Turned on by pain.

[messedupmarionette]

It took me a really long time to be ok with my masochism. Even now I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with it. When I would experiment with it I would always want it to go farther, to get more dangerous, but the person I was with loved me too much to ever really hurt me (thank god). I had a choking experience where my windpipe was nearly crushed, and I still wanted more. I've had some pretty intense experiences mingling sex and pain, and I don't think it makes me a freak. It just makes me different.

If this lifestyle worries you or hurts you emotionally, talk to somebody. If the standards of a "Healthy" sexuality and other people's opinion is all that's bothering you, then don't worry about it. Just do what makes you happy. If you're not happy, talk to someone.

Feel free to pm me or anything if you want to talk

 

[~PinkElephants~]

It took me a really long time to be ok with my masochism. Even now I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with it. When I would experiment with it I would always want it to go farther, to get more dangerous, but the person I was with loved me too much to ever really hurt me (thank god). I had a choking experience where my windpipe was nearly crushed, and I still wanted more. I've had some pretty intense experiences mingling sex and pain, and I don't think it makes me a freak. It just makes me different.

If this lifestyle worries you or hurts you emotionally, talk to somebody. If the standards of a "Healthy" sexuality and other people's opinion is all that's bothering you, then don't worry about it. Just do what makes you happy. If you're not happy, talk to someone.

Feel free to pm me or anything if you want to talk

Thank you marionette :hug: Means alot to hear that.

 

[messedupmarionette]

Well it's really scary to think that you're a freak because of your sexuality. The BDSM culture is one that's really not accepted yet, and so those of us that are members need to support one another

 

[famous.last.words]

What if you love someone who doesnt really know this side of you?
I have tried to broach it in the past, had some moments ive enjoyed when we have both had a drink, but he refuses to accept it anymore because he beleives its part of some kind of self-harm in my head, pushing a new form of pain and hurt onto myself.

I cant make him understand, but i love him anyway. How can you explain to someone who wants to try and protect you from what they see as a manifestation of all the hurt you have felt in the past? How do you convince them that you would love them more if they beat the shit out of you. wow, sounds fucking redicious when you write it down >.<

 

[aoeu]

I go with the endorphin approach [ie. that your brain releases the same chemical during pain and orgasms], but I'm rather a technical person.

You could also get him to perform small harms on you; dragging his nails across your back, perhaps. Once he sees the pleasurable effect you get from it, he might be inclined to do more. It can be a bit much to be told to good and properly beat up someone you love even if you know she wants it.

I'm very protective of my female friends, many of whom have been raped and abused, but I'm not opposed to consensual violence.

 

[famous.last.words]

^
thanks for taking the time to reply. your advice is really good, normally people ignore my borderline-retorical rubbish

You sound like a good friend to have. in a weird way i want to be protected too. im not sure, my mind is all messed up i suppose, im not truely sure what i want anymore.

God, no wonder my boy gets confused with me. poor lad >.<

 

[plates]

A lot of my past sexual/ relationships were masochistic..
I can't say I liked it (or maybe I did because of the frame of mind I was in at the time). It'd be just an extension for self harm. I'd hate myself after or it'd be a ritual kind of, something to reassure myself that I was (this/that/the other). I didn't feel loved.

I hit myself a lot, bruise myself and completely batter myself when I feel like I'm being sucked back to my past. My gf didn't hit me, but sexually she'd make me do a lot of things (and still does) that makes me feel like I'm something she can tease and leave.

Personally, hitting for me is linked to my past and I'd rather just leave it there....I have violent sexual fantasies where I get hit around but I suppose that's just linked to my past. I can't say I feel 'fulfilled' having an orgasm to being hit- it's a very empty reassurance...I suppose this is delving to a part of me (the past) that I'm trying to leave behind.

 

[Dave_N]

After all this talk about BDSM, I kind of feel like being held down and forced to have sex with a woman who likes being in control. :laugh:

 

[~PinkElephants~]

After all this talk about BDSM, I kind of feel like being held down and forced to have sex with a woman who likes being in control. :laugh:

Stay out of my threads.

 

[patacake]

Dave i could not believe it when i read ur reply above , I am sorry to be complaining again about ur 'choice of words' however I think given the nature of kellys thread , making a joke like u did was tant amount to belittling the seriousness of the thread as well as showing total insensitvity to Kelly . Come on Dave u are intelligent , think about those replies please. :sad:



kelly :hug: :wub: im here hun if talking would or could ever help xx

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Dave i could not believe it when i read ur reply above , I am sorry to be complaining again about ur 'choice of words' however I think given the nature of kellys thread , making a joke like u did was tant amount to belittling the seriousness of the thread as well as showing total insensitvity to Kelly . Come on Dave u are intelligent , think about those replies please. :sad:



kelly :hug: :wub: im here hun if talking would or could ever help xx

Thank you jo. that means the world to me. It seems lately that when I post it gets turned around into something else entirely different, so thank you for redirecting it back to the point at hand.

I enjoy pain but I'm afraid it's going to go to a point where I let it go to far. As far as the bdsm that's fine..it's the fact that I let guys play by choking me until I raise my hand to stop or they decide to stop. It turns me on immensely to feel my life in someone elses hands.

Dave, on a side note. You saying that you want to get beat by a woman shows how little understanding you have for my thread and shows how little respect you hvae for me or my problems. I don't berate you for your issues(not that you have any since you've made that clear). Your aim at this site is to help people, well you don't help me, you make me feel worse, so please Dave, I've asked you God knows how many times to stay out of my threads. Stop patronizing me, stop stalking me, stop harrassing me and stop hijacking my damn threads.

Again thank you Jo. Wubbles you dearly.

 

[HappyAZaClaM]

After all this talk about BDSM, I kind of feel like being held down and forced to have sex with a woman who likes being in control. :laugh:

were you intentionally being an asshole? or is it one of those
"I can't help it I am's what I am's" sort of things? leave her
alone popeye. a science teacher you iz. a comedian you izn't.

and the thread scarcely warrants even attempted comedy. dude,
get real.

 

[~PinkElephants~]

were you intentionally being an asshole? or is it one of those
"I can't help it I am's what I am's" sort of things? leave her
alone popeye. a science teacher you iz. a comedian you izn't.

and the thread scarcely warrants even attempted comedy. dude,
get real.

Thank you clam. Bdsm isn't about being forced to do anything...so clearly dave is clueless on the basics of it. He should get a book and read up on. BDSM is about submitting and learning your limitations. It's about trusting someone fully. There is no force whatsoever in bdsm as it's all about trust, using safe words to knwo when pain is too great etc. I think he needs to read shit before he comments on stuff he has no understanding of.

Love you clam and thank you

 

[nagisa]

Kelly :hug: I'm here if you need to talk about this. I'm turned on by pain as well.

 

[Esmeralda]

Thank you jo. that means the world to me. It seems lately that when I post it gets turned around into something else entirely different, so thank you for redirecting it back to the point at hand.

I enjoy pain but I'm afraid it's going to go to a point where I let it go to far. As far as the bdsm that's fine..it's the fact that I let guys play by choking me until I raise my hand to stop or they decide to stop. It turns me on immensely to feel my life in someone elses hands.

Dave, on a side note. You saying that you want to get beat by a woman shows how little understanding you have for my thread and shows how little respect you hvae for me or my problems. I don't berate you for your issues(not that you have any since you've made that clear). Your aim at this site is to help people, well you don't help me, you make me feel worse, so please Dave, I've asked you God knows how many times to stay out of my threads. Stop patronizing me, stop stalking me, stop harrassing me and stop hijacking my damn threads.

Again thank you Jo. Wubbles you dearly.

