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Walking around and trying to stop pressing the self-destruction button.
- Thread starter Unknown_111
- Start date
Yesterday, the day was ok but I met the homeless man who I brought trainers for. He stated that he needed new trainers. I explained that I had some money. He stated that he appreciated anything. I gave him $6 dollars. I told him that I will make up the difference. It's quite simple, I cannot see anyone walk without trainers in this modern day. He told me not to worry about the future as he knew how remorseful I am today.
I was mentally tired yesterday but crashed but did not have the energy to cry. I'm so tired emotionally but I am surviving some how. I can see the darkness all over me now and no light. So let the darkness prevail but Like I stay I am still clutching the mountain of life by three fingers. I do not want to fail in anyway as I don't want to fall into the abyss of darkness.
My stores continues...........
I was mentally tired yesterday but crashed but did not have the energy to cry. I'm so tired emotionally but I am surviving some how. I can see the darkness all over me now and no light. So let the darkness prevail but Like I stay I am still clutching the mountain of life by three fingers. I do not want to fail in anyway as I don't want to fall into the abyss of darkness.
My stores continues...........
Thank you Brian. I will stay strong as when you have no hope in life, you have no choice but to fight for your life and encourage others that life is important. I might not see any happiness in the future but it's a price I must pay for being so cruel and horrible to a fellow human being. I must self-punish myself for hurting someone who I did care about and I now must try to become a better person.
My story continues...........
My story continues...........
Today, I mentally crashed heavily as my day was hard. The mental strain for the next twenty years ahead really got to me. I could not cry as I had no tears left. I think my day are numbered but I continue to live by a day by day basis. I did not help anyone today, as I very down today as my back hurt a lot. Please I don't want any empathy but I write down feelings as it helps me to redeem my feelings for the hurt caused to the third party.
My story continues................
My story continues................
I am so mentally drained. How much more pain do I have endure?, I ask myself. I am crying whilst, I write this. Sometimes, I think I am mentally deteriorating but I somehow I find the strength to move on and on to achieve this impossible target. There is no option to me but to achieve the impossible impossible. Perhaps this is not making any sense to anyone but I am so determined to do it. I have got so far in trying to rebuild my life.
I will prove to the third party. I am willing to forsake any happiness in order to be so remorseful for the hurt caused. I write when I can as to show others that life is important and for you folk to show that suicide is not the solution.
What I have endured over the past two years should help YOU to move toward like me. I might live on a hour by hour basis but I am still here.
My story continues..............................
I will prove to the third party. I am willing to forsake any happiness in order to be so remorseful for the hurt caused. I write when I can as to show others that life is important and for you folk to show that suicide is not the solution.
What I have endured over the past two years should help YOU to move toward like me. I might live on a hour by hour basis but I am still here.
My story continues..............................
Today, I had a mixture of emotions but I am determined to live life. My back is aching severely but I driven to achieve the impossible. The hurt I feel is deep but I strive to achieve the impossible. My back is aching but the recovery process is hard.
Today, I thought it was my last as I am so down but I am driven by YOU FOLK. YOU FOLK GIVE ME THE DETERMINATION TO MOVE FORWARD. I might live a nightmare everyday but life is important but together we can move forward one day at a time.
I hope my story continues as I strive to move forward with life. The self-destruction button is still there but I will not press it as LIFE IS IMPORTANT.
Thank you reading this and together let's hold heart together to move forward with our lives.
Today, I thought it was my last as I am so down but I am driven by YOU FOLK. YOU FOLK GIVE ME THE DETERMINATION TO MOVE FORWARD. I might live a nightmare everyday but life is important but together we can move forward one day at a time.
I hope my story continues as I strive to move forward with life. The self-destruction button is still there but I will not press it as LIFE IS IMPORTANT.
Thank you reading this and together let's hold heart together to move forward with our lives.
Today was terrible, in that I got treatment for my back injury. I stayed inside until the night time. I went out and met the old man and his dog. He told me that his social security was not getting anywhere. I felt sorry and gave him $10 dollars. The dog happy to see me and wagged his tail. I gave him an affectionate tickle on the tummy. The dog enjoyed the affection, I cried inside in that I am so lonely in the world as I isolate myself from everyone as to protect the ones I know and don't want any future with them.
I met another man who showed me continuous support and realised that I was person of conviction. I am determined to live life but the mental cruelty I have put myself under is extricating. I put this pressure on as to show how much I care for the hurt caused.
I heard about the girl who I helped as she moved to the coast. It was a pleasure to help her but I would appreciated a thank you from her. I so down today as my back and arm hurt everyday. Please, I don't want empathy but I am determined to punish the self-hate within me. It's the only way, I can be remorseful. I know I talk a lot but writing my feelings helps me to move on.
