What happened to us?

[Doubtfulsoul821]

I cannot drown out the evil in this world forever. I can't rationalise this eternal suffering any longer.

Fundamentally, the cycle of generational and societal trauma that we ALL face, is agonising, and it extends since the beginning of time. When will it end? God when will it end, it reduces me to a nervous breakdown each time.

I've let my younger self down by postponing the inevitable, I can chronically feel her resentment Every. Single. Waking. Moment.
8 years old and desperate to die, but it's been 14 years now. My parents are depressed but won't talk about it because it's against our culture.
Now they fixate on politics, conspiratorial media and the world ending to soothe their conscious of bringing children in to this sick world. They sent me away to be treated as a child and I returned devoid of anything salvageable.

I'm sorry everyone. I'm so sorry. Articulating this anguish is hard personally, it's a bottomless pit of a feeling, a recurrent and pervasive hell.

It just fucking hurts knowing how many people feel the same, what happened to us as mankind to become so numb and so callous to one another? the atrocities against one another, children, animals, the very earth we take for granted.

This life is a heavy burden.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad. I'm glad you're at least about to talk about it here.

Sending hugs

 

[Saffypoiu]

I cannot drown out the evil in this world forever. I can't rationalise this eternal suffering any longer.

Fundamentally, the cycle of generational and societal trauma that we ALL face, is agonising, and it extends since the beginning of time. When will it end? God when will it end, it reduces me to a nervous breakdown each time.

I've let my younger self down by postponing the inevitable, I can chronically feel her resentment Every. Single. Waking. Moment.
8 years old and desperate to die, but it's been 14 years now. My parents are depressed but won't talk about it because it's against our culture.
Now they fixate on politics, conspiratorial media and the world ending to soothe their conscious of bringing children in to this sick world. They sent me away to be treated as a child and I returned devoid of anything salvageable.

I'm sorry everyone. I'm so sorry. Articulating this anguish is hard personally, it's a bottomless pit of a feeling, a recurrent and pervasive hell.

It just fucking hurts knowing how many people feel the same, what happened to us as mankind to become so numb and so callous to one another? the atrocities against one another, children, animals, the very earth we take for granted.

This life is a heavy burden.

Yes, this world is nothing but a cruel predatory system. In nature, animals are constantly killing each other to survive, and in the human world people are exploiting and hurting others in a multitude of different and often horrific ways.
Most Humans are evil at their core to varying degrees. Take away the government, millitary and police force and Humans will revert back to their true nature as savages.
I have hated this world since a very young age, because there is something very wrong here. There is far too much suffering and nothing ever changes, and I am 100% certain that whoever or whatever created Humans and this dreadful world is some kind of sadist.
The sooner I terminate my existence and put myself out of my misery the better, or then again, I may be extremely fortunate and die a peaceful death in my sleep and escape this human flesh prison body forever.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

I have to say that I think humans have been this way throughout our history and nothing "happened" to us.

However I disagree about the numbers. I heard someone say here on SF that their grandfather said 20% of people are good, 20% are bad, and 60% are morally neutral and just living. That sounds right to me.

I also believe that being depressed and suicidal makes us focus on the negatives. Life can be wonderful and amazing. Look at music, for instance. Or art. Or literature. Or science (I don't mean technology, but pure science).

I personally think life is about half and half. And maybe has to be. You have to have as much matter as anti-matter. You have to have balance.

I know that a lot of the joy, hope and optimism I felt as a young child and teenager (even one who was abused) was worth living for. I found my soul mate and sold some stories I'd written. Life can be joyous. But the myth of "happiness" keeps most of us sad. Happiness and joy are fleeting. The goal should perhaps be peace and acceptance. To see the world as it IS rather than the artificially positive view espoused by certain factions, or the artificially negative view seen through the lens of depression.