Why are you so afraid of someone taking it too far? Do you regularly have sex with people who would actually take it far enough to cause you real and lasting harm? If the answer is "yes" then I think this in itself is more worrying than being a masochist because you are actually sharing these acts with someone who is capable of harming you irreparably. I mean, regardless of whether or not you have a psychological problem regarding allowing yourself to be hurt, you should not be engaging in sex with someone crazy enough to actually take it that far. I think that's a bigger problem.

Let's face it. Someone who cares about you at all (or even, someone who is not a complete psychopath) would never take it as far as that.

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Anastasia
I don't go out with people that would intentionally harm me. They know when enough is enough. The problem is I'd most likely never say stop or ask for more if they stopped. I don't know if it's necessarily think it's a problem when I think about it and read what people have said. I think I am a masochist. I get off on the bruises and the physical pain. I don't know my limitations yet. I don't know if I ever will because I don't think they'd ever be tested to that point. All i can hope for is a good balance between it.

 

[Esmeralda]

Anastasia
I don't go out with people that would intentionally harm me. They know when enough is enough. The problem is I'd most likely never say stop or ask for more if they stopped. I don't know if it's necessarily think it's a problem when I think about it and read what people have said. I think I am a masochist. I get off on the bruises and the physical pain. I don't know my limitations yet. I don't know if I ever will because I don't think they'd ever be tested to that point. All i can hope for is a good balance between it.

Well that's good. I'm glad you're keeping safe. Just because you haven't yet found your limitations in no way means you don't have any. I am quite certain that you do have limitations, even if you can't necessarily conceive of what those might be or even if you have fantasies of something pretty awful. Fantasies are just that. Lots of women for example, have rape fantasies and engage in sex play to that effect. That in NO WAY means that they actually want to be raped in reality, just that they can safely engage in this sort of "play" with a partner whom they trust because deep down, they know that they are safe. I'm sure that deep down, you know that you are safe and thus are just exploring your sexual fantasies in a relatively safe environment.

Of course, there are psychological reasons for your masochistic tendencies that only you can really ever know and that you are doing the right thing by exploring. Keep questioning and analyzing yourself and you'll find the root of it

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Well that's good. I'm glad you're keeping safe. Just because you haven't yet found your limitations in no way means you don't have any. I am quite certain that you do have limitations, even if you can't necessarily conceive of what those might be or even if you have fantasies of something pretty awful. Fantasies are just that. Lots of women for example, have rape fantasies and engage in sex play to that effect. That in NO WAY means that they actually want to be raped in reality, just that they can safely engage in this sort of "play" with a partner whom they trust because deep down, they know that they are safe. I'm sure that deep down, you know that you are safe and thus are just exploring your sexual fantasies in a relatively safe environment.

Of course, there are psychological reasons for your masochistic tendencies that only you can really ever know and that you are doing the right thing by exploring. Keep questioning and analyzing yourself and you'll find the root of it

Umm, if you read my very first post. I was raped at 17.
The point of the post was because I felt that was the cause of me wanting the pain etc.

 

[Esmeralda]

Umm, if you read my very first post. I was raped at 17.
The point of the post was because I felt that was the cause of me wanting the pain etc.

Yes I did. I only meant that it almost certainly goes deeper than that and that it definitely bears exploring. For example there must be other factors, since not every woman who has been raped is also a masochist.

 

[HappyAZaClaM]

Yes I did. I only meant that it almost certainly goes deeper than that and that it definitely bears exploring. For example there must be other factors, since not every woman who has been raped is also a masochist.

have you been raped? any masochistic tendencies? or....what are your
qualifications in this arena, even based on studies, statistics, friends
or family with similar issues? ? anything except ones own opinion. because
more often than not ones opinion is off the mark in terms of someone elses
life. what is your point by the way? sorry if I seem brusque. "it almost
certainly goes deeper than that" but not necessarily, right?

right.