I saw a presentation to a group of my students yesterday by a chap who came in to discuss MH and self esteem. Sometimes these things are a bit tedious but he was actually very good. In the short time he was there he seemed to connect with a lot of the kids.
Anyway, one of the things he said I thought was particularly interesting. He talked about how we, particularly through childhood, collect labels which we describe ourselves as. Many of these labels derive from things others have said or done and many of these labels, not only are negative but also false, but we stick these labels on ourselves because we believe this is how we are seen by others.
For me I always had the impression other people thought I was odd. If I said something people would look at me as if I had said something really strange or maybe irrelevant. At home the little comments and side jokes that I was not as clever as my siblings and that I would never really be able to make anything of my life. The shock reactions when I got the grades to go to teacher training college, didn’t think I’d be able to do type of shock. I was always told I didn’t try hard enough or work hard enough, that I was fat, and at times a disappointment an embarrassment. So these are the labels I have:
Odd
Weird
Not good enough
Fat
An embarrassment
This, of course has shaped who I am and how I feel.
The thing is, what to do with these labels, and I suspect this takes time and considerable therapy to address. He talked about reframing those labels from negative to positive, like being odd or different isn’t a negative thing, it is a positive thing. We are all different. Not one person on this entire planet is the same as you. He also talked about getting rid of the ones that aren’t true. Easier said than done, being called fat as left me with lasting body dysmorphia and an eating disorder. But he also said that you can create your own labels. Ones which you know to be true. I find this difficult to do, but I suspect lots of people would. However, if I think carefully I know I am kind and that I care about others. Maybe one day I will be able to find more positive labels for myself but I am wondering what labels you have.
What are the negative labels you have of yourself?
Where did they come from?
Are they true?
Can any of them be reframed?
What labels could you create which are positive about you?
@Acy @MAC0 @dying_inside @seabird @black orchid
Anyway, one of the things he said I thought was particularly interesting. He talked about how we, particularly through childhood, collect labels which we describe ourselves as. Many of these labels derive from things others have said or done and many of these labels, not only are negative but also false, but we stick these labels on ourselves because we believe this is how we are seen by others.
For me I always had the impression other people thought I was odd. If I said something people would look at me as if I had said something really strange or maybe irrelevant. At home the little comments and side jokes that I was not as clever as my siblings and that I would never really be able to make anything of my life. The shock reactions when I got the grades to go to teacher training college, didn’t think I’d be able to do type of shock. I was always told I didn’t try hard enough or work hard enough, that I was fat, and at times a disappointment an embarrassment. So these are the labels I have:
Odd
Weird
Not good enough
Fat
An embarrassment
This, of course has shaped who I am and how I feel.
The thing is, what to do with these labels, and I suspect this takes time and considerable therapy to address. He talked about reframing those labels from negative to positive, like being odd or different isn’t a negative thing, it is a positive thing. We are all different. Not one person on this entire planet is the same as you. He also talked about getting rid of the ones that aren’t true. Easier said than done, being called fat as left me with lasting body dysmorphia and an eating disorder. But he also said that you can create your own labels. Ones which you know to be true. I find this difficult to do, but I suspect lots of people would. However, if I think carefully I know I am kind and that I care about others. Maybe one day I will be able to find more positive labels for myself but I am wondering what labels you have.
What are the negative labels you have of yourself?
Where did they come from?
Are they true?
Can any of them be reframed?
What labels could you create which are positive about you?
@Acy @MAC0 @dying_inside @seabird @black orchid
