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Walking around and trying to stop pressing the self-destruction button.
- Thread starter Unknown_111
- Start date
Thank you your kind words. I have the suggestion but I no reason to move. My presence just winds up them up. I have no grudges but I am determined to keep going. The campaign of hate, is nothing in comparison with me surviving on a day by day basis. Stay strong and thank you for post.
I know I feel the hurt I caused everyday but I am so determined to achieve the impossible as that drives be to succeed in life.
I know I feel the hurt I caused everyday but I am so determined to achieve the impossible as that drives be to succeed in life.
I need to write my feelings as it helps me to move on a day by day basis. I cry tears of shame because the immense pressure but I am strong and will be for a long time. My tears are not false but a sign of remorse.
I will live for another day and help others to see that you have to be strong from within. I need to find strength to help you folk and myself.
I will live for another day and help others to see that you have to be strong from within. I need to find strength to help you folk and myself.
Thank you for your support. I appreciate the offer of a pray but I feel that I am not worthy of such a deed. Please accept my apologies, if I have offended you, but I have a darkened soul that needs to suffer with guilt. I will survive this downturn by helping others.
Just to let you know, the lady I helped by giving $5000 dollars was moving into her new home next week. So I helped this lady and her daughter into a happy life. I managed to save a life that's what life is about. Helping others is my only way to show this third party how remorseful I am. It might not mean anything to my haters but I am changing lives as I suffer everyday. I expect no gratitude back but helping others has given me a purpose in life.
My story continuous ....................
Just to let you know, the lady I helped by giving $5000 dollars was moving into her new home next week. So I helped this lady and her daughter into a happy life. I managed to save a life that's what life is about. Helping others is my only way to show this third party how remorseful I am. It might not mean anything to my haters but I am changing lives as I suffer everyday. I expect no gratitude back but helping others has given me a purpose in life.
My story continuous ....................
be well
Today, I achieved a small milestone in that I achieved 500,000 m. It taken a lot of mental and physical pain. My body hurts a lot and my heart is crying the tears of remorse. I cry tears at the moment saying I want to do something but at the same time I want to contact the third-party. I cannot contact because it will cause this person unnecessary stress. I know I'm down but I'm so remorseful no one sees me crying tears of shame and hurt. I hope the third-party will realise I am suffering as I write my feelings down. Do I really deserve to commit the final commitment or get to live another day. I'm trying my best to be a better but a darken soul, the shadow darkness is taking over any hope and light I see. Do I really deserve to die for being stupid. Whatever happens to me, I have to face my demons and have to live the consequences of my actions. Living that on a day to day basis is punishment enough and no need to add public humiliation to it. I know my haters might think I'm having the time of life. Let me reassure you, the impossible promise is punishment enough for the next twenty years. It's only one of two promises I live for.
The other promise is related to someone who I really care from within as this human being asked me on the night of 27th December 2014, to never leave them alone. I made a promise that I would never leave them alone as this human being could not survive on his own. This person is so precious to me that cry tears for this person as they me around for a long time. I will keep my word to this person. I might live in a free world but far from it. On the inside , I am a caged individual who is waiting for death sentence to be committed. I know I must be punished don't others think I have punished enough in that I achieved this promise and I apologised to the third party on the 3rd September 2015. The mental torment is touturess every day. I broken down this but if I have suffered the worst two years of my life. Surely that is punishment enough.
I think my haters might have a difference of opinion, which you may not be, I am in agreement. I really hurt this third party but I also suffered a massive mental breakdown in 2014 and torment from others in 2015. I still suffer to this day and I will in the near future. I hope I suffer heart failure whilst trying to achieve the impossible promise. I hope if this ever comes to the public eye, it shows them that I was very remorseful and really regret hurting this third party. This is not lies but the truth.
Thank you reading, the crying has stopped as I write my feelings which helps me resolve my anguish and shows how remorseful I feel. The impossible promise left us 41.5 million. It will be done.
The other promise is related to someone who I really care from within as this human being asked me on the night of 27th December 2014, to never leave them alone. I made a promise that I would never leave them alone as this human being could not survive on his own. This person is so precious to me that cry tears for this person as they me around for a long time. I will keep my word to this person. I might live in a free world but far from it. On the inside , I am a caged individual who is waiting for death sentence to be committed. I know I must be punished don't others think I have punished enough in that I achieved this promise and I apologised to the third party on the 3rd September 2015. The mental torment is touturess every day. I broken down this but if I have suffered the worst two years of my life. Surely that is punishment enough.
I think my haters might have a difference of opinion, which you may not be, I am in agreement. I really hurt this third party but I also suffered a massive mental breakdown in 2014 and torment from others in 2015. I still suffer to this day and I will in the near future. I hope I suffer heart failure whilst trying to achieve the impossible promise. I hope if this ever comes to the public eye, it shows them that I was very remorseful and really regret hurting this third party. This is not lies but the truth.
Thank you reading, the crying has stopped as I write my feelings which helps me resolve my anguish and shows how remorseful I feel. The impossible promise left us 41.5 million. It will be done.
