What is wrong with me?!?!!?

[Rukia]

I'm so mad at myself right now. I'm feeling very suicidal, but I can't make myself tell anyone.

Most of my friends have told me to lean on them when ever I need it, but all I can say if they asks is that I'm fine. I'M NOT FINE! Why is that so f** hard to say? :unsure:
There are 9 on my msn right now that I could talk to, who would for sure support me, but I can't do it. :cry:

I guess I'll make it alone this time, like all the other times, but I wish I could learn how show my friends that I'm weak.

Stupid, stupid Rukia!!!

 

[Terry]

Not stupid, huge step letting people know how you're really feeling.

I always try to protect my friends from how bad I'm feeling, not cos I don't think they'd help, but I don't want to worry them. Stupid really cos they'd be a whole lot more upset if I topped myself, than if I just said I was feeling really bad.

Not much help...sorry ... just know how you feel. :hug: :hug:

 

[resistance]

You're not stupid hun, it can be very difficult to step forward and talk to people about your problems. It's good your friends have told you to lean on them. They must care otherwise they wouldn't have offered. Have you thought about maybe sending them an e-mail? If you don't feel comfortable talking face to face to them, or on an instant messenger then you could talk via e-mail until you feel more comfortable. :hug:

 

[Rukia]

Thanks. :smile:

I made myself tell them this summer, but every time they ask me how I feel, I can't stop the lies.
I hate the lies, but I've been wearing the mask for to long.