what parents can do if child is being bullied

L

lost soul

#1
I have found this for what parents can do if their child is getting bullied.

All schools are likely to have some problem with bullying at one time or another. It is essential that your child's school has an anti-bullying policy, and uses it to reduce and prevent bullying, as many schools have already successfully done.

Bullying can include the following:
name calling and teasing

threats and extortion

physical violence

damage to someone's belongings

leaving pupils out of social activities deliberately and frequently

spreading malicious rumours

Bullying by mobile phone text messages or e mail



Parents and families have an important part to play in helping schools deal with bullying

First, discourage your child from using bullying behaviour at home or elsewhere. Show them how to resolve the difficult situations without using violence or aggression.

Second, ask to see the school's anti-bullying policy. All schools should have an anti-bullying policy. It is a document that sets out how the school deals with incidents of bullying. You have a right to know about this policy, which is for parents as much as staff and pupils.

Third,watch out for signs that your child is being bullied, or is bullying others. Parents and families are often the first to detect that a problem exists. Don't dismiss it. Contact the school immediately if you are worried.

Information about what to do
if your child has been bullied
when talking with teachers about bullying
if you are not satisfied
if your child is bullying other children
to stop your child from bullying others

resources for parents and families about bullying
useful organisations that can help


if your child has been bullied calmly talk with your child about his/her experience

make a note of what your child says, particularly who was said to be involved; how often the bullying has occured; where it happened and what has happened

reassure your child that he/she has done he right thing to tell you about the bullying

explain to your child that should any further incidents occur he/she should report them to a teacher immediately

make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form tutor

explain to the teacher the problems your child is experiencing

when talking with teachers about bullying

try to stay calm, bear in mind that the teacher may have no idea that your child is being bullied or may have heard conflicting accounts of an incident

be as specific as possible about what your child says has happened, give dates, places and names of other children involved

make a note of what action the school intends to take

ask if there is anything you can do to help your child of the school

stay in touch with the school; let them know if things improve as well as if problems continue

if you are not satisfied

Families who feel that their concerns are not being addressed appropriately by the school might like to consider the following steps:

check with the school anti-bullying policy to see if agreed proceedures are being followed

discuss your concerns with the parent governor or other parents

make an appointment to discuss the matter with the Headteacher; keep a record of the meeting

if this does not help, write to the Chair of governors explaining your concerns and what you would like to see happening

contact the director of education for your authority; the authority will be able to ensure that the Governors respond to your concerns

If you need further support and information at any stage or the problem remains unresolved, ring the helpline at Parentline plus (see Organisations that can help) or other local and national support groups.

if your child is bullying other childrens

Many children may be involved in bullying other pupils at some time or other. Often parents are not aware that their child is involved in bullying.

Children sometimes bully others because

they don't know it's wrong

they are copying older brothers or sisters or other people in the family whom they admire

they haven't learnt other, better ways of mixing with their school friends

their friends encourage them to bully

they are going through a difficult time and are acting out aggressive feelings

to stop your child from bullying others

talk with your child; explain that what he or she is doing is unacceptable and makes other children unhappy

discourage other members of your family from bullying behaviour or from using aggression or force to get what they want

show your child how he/she can join in with other children without bullying

make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form tutor; explain to the teacher the problems your child is experiencing; discuss with the teacher how you and the school can stop him or her bullying others

regularly check with your child how things are going at school

give your child lots of praise and encouragement when he or she is co-operative or kind to other people

Bullying by mobile phone text messages or e mail

If your child experiences these kinds of bullying, a parent can

complain to child's teacher

ensure the child is careful about who they give their mobile phone number or e mail address to

check exactly when a threatening message was sent

when necessary, report incidents to the police

Resources for parents and families about bullying

ALEXANDER, JYour child bullying: Practical and easy to follow advice
Element Books (1998)

ELLIOTT, M101 Ways to deal with bullying, A guide for parents
Stoughton (1997)

KIDSCAPEKeeping safe: A practical guide to talking with children
Kidscape, 152 Buckingham palace Road, London SW1W 9TR (1990)

LAWSON, SHelping children cope with bullying
Sheldon Press (1994)

LINDENFIELD, GConfident children: A parents' guide to helping children feel good
Thorsens (1994)

MELLOR, ABullying and how to fight it: A guide for families
Scottish Council for research in Education, 15 St John Street, Edinburgh EH5 5JR (1993)