Petal, thank you but I truly do not deserve sympathy as I am just me. I will help anyone but I am here to give back to others as this site saved my life. Suicide is not the option when you are down but things can be worked out. I am nothing special but a soulless person floating helping others in their lives. Life is about caring the less fortunate and trying to become a better person by learning from your mistakes. I hurt another human being and I have to live with that for the rest of my natural days. I am not expecting any forgiveness as I really hurt someone who had faith in me. I will never betray this person and I will never seek any revenge. Life is about caring for each as we have one life not nine like cats.
Yesterday, I was down due injuring my back. I stayed in most of the day in but made some social interaction. I went to a local store and bought some smokes. I met a old chap and he wanted some help. I gave him some smokes and asked if he wanted something to eat. He said, but like 50 cents. I gave him 70 cents. He appreciated the smokes and the spare change. I advised him to come back later so he did get into trouble.
The completed post as I missed the time limit.........
Yesterday, I was down due injuring my back. I stayed in most of the day in but made some social interaction. I went to a local store and bought some smokes. I met a old chap and he wanted some help. I gave him some smokes and asked if he wanted something to eat. He said, but like 50 cents. I gave him 70 cents. He appreciated the smokes and the spare change. I advised him to come back later so he did not get into trouble.
To me it shows, when you have everything today and nothing tomorrow. You can survive but you have to be strong. Please listen, any thoughts you have about doing something, please reconsider then as YOU AND I ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT AND LIFE IS ABOUT LIVING AND NOTHING MORE.
BE STRONG PLEASE AND LET ME FEEL YOUR PAIN AS I TRY TO ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE.
My story continues..................
Yesterday, I was down due injuring my back. I stayed in most of the day in but made some social interaction. I went to a local store and bought some smokes. I met a old chap and he wanted some help. I gave him some smokes and asked if he wanted something to eat. He said, but like 50 cents. I gave him 70 cents. He appreciated the smokes and the spare change. I advised him to come back later so he did not get into trouble.
To me it shows, when you have everything today and nothing tomorrow. You can survive but you have to be strong. Please listen, any thoughts you have about doing something, please reconsider then as YOU AND I ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT AND LIFE IS ABOUT LIVING AND NOTHING MORE.
BE STRONG PLEASE AND LET ME FEEL YOUR PAIN AS I TRY TO ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE.
My story continues..................
Today with my back ache, I struggled to achieve the impossible but my head screamed you suffer and the mother of by body told me rest. I had to give into my body. My body is now suffering but I have to it today and take it easy. My head is still grieving the recovery from being brainwashed into doing something because I made a promise. The promise was done and therefore the emotional was like lifting myself the chains that I was enchanted with. I doing did this promise because I cared about the hurt I caused to this third party.
The hurt I feel inside for the thirty party is still raw as it was two years ago. I just to say sorry but I do it by writing this journal. If I can survive the pain I live with then you can as well. Nothing is to important to do the final commitment but to help each other to get through the day and the next day.
My story continues..............
The hurt I feel inside for the thirty party is still raw as it was two years ago. I just to say sorry but I do it by writing this journal. If I can survive the pain I live with then you can as well. Nothing is to important to do the final commitment but to help each other to get through the day and the next day.
My story continues..............
Thank you for the nice words but I am determined to make amends for the hurt caused. You have find the strength from within to continue to live life. I have digged deep for a long time and it taken time to build a wall of resilience by living on a day to day basis. I get bullied a lot from certain individuals but the pain I endure is phenomenal. The words of encouragement drives to me to live on a day by day basis.
Yesterday was easy as the campaign of hate had calmed for the day. In the morning, I went to a local town and help the homeless lady who I brought the trainers. I brought her breakfast. She was sleeping rough but I was saddened that I could not give her accommodation in order to help her.
Yesterday, the office cleaner asked me for more money. I was in two minds, she needed money in order to pay someone off from whom she already loaned $200 dollars. I am still in two minds deciding whether to help her. I judge money to be a piece of paper with no value, whereas life is more precious. I just think that people use me because Im soft. I now portray a hard shell at the moment in order to protect my sanity and fear of losing my life. I'm very scared but trying live my life to the best of my ability.
The road ahead for me is hard but I am driven to help others and achieve the impossible. Please if anyone who is reading this, draw strength from me as YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND ANY PLANS YOU HAVE PLEASE FORGET ABOUT THEM.
My stories continues.....................
Yesterday, the office cleaner asked me for more money. I was in two minds, she needed money in order to pay someone off from whom she already loaned $200 dollars. I am still in two minds deciding whether to help her. I judge money to be a piece of paper with no value, whereas life is more precious. I just think that people use me because Im soft. I now portray a hard shell at the moment in order to protect my sanity and fear of losing my life. I'm very scared but trying live my life to the best of my ability.
The road ahead for me is hard but I am driven to help others and achieve the impossible. Please if anyone who is reading this, draw strength from me as YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND ANY PLANS YOU HAVE PLEASE FORGET ABOUT THEM.
My stories continues.....................