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What. The. Hell. Happened?


Gone with the wind
This may be a bit long but I'd like to hear someone's thoughts on this...

Happened a day before yesterday.


Drugs, if it's important: I'm on Cymbalta 60mg 1x daily for pain management (migraines) and depression, although I think if anything it's creating a feedback loop instead of making it better. I also took 2x Panadol 500mg with caffeine 65mg, 2x Pregabalin 75mg, and a teaspoon of cough drops.

Background of the last few weeks:

In my already friggin insane life, the last couple weeks have been particularly insane. I don't wanna get into details, but I've been to ER with a migraine attack, had my life turned over, lost basically any appetite whatsoever, could barely sleep, and have problems with heating in my place so I either shiver with cold or sweat from the extremely dry heat. I also got a flu with a crapton of phlegm in my throat, making it difficult to breath or catch my breath after walking just a short distance, or drink so I wouldn't throw up.

Finally, day before yesterday:

With all this shit going on, my blood pressure would go through the roof (it tends to be OK otherwise) - I couldn't measure it but I could literally feel it all over my body, with fast heart beat. When I got up, I first had to deal with the phlegm in my throat which took hours to clear before I could drink anything.

I took the drugs described above, made psyllium tea and did some breathing exercises to calm myself down and ease some tension in my neck which was threatening to start another migraine episode.

Well, I still felt like crap when I got a few more triggers which then broke the camel's back and started the avalanche.


I started to shake like crazy and needed to calm down but didn't have anything. I tried to relieve some of the pressure by playing an action videogame but eventually it was too much.

At that point I broke down and started having all sorts of spasms all over my body. Stretching (almost) uncontrollably, later also crying, almost loudly. Somehow I moved myself to bed where it went on.

During that time I was also experiencing weird dream/hallucinations - I tend to have pretty strange yet specific dreams, and this was just that on steroids.

All this time I was also completely aware of myself: I could see myself from a 3rd person perspective, stretching my muscles all over. I felt like I could stop at any moment if I'd want to so it wasn't all uncontrollable, it would just need a bit of efford to break the inertia. None of it was random - the whole experience actually felt very structured.

But I didn't want to stop - it felt good, like a combination of stretching exercises and taking a dump. No pain, just slight discomfort. I could literally feel and picture myself excreting some black tar out of my back and butt, I guess symbolising all my built up tension or something... You get the point. I could almost hear a voice telling me to let it run its course, that it's good.

So, it was going like that for probably 2 to 3 hours and after that I fell asleep. What a dang drug trip without drugs. I woke up shortly afterwards, quite a bit shaken but also feeling quite well, with (some of) the heavy burden having been taken away.

Later yet I fell asleep like a baby for about 12 hours and when I woke up...

And I felt... Good? No. Pain. Whatsoever. Completely free and easy breathing. I haven't felt like that for decades probably, if not for the first time ever. Understand, for years I've been in constant daily pain of 4-7/10. I could not imagine what zero pain feels like (even after a really good IV drip it would be a 1/10 at best). I felt like a being of pure energy, it was such an alien feeling.

Well it lasted only a few hours after which I got a massive migraine attack - fortunately I managed to deal with it and fight it of. And today I woke up with no pain again. It's incredible. Let's see how it goes.

Now the obvious question of someone inquisitive like me - WHAT IN THE FLYING F*** WAS THAT? How could I have such a drug trip (virtually) without drugs?

How can a complete meltdown have such an ultimately healing effect?

Sure, I understand the brain/mind have all kinds of capabilities to fix the problems of the body, but I've never heard about something this extreme, outside of fiction (like, romance and cartoons level fiction).

So, what was it? What's this phenomenon called? How come the body can cleanse itself like this? I try to live a mostly healthy lifestyle, I do my stretches and minor exercises and breathing excs. etc... One would thing those would work over time by themselves.

Also, this is sort of a reverse of my NDE experience from last year... (I wrote about it here https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...-by-natural-causes.155657/page-2#post-1843012 , 2nd half of my comment.) Ever since then I've felt like I'm possibly dead or stuck in some sort of a limbo between life and death. Well, looks like time has been passing normally since then so... Back to the land of the living I guess.

Btw I have a shrink apt. tomorrow so of course I'm going to ask about it.


SF Supporter
Have you ever heard of the polyvagal theory? Some of the things you describe remind me of things I have heard (on podcasts)/read related to the theory.

The sort of muscle spasms you describe remind me of the way I've heard people describe animals "releasing trauma" so for example, a dog who was rescued from a house fire may shake uncontrollably for a period of time after the immediate fire situation has been dealt with (i.e. after the dog escapes with its life). From my understanding, the dogs shaking serves to allow the dog's body (and perhaps brain?) to process the events (trauma?) of the fire and move past them without "carrying the memory" of all the horrible experiences of being trapped in the house fire where survival was not certain before being rescued.

I definitely don't intend to say I'm right about what you've experienced, just something that popped into my head. I thought it was very interesting to read about your experience. You also asked what this would be called, and I believe I've heard the term ls "ventral vagal release" or "somatic release" or "somatic experience" used in relation to this idea. I mention the terms as it might help if you're interested in doing some more research/exploration of your own. I hope you continue to feel well also.


Gone with the wind
Update. My shrink said this isn't a mental issue but certainly a neurology issue.

Which is what I've been saying for years but anyway.

Yes now that I think about it, this experience I had this weekend is certainly more akin to an epileptic seizure than anything else, and my migraines would indicate that too.

Thoughts anyone?


SF Supporter
Update. My shrink said this isn't a mental issue but certainly a neurology issue.

Which is what I've been saying for years but anyway.

Yes now that I think about it, this experience I had this weekend is certainly more akin to an epileptic seizure than anything else, and my migraines would indicate that too.

Thoughts anyone?
oh, that sounds concerning. I've not heard of similar situations that I can recall. I certainly hope you seek further medical advice and get some resolutions soon though.


SF Supporter
ah, damn that really sucks. definitely a good idea to get a new one if this one doesn't seem to work well with you. i think sometimes doctors forget/lose sight that they are supposed to work with/for patients.

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