My story continues................
I met another man who showed me continuous support and realised that I was person of conviction. I am determined to live life but the mental cruelty I have put myself under is extricating. I put this pressure on as to show how much I care for the hurt caused.
I heard about the girl who I helped as she moved to the coast. It was a pleasure to help her but I would appreciated a thank you from her. I so down today as my back and arm hurt everyday. Please, I don't want empathy but I am determined to punish the self-hate within me. It's the only way, I can be remorseful. I know I talk a lot but writing my feelings helps me to move on.
My story continues................
I am struggling as I got a virus and as I suffering from insomnia I cannot sleep. I am struggling so much mentally and physically but I am driven to live another day. I just cried all day for the hurt I feel within but I know that I will suffer everyday for what I became. I get to live another day tomorrow and to me that's a bonus for me. I get to make others happy whilst I continue to internal torment.
I cannot show anyone my torment but write down my feelings each as it helps me to release the pain from within. I cleaned my automobile today and all I played was "Sorry" by Justin Bieber. The lyrics express my feelings (no lies, I promise)
My story continues................. ( I hope)
I cannot show anyone my torment but write down my feelings each as it helps me to release the pain from within. I cleaned my automobile today and all I played was "Sorry" by Justin Bieber. The lyrics express my feelings (no lies, I promise)
My story continues................. ( I hope)
I'm glad it helps you to write out your thoughts 
Even if that song just made you feel more content or happy at the time then good for you, that is a success. Please keep on keeping us updated. You are cared about here very much! I know sometimes you can feel very alone and I am sorry you are suffering with insomnia. I hope life continues to improve for you!
Even if that song just made you feel more content or happy at the time then good for you, that is a success. Please keep on keeping us updated. You are cared about here very much! I know sometimes you can feel very alone and I am sorry you are suffering with insomnia. I hope life continues to improve for you!
I'm glad it helps you to write out your thoughts Even if that song just made you feel more content or happy at the time then good for you, that is a success. Please keep on keeping us updated. You are cared about here very much! I know sometimes you can feel very alone and I am sorry you are suffering with insomnia. I hope life continues to improve for you!
Even if that song just made you feel more content or happy at the time then good for you, that is a success. Please keep on keeping us updated. You are cared about here very much! I know sometimes you can feel very alone and I am sorry you are suffering with insomnia. I hope life continues to improve for you!
I am determined to prove to others, whatever situation you are in you have to dig deep from the unknown and fight for your right to life. How more can I do to say sorry to the third party. I will have to live with guilt of hurt I cause for the rest of my life but I will not give into my haters or my internal demons.
Please fight your life as it's important as much you are.
My story continues...............
Hi, Brian. I am determined to live my life and this will be done my self-hate turning into positive determination. Trust me, I crash daily but I get stronger by the day little by little. My internal torment will make be stronger as I have no revenge planned but pure determination to proof others wrong. When your are at the bottom you have to deep to survive. I will survive thanks to the support of others here.
My stories will continue...... I make this promise.....
My stories will continue...... I make this promise.....
Yesterday was tough, it was mentally hard as the virus is not shifting and causes me get down. Someone upset yesterday but I ignored this hater. I tried last night to achieve something but I failed. I know deep down I want to live but sometimes there comes a time when you think enough is enough. I think suffering a simple virus got to me yesterday but I survived another day.
I carry a deep dark heart everyday but that's something I have to live with. I will continue to write my feelings down so I can reflect on the hurt I caused to a fellow human being and give you folk the inspiration or reason to LIVE LIFE.
The usual last line........
My story will continue.........................
I carry a deep dark heart everyday but that's something I have to live with. I will continue to write my feelings down so I can reflect on the hurt I caused to a fellow human being and give you folk the inspiration or reason to LIVE LIFE.
The usual last line........
My story will continue.........................
Today was I tough and I stood up to one of haters and gave them a dose of their medicine. I told the person if they wish me dead (I apologise to the moderators if this causes triggers) then just say so. The retort back was an answer of "Let's take a vote." What sort of care does that show but PURE HATE. This person who I talk about holds grudges and has pleasure in tormenting me and others in the past. To me joking with others is about taking a joke as well as giving it.
I suffer from low-esteem issues as a result of this person. This person likes to torment others and thinks it that they can get away with it. I know I caused hurt to a fellow human being who I cared about but I feel that I have suffered a lot for it. I know, I deserve to be punished but this hater thinks they above any rules. I hope if I am punished then this person also needs to realise they need to pay for actions towards me. Like they say "what goes around comes around?".
I know I answerable for my actions but what I did was out of care and not malice. I will repeat again. I'm sorry to your folk for being so repetitive. LIFE IS ABOUT CARING AND NOT REVENGE. IM NOT A REVENGFUL PERSON BUT A CARING SOUL. This can be seen by the responses I place on this forum.
