What if no one really will miss you?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by IdkWhy, Feb 17, 2015.

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  1. IdkWhy

    IdkWhy New Member

    I'm pretty sure there will actually be no people that miss me. Despite what everyone says there are people out there that are truly alone, No family friends or loved ones to speak of, only those who look down on me, at first my only reason for living was so those people don't have a reason to talk shit about me once I'm dead but I'm pretty sure I won't give a fuck if I'm dead
  2. RayM

    RayM New Member

    I need you to understand that is most definitely NOT the case. There are people who will miss you, it is just so much easier to believe that no one will miss you because it makes the decision to disappear easier. People WILL miss you. They will be hurt and they will long to understand. May not make things easier but it is the truth....
  3. sweetles

    sweetles Well-Known Member

    I wonder the same thing.
  4. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    First off :welcome: to SF!

    Secondly, I would like to say that about 7yrs ago if you'd of told me what I'm about to tell you I would have kindly but sarcastically said, "Sure. Ok. Whatever you say." without believing a word of it, so I'll understand if you'll feel the same way.

    It sounds as if those in your life have no appreciation for you, and to be quite honest that's their issue and they're making it yours! They're the one with the attitude problem!!!! That's simply a fact. Now 7yrs ago if you'd of told me there are people out there who would be able to appreciate me for who I am (the good with the bad) I likely would have chuckled (politely) in your face mainly because that's not something I had experienced up till that point in my life, but I'm here to say there ARE people out there who are waiting to meet you, be your friend, and treat you with the respect you deserve!!! It was true for me, and I believe with every ounce of my being it is true for everyone else here too - YOU included!!!

    I totally realize and understand it's a long and lonely road in the meantime, but we're glad to see you here and we'll do our best to support you. This is a great place to start to receive the respect you rightfully deserve, and hope you'll find here as a good source of encouragement!

    All the best!
  5. when

    when Member

    I think about this too. I honestly think it would be cruel if anyone did miss me. How can one feel so alone when you're there but have them miss you when you're gone; it just seems terrible.
  6. kristellechou

    kristellechou Well-Known Member

    I started thinking, actually. You know how we keep getting told that suicide is selfish -- which I get because yes, the people around would grieve one or another. But they move on. They get better eventually, don't they? And, I feel it's better they go through the grief and get better than be stuck with me.

    Anyone with thoughts on this?
  7. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, I'm rowing in the same boat, too.

    Nobody would even know if something were to happen to me.

    I guess in my case, its the consequences of being and isolated/reclusive loner.

    Maybe, we should try to live for ourselves or something, if somebody figures out how to do this, I'm all ears.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2015
  8. kristellechou

    kristellechou Well-Known Member

    I'd like to hear how to do that, too.

    Also, you're totally right. Last night, I was just thinking that if I didn't do it by at the window (I was going to hang myself) my body won't be found for God knows how long.

    I wanted to say maybe we can learn to go and meet new people but I can't ask that of anyone when I'm too scared to even go anywhere farther than a one block radius right now.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    People are going to talk whether you do good or bad. It's not in your hands. I think looking at the full picture will help, make friends with people you trust, put your hand out and reach out to others, it's never too late to make friends. If you went through with it, I think people would be saddened and ridden with guilt.
    Just try your best and keep talking to us here :)
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I would like to answer your question from a Mother who lost a son to suicide!
    No we don't get better, or get over it, or move on....the pain is constant and the only thing that changes is that we get better at hiding it from others!
    My whole family has been devastated by the death of my son! The family is in ruins!
    His Father and I will never be free from pain again!
    His friends still suffer from his loss! 5 years later none of us are better! It has changed us all!
    We are different people from who we were before my son left.
    We will never be the same!

    For me there is the heavy burden of guilt that i didn't do enough to save my son!
    The feeling of rejection that my love for him wasn't enough for him to stay here for!
    The terrible feeling of knowing how much pain he was in because I have felt that pain so much myself, both before and after he left!
    The grief is overwhelming even 5 years later!

    I believe having spoken to others further on this journey of loss, that it never goes away...just gets different!
    I struggle with wanting to leave this world, and staying, so as not to inflict the same pain on those who know me!
    I keep doing all I can to get the help I need, to stay, in the hope that others will not feel this indescribable pain!
    Suicide leaves a different grief than any other loss!
    I Know because I'm 'living' life after suicide loss!

    Take care of yourself and keep reaching out for help! You are worth it!
    There are people out there who will be touched by your loss! Even if you don't think so!
  11. StephenKellyEFC

    StephenKellyEFC Account Closed

    you know what is funny though... you say this is NOT the case.
    Why don't they show love when you are alive then?
  12. sweetles

    sweetles Well-Known Member

    I think for many people, those with a more "normal" life, it is hard to imagine that there are people who have no loved ones and who truly would not be missed. But we exist.

    I have not seen or heard from any relatives in a decade or more. I have no real friends, no one who keeps in touch regularly. Don't know any neighbors. Just go to work, the store, and home alone. When a poster mentioned having to be hanging by a window in order to be found anytime soon, I realized that's a pretty darn good idea. I had always planned to send some kind of timed prerecorded message to emergency services, but now I have another option.
  13. Helen

    Helen New Member

    I am very confused & I can't talk to anyone about this. I have 6 beautiful children & on Friday my husband left & went back abroad where he's from. I didn't think he would actually go but he has. This has really pushed me to the edge I feel like there's a million knives in my heart. I have been depressed from as long as I remember & I know it was selfish to have children but they are here & they are perfect. They were my only reason to keep going even though every day feels like torture now but it's got too much & I really can't go on. It's like them seeing me crying uncontrollably is affecting them. My 2 year old has noticed his dad is gone & so quiet & the guilt of that is too hard. My mum is brilliant with my children & so close to them & I know she would do a better job than me with the children I am a bad mum. But I can't give them up & live without them because that is even harder. I have no choice but to die but I don't want to hurt my children with that, my mum too. Other people some would actually be glad. I have no friends now, I have cousins who would love to hear I am dead & my husband would not even hear about it we on different continents now & I am replacable to him. I am so sorry for you Iv2010 you are right what you say, but for me I've caused nothing but problems for my mum & have no friends left. I have a dad too but he will be more ashamed of me now I am a single mum again. I had a step-dad who cheated on my mum & blamed me for it saying she was too rapped up in my problems she had no time for him. It's very complicated why my cousins hate me so much, aunty, uncle etc but they really do. I know I can't justify my children having to know I killed myself but I really honestly can't go on. I already take medication for the last 15 years now, I've done the counselling, psychologists everything I've tried. Do children ever come through losing a parent like that ? I have thought if I die with carbon monoxide I plan to seal the garage, take some tablets to calm myself to sleep, ask my mum to look after the children say I need to sleep desperately, then I go in the garage & light the camping stove I need to buy. This way when I am found I will look calm & sleeping, & I am so scared of painful ways & I sick out tablets like my body fights against it. Please help me
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