PEARCE, JFighting, teasing and bullying: Simple and effective ways to help your child
Wellingborough: Thorsons (1989)

TRAIN,
AThe bullying problem: How to deal with difficult children.
Condor Book, Souvenir Press (1995)

useful organisations that can help

Advisory Centre for Education
1c Aberdeen Studios, 22 Highbury Grove, London N5 2DQ
Tel helpline: 0207 354 8321 (Mon-Fri 2-5pm)
Advice line for parents on all matters concerning schools

Anti Bullying Campaign
185 Tower Bridge Road, London SE1 2UF
Tel: 0207 378 1446 (9.30am-5.00pm)
Advice line for parents and children

Children's Legal centre
Tel: 01206 873 820
(Mon-Fri 10am-12.30pm and 2pm-4.30pm)
Publications and free advice line on legal issues

Kidscape
2 Grosvenor Gardens, London SW1W 0DH
Tel: 0207 730 3300 Fax: 0207 730 7081
Has a wide range of publications for young people, parents and teachers.
Bullying counsellor available Monday to Friday 10-4

Parentline Plus
520 Highgate Studios, 53-79 Highgate Road, Kentish Town, London NW5 1TL
Tel: 0808 800 2222(24 hours)
 

Ignored

Staff Alumni
#3
That's brilliant... I've just emailed it to my sister as my niece is being bullied and has been avoiding school (school is doing sod all!! :mad: ) so these organisations might be able to help.
Thanks!
Sarah
 
#7
If parents are the main cause, then tell someone else that you trust, like say, an aunt, uncle, teacher, friend... etc. Or in a really extreme case, then the police would prolly be an idea too. Helplines are another good one, if you really dont wanna talk to someone you know personally. Hope that helps.

TDM
 

colt45

Well-Known Member
#8
Sometimes it is not easy for kids to admit. They feel like they have to endure the pain.

I tryed to keep everything to myself bu focusing on my studies, and just waned to be alone.

If your child seems withdrawn from aspect of contactw with friends and family it it a sign of pain.

The pain that can not be seen can be deeper than we realize
 

colt45

Well-Known Member
#9
Sometimes it is not easy for kids to admit. They feel like they have to endure the pain.

I tryed to keep everything to myself bu focusing on my studies, and just waned to be alone.

If your child seems withdrawn from aspect of contactw with friends and family it it a sign of pain.

The pain that can not be seen can be deeper than we realize
I know to becase that happenned to me alot in late elementry all the way up to high school.
 
#10
my school never did anything when this girl was threatening my life and then when another girl was doing the same they just talked to her and told her to stop. and if we wanted something done to go to the cops and they said they cant do anything unless she was to hit me and someone seen it.
 
#12
When i was bullied at school my headtecher actually accused me of being the bully because wait for it " the bullys family was more wealthy than mine meaning she had better morals!"

I skipped school for months, i had an education welfare offiver visit me numerous times threatening my parents with court if i did not attend school. In the end they called his bluff afterall they had done everything roght. They had raised meeting with my head of year and the headteacher. Had made me attend "mediation" meetings ( more like hell that mediation) yet the school did nothing. It was until i still refused to go to school and let my mom and dad face court that they realised i wasn't lying. After several months of trying to convince me to swap schools with i refused, i mean i have no confidence at all and you want to stick me in one of the roughest schools in the area on top of that i wasn't the one in the wrong then why on earth should i move schools? My parents managed to get the school to agree to me having 2 1hour home lessons. If you know that your child is being bullied and nobody is listening then keep pushing, never give up. Don't let anyone threaten you with courts etc it happens in thier schools so it is them that need to ensure everything is put into place to make that child want to go back to school
 

Izziebabystar

Well-Known Member
#14
thanks for this info my 6 year old is being bullied really badly at school to the point she cut up her school uniform and has started making herself sick in the mornings to get out of going :(
 

Fairlady300zx

Well-Known Member
#15
Bullies in my experience need to feel ehat it's like as they say put the shoe on the other foot. And as for parents doing the bullying to your child ( the same but harder) I know lots of you won't agree. I've done loads of stupid stuff in my time but people who bully, pick one the weak etc deserve everything that comes around.
 

teeboy68

Well-Known Member
#16
I got horrendously bullied at the all boys school I went to. I just didn't feel like I could tell anyone. Please anyone that has children that are being bullied get them to open up about it, and contact the school too, and hopefully they can do something about it. It was rife at my school, and it ruins the lives of the victims.
 

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