What are your reasons to live?
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Hi Mox. It's funny how we read each other's posts but haven't had time to chat. We should fix that, I'd like to chat to you sometime 
You're clearly a very caring guy.
It's a very odd thing to be described as an optimist. That's not how I see myself. Especially lately, but I guess I find it easier to be optimistic when trying to be there for others, but it's not something that comes naturally, or something I can apply to myself. My thread 'please let me die' is pretty pessimistic and probably more the real me. Feel free to take a look.
Take care
Love and hugs x
You're clearly a very caring guy.It's a very odd thing to be described as an optimist. That's not how I see myself. Especially lately, but I guess I find it easier to be optimistic when trying to be there for others, but it's not something that comes naturally, or something I can apply to myself. My thread 'please let me die' is pretty pessimistic and probably more the real me. Feel free to take a look.
Take care
Love and hugs x
Don't know why but my viewpoint has suddenly become long ranged, like trips I want to take, knowing my daughter and friends would miss me, things I want to do. Sure I still plan my suicide but it is suddenly become a distant possibility and although my situation is lonely I know that I have friends both here at SF and IRL.
That's awesome. Nobody expects those suicidal thoughts to disappear overnight. Well maybe somebody does but that person is unrealistic. And they may never completely disappear (although i hope they do). but if you can make those thoughts more distant overtime that's pretty awesome. maybe that's what we should strive for -- finding things to make those thoughts distant and hold on to them.
Reasons to live:
1. My two cats that are my furbabies would be sent to a home that didn't care for them the way that I wish for them to be treated, or to a kill shelter.
2. My family. As much as I dislike them sometimes, I don't want to be the one that adds more garbage into their lives. They have enough to deal with and I have hope that someday they will start their own recovery progress.
3. Martial arts. They give me another goal to strive for, and every class that I go to, I learn something different. The people are positive and uplifting there. They too, are people that I don't wish to hurt.
4. I'll be damned if I leave this planet knowing that there was still something that I could do to make the world a better place. I myself believe that I was saved by a total stranger, and all she did was make eye contact with me and smile. That's it. She acknowledged my existence and that was a moment I treasure. Happened so long ago and I wish I could find her again, but in her honor I try to be the best person that I can be, in hopes that I could be that someone for somebody else.
5. I'll also be damned if I leave this planet in the hands of all the haters, bullies, and all-around idiots that have no remorse for their actions what-so-ever. I rebel with love.
1. My two cats that are my furbabies would be sent to a home that didn't care for them the way that I wish for them to be treated, or to a kill shelter.
2. My family. As much as I dislike them sometimes, I don't want to be the one that adds more garbage into their lives. They have enough to deal with and I have hope that someday they will start their own recovery progress.
3. Martial arts. They give me another goal to strive for, and every class that I go to, I learn something different. The people are positive and uplifting there. They too, are people that I don't wish to hurt.
4. I'll be damned if I leave this planet knowing that there was still something that I could do to make the world a better place. I myself believe that I was saved by a total stranger, and all she did was make eye contact with me and smile. That's it. She acknowledged my existence and that was a moment I treasure. Happened so long ago and I wish I could find her again, but in her honor I try to be the best person that I can be, in hopes that I could be that someone for somebody else.
5. I'll also be damned if I leave this planet in the hands of all the haters, bullies, and all-around idiots that have no remorse for their actions what-so-ever. I rebel with love.
Family. That's pretty much what keeps me here. I don't live for myself. I live to run errands, bring home a paycheck, make sure everyone is ok, make sure people are fed.. shit like that. There's no happiness that hasn't been slurped out of this life it seems but for some reason these people want me around. I do have a lot of happiness in them too, of course. So family - that's the biggest thing.
In that there's also an element of "what would I miss if I were gone", which is saddening to think about. Like, I'd sure like to see my kids get married and have kids and such, get old and have side by side rockers with the wife, yanno? But what will be, will be.
In that there's also an element of "what would I miss if I were gone", which is saddening to think about. Like, I'd sure like to see my kids get married and have kids and such, get old and have side by side rockers with the wife, yanno? But what will be, will be.
I found out my grandkids' other grandpa is rather cold and removed so if I was gone, who in the older generation would love them? I'm gonna see them next week (they're 2500 miles away) and I'm SO excited! I found out today that THEY are excited too. Wow... I would have messed up their lives if I... Well, I'm still here!!
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