Very Lonely Feeling :(

[Amber]

Hey, I've been posting on SF like mad, hope you don't mind.

I'm sad and lonely. I feel like it's night time and I'm the only one alive. Dispite the fact ive got my bf in here but he's playing games. I feel like ive got this huge hole in my heart. idk what to do anymore. I keep wanting to cry out "help me, just fucking help me, doesn't anybody care?" I sleep all day, sit on the pc all night. my bf is sorta the same. idk what to do anymore. I dont enjoy anything =[ and I have been isolating myself (go figure I feel lonely, right?) My phones been off. When I think of anything in the past.. i think of the people that used to be in my life but arent now. Like looking at pics on my old camera, reminds me of where i used to live, my ex, my old friends.. and the fact i should have been spending that time with my grandma instead of getting drunk every night. I have SO many regrets. I just want peace, that's all I want.

 

[*sparkle*]

:hug: dont have regrets sweetheart... the past has been and gone... try and remember the good bits ok? can you go and see your doc at all who may be able to help with counselling or something? x

 

[Amber]

That's the problem, I just got out of a 30 day crisis counselling thing. And I'm back to feeling like this I know I NEED help, but I've tried and tried to get it. and i'm SO willing to change, I really am. It's just hard, I feel like I will NEVER be normal or be able to manage my symptoms.

 

[Amber]

Thanks for replying to my posts, sparkle. You make me feel a lot less lonely

 

[MoAnamCara]

Amber,

I'm sorry you feel so lonely, its something that seems to affect a lot of us and even sometimes if we're in a roomful of people.

Like sparkle said, no regrets, they will eat at you. Accept or try to accept things and move forward. Expend your energy on pushing for more help for yourself.

Take care.

 

[*sparkle*]

:hugtackles: can you go back to your doc and tell them that you are feeling bad again? perhaps meds or just more counselling etc could help.... x

 

[Amber]

Agreed MoAnamCara, It's the craziest thing. I'll go to the store and be surrounded by people and just feel so alone. I hate it. And I know I'm not alone in that feeling.

Sparkle, I can try to go get some more help. I've been on these meds about 2 months now. I kept going back and being like "it's not working" but they said just give it time. IDK if 2 months is long enough.

I just wanted to add to this post that.. I think what goes along with the feeling of lonliness is a feeling that there is no one in the world that loves me. I mean I think my pets do.. but I mean like.. no person. I have a bf but it seems like if he loved me he'd be here holding me as I cry instead of playing games all night.

 

[*sparkle*]

hey :hug: def just go back to discuss the meds - so much trial and error - its worth just checking with the doc again.... its easy to think nobody cares or loves you when you are feeling down.... can you speak to your BF - tell him how you feel? or just tell him you really need a big hug right now and please could he stop playing games just for a little bit? :hugtackles: