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Unable to move on

WatchingPlanesFlyBy

Captain of the Catwalk
#1
I hate my brother

He left behind a stain I cannot remove

Mom killed herself because of him

Dad ran away

My siblings won't talk about it

I'm tired. I mean it. I am exhausted after 20 years of grieving, not able to accept his passing.

I'm going to hurt myself. I guess I'm writing it here in hopes you could stop me.

But you can't.
 

Sassy Cat

SF hugger
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
Ohh please don't hurt yourself that is definitely not the answer it sounds like you have dealt with a lot of heart ache. You can survive move forward you can have a good life you don't have to keep grieving. This is not what you want to do to your siblings
 

nobodyknows71

For a Phoenix to rise, it must first burn.
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Hi planes, wow I get what you're saying so much. I have brother issues that have spread to family issues.
I don't know your whole situation, but what I do know is hurting yourself is not going to make things better or right.
Please don't!

Keep talking

Take care of you
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#5
We're here to listen and support you so please don't hurt yourself...take to heart that you do matter and that you aren't alone...
 

WatchingPlanesFlyBy

Captain of the Catwalk
#6
I'm sorry for not coming back sooner. I'm not feeling better but it's under control.

I won't go into details but I did what I had to do. Then I took a long hot shower and decompressed.

I've tried to 'unbreak' myself but nothing satisfies or brings peace like harming myself to cope with emotional distress. It's my crutch in times of pain.

Especially when the loss of him poisons my mind. I am alone in my grief with nobody to turn to. I can't talk to my friends, they only nod and say they're sorry. My older brother doesn't ever want to talk about Julian, he seems to have almost forgotten Julian existed. Dad offers empty platitudes but I can tell behind his words, there is pain he doesn't want to share.

Mom straight up neglected everyone and overdosed.

I had to turn to my boss for comfort and he said "I've never lost anyone but I don't think you're ever supposed to get over it." He checks in on me every day to see how my route is going and tries to cheer me up. I really like him and I want him to hold me.

Some days I never think about him. Earlier in June dad called to ask if I did anything special for his birthday and I lied.

It all culminated into a break down last night.

I'm sorry everyone.
 

ashleyneedshope29

Well-Known Member
#7
WatchingPlanesFlyBy Dont let anyone tell you how to handle your brothers passing you grieve as long as you want to. If you ever need to talk or just need some comforting im here you can pm me or send me a shout.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#8
First there is no need to apologize as you are going through some pretty tough things right now. There is no right or wrong way to grieve as it is unique to everyone. I am sorry that you don't have support you need from family and friends...often friends don't understand or know what to say...i wondered if you were able to talk with a therapist or your gp.? Sending you hugs.
 

nobodyknows71

For a Phoenix to rise, it must first burn.
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
Hi planes, no apology needed.

I'm sorry you're going through this alone. My advice is to get help. Therapy is what I think you need. YOU need to make peace with what happened and how it's affecting YOU.
It's sad you can't pull together as a family and support each other, but if that's not going to happen, then you need to take care of you first. Above and beyond everything else.

Love and hugs x
 

Kira

•✮• SF Gelfling •✮•
SF Creative
SF Artist
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#10
You never have to apologize for reaching out for help ((((hugs))))
Your boss sounds wonderful too.
Hope today is treating you better :)
 

JacsMom

Staff Alumni
#11
Hi Planes. I'm so sorry you are going through all this pain. I lost my daughter several years ago. There is no time frame for grieving and we all do it in different ways. I'm sorry you can't talk to your older brother. I really doubt he has forgotten about your brother. I'm sure it's just too painful for him to talk about. My son has never dealt with his sister's death and doesn't talk about her much, either. But I do know he misses her terribly and grieves for her, too. I wish he would talk about her, but it's just the way he handles it. I sought out a professional to learn how to cope. I think with family sometimes that everyone is hurting so much, it's hard to express it. I'm sorry you lost your mom, too. I thought about ending it all when my daughter died. It wasn't that I don't love my son just as much as I love her. It was just the pain was too much to bear. I realized at some point I needed outside help. It made a difference. I was able to vent and get professional advice on how to handle my grief and pain. I don't know if you have gone this route, but if not, it may be something to consider. I will "never get over it" but I have learned to live without her. It doesn't mean it's easy and that I don't miss her. I still have times (like her anniversary) where I grieve deeply. The difference is, I know I will recover from it again. If you'd ever like to talk, please feel free to send me a message.
 

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