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What to do about this situation

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

A really bad person
SF Supporter
#1
My nephew told us that this kid is bullying him on the bus. Basically he said the kid hits him, chokes him, and threatens him with more violence if he tells on him. They're both in the same grade, and they aren't in the same class, but I don't know what rules there are on the bus about bullying. Some people say to fight back, or tell someone...but when I was in school, even some of the teachers were in on the bullying, so it's hard to know who to trust. What is the best method of dealing with a bully effectively? My sister and I were both bullied, I didn't want this for my nephew but it's happening and I want it to stop so he won't be hurt anymore.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Here in the UK schools have the power to act if the bullying happens on the way to and from school, but idk if this applies in your case.

Can someone go on the school bus with him? Or, you could ask the driver to keep a look out, or write to the firm that runs the bus.
 

holdingon

Punched in the head
#5
My first port of call would be the school principal. It's the principal's responsibility to ensure a safe environment for students, even in transit to and from the school, the school has a duty of care to the students, particularly given that the bully is also a student.

Maybe your nephew could sit near the driver, or you could give him an attack alarm to alert the driver.
Yes, I think having him sit near the driver is an excellent idea.

I would also suggest that if your nephew has a friend with a phone, that the friend should film any future incidents so that the bully cannot lie their way out of the situation when their actions are there on camera for all to see.
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

A really bad person
SF Supporter
#6
I thought this kid was older and maybe more intimidating...well I asked him and he said "he's only 5"...so they're the same age. And I don't know if this is learned behavior or what, but seriously, a kid in kindergarten choking other kids is pretty damned aggressive. Not ok by any stretch of the imagination.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#7
Schools tell victims of bullying not to hit back, but this is ridiculous if they don't do anything to stop the bullying - as if the victim is expected to just stand there and let himself be choked and punched etc. Schools do have a duty of care, but unless you've got evidence, they might turn a blind eye instead of monitoring the situation.
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

A really bad person
SF Supporter
#8
Schools tell victims of bullying not to hit back, but this is ridiculous if they don't do anything to stop the bullying - as if the victim is expected to just stand there and let himself be choked and punched etc. Schools do have a duty of care, but unless you've got evidence, they might turn a blind eye instead of monitoring the situation.
Yeah, I never fought back, but I was too scared to really do anything. And sometimes even when they do know of the situation, they think it's not that serious. I was bullied so badly I almost dropped out of school, but one teacher said it's just teasing, everyone goes through it, but that's not true.
 

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#15
Is it a bus only with kids or just a regular bus? I guess they wouldn't do it in front of other adults, but then I shouldn't really be surprised by people anymore. If it was my kid, I'd probably drive him to school and tell him to avoid being alone. I mean, personally when I was afraid of other kids, I remember sitting by myself somewhere not too far from the teachers in the playground for example.
But I know it doesn't solve the issue, I think what you can do depends on the school, the teachers, etc. How smart they are. I honestly doubt a bus driver would never notice what is happening in his bus.
I'm really sorry they're doing that to your little nephew. :(
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

A really bad person
SF Supporter
#16
There's not many male figures in my family at all. I've mentioned it before but they're only in kindergarten, so I'm not sure what approach would be the best here.
Yeah, it's a bus only with kids. I don't know what will resolve the situation.
 

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#17
There's not many male figures in my family at all. I've mentioned it before but they're only in kindergarten, so I'm not sure what approach would be the best here.
Yeah, it's a bus only with kids. I don't know what will resolve the situation.
I don't think it requires a male figure. Okay, if it's like one of these yellow busses in movies, I get it, perhaps there are no seats left in the front. I guess you should try to talk to any adult and find one who is reasonable enough to do something about it, the bus driver (unlikely), a teacher, the principal...
 

MarvelFan

Vanity of Vanities
#18
I dont advice this because it can me jail time but my dad got to the point where he was sick of people beating me up and bullying me and threatened the parents of my bullies that they need to stop them or the police or him will.
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#19
My nephew told us that this kid is bullying him on the bus. Basically he said the kid hits him, chokes him, and threatens him with more violence if he tells on him. They're both in the same grade, and they aren't in the same class, but I don't know what rules there are on the bus about bullying. Some people say to fight back, or tell someone...but when I was in school, even some of the teachers were in