My story will continue......... I make this promise.........
I suffer from low-esteem issues as a result of this person. This person likes to torment others and thinks it that they can get away with it. I know I caused hurt to a fellow human being who I cared about but I feel that I have suffered a lot for it. I know, I deserve to be punished but this hater thinks they above any rules. I hope if I am punished then this person also needs to realise they need to pay for actions towards me. Like they say "what goes around comes around?".
I know I answerable for my actions but what I did was out of care and not malice. I will repeat again. I'm sorry to your folk for being so repetitive. LIFE IS ABOUT CARING AND NOT REVENGE. IM NOT A REVENGFUL PERSON BUT A CARING SOUL. This can be seen by the responses I place on this forum.
My story will continue......... I make this promise.........
Brian, thank you acknowledging how remorseful I have been. That pushes me to move forward. This hater gets away with making libel comments without revealing their identity. This hater wants to see me punished and the only best solution for me is my death.
I will not give into those feelings as I am determined to move forward with my life. Whatever happens this blog will tell the world how remorseful I have been but I will the world decide my fate. If it has to be the final commitment then so be it. My death will not be in vain but shows others the pain I endured at pleasure of all my haters.
All I can say, I hope my haters realise what they put me through but I came through theworst. These are my own words (with spelling mistakes) and my feelings. I shed tears but to some haters my tears mean nothing but just my death.
You have to be strong to live when you nothing left.
My story continues..............
I will not give into those feelings as I am determined to move forward with my life. Whatever happens this blog will tell the world how remorseful I have been but I will the world decide my fate. If it has to be the final commitment then so be it. My death will not be in vain but shows others the pain I endured at pleasure of all my haters.
All I can say, I hope my haters realise what they put me through but I came through theworst. These are my own words (with spelling mistakes) and my feelings. I shed tears but to some haters my tears mean nothing but just my death.
You have to be strong to live when you nothing left.
My story continues..............
I have to write down my feelings. I crashed to the ground again crawling from one end of the room to the other crying. " I want to die." with tears rolling down from my eyes. The pain I endure is severe but as I ever I get up and decide to live another day. The hater from yesterday deserves to be hated as they love to torment others but does not realise the effect it has on others. Mental torment is not nice as it causes damage to others. I hope when this person read this passage that they realise you need to respect people and you have no need to hold grudges. Grudges eat you up but they can bite back. I hope others who watched the pain I suffered in the past two years make this person's life hell and keep the torment up. I don't hold grudges and I apologise to all the people who hate me. I hope when I go because of either natural causes or a violent act by a third party, my life was not in vain. I leave this blog so that tells others what I suffered on a daily basis and a legacy on this site to everyone in the world that "YOU HAVE ONE LIFE AND YOU SHOULD TRY TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON FOR THE FUTURE".
Too my haters, let your hate eat you up but I hope , if you don't, please forgive me for my mistakes. We all make mistakes but I trying to make amendments by helping others and touching others in their life in making a positive impact. Helping others is my soul purpose in life. To the haters, who don't forgive me, I hope this blog haunts your for the rest of your life and my death serves it purpose. I want to start a chain effect. Simply, help one person and pass on the message. Help someone each day even if it's not in a monetary but in a kind gesture.
You live life to help others and hopefully my scorecard when I going down the escalator to hell will help me to burn in hell with the hope I gave redeemed my soul. If not, I have left an impact on this world. Hopefully, my "ghost" will torment my haters and they will realise I tried to redeem myself in every way possible.
To my haters, you may laugh at my demise on a day by day basis, but I will help others until the last moments of my life. This passage sounds like an obituary but it's just my feelings from my heart.
I yet again, bang the floor with my fist and get to live another day.
My story will continue as I promise.........
Too my haters, let your hate eat you up but I hope , if you don't, please forgive me for my mistakes. We all make mistakes but I trying to make amendments by helping others and touching others in their life in making a positive impact. Helping others is my soul purpose in life. To the haters, who don't forgive me, I hope this blog haunts your for the rest of your life and my death serves it purpose. I want to start a chain effect. Simply, help one person and pass on the message. Help someone each day even if it's not in a monetary but in a kind gesture.
You live life to help others and hopefully my scorecard when I going down the escalator to hell will help me to burn in hell with the hope I gave redeemed my soul. If not, I have left an impact on this world. Hopefully, my "ghost" will torment my haters and they will realise I tried to redeem myself in every way possible.
To my haters, you may laugh at my demise on a day by day basis, but I will help others until the last moments of my life. This passage sounds like an obituary but it's just my feelings from my heart.
I yet again, bang the floor with my fist and get to live another day.
My story will continue as I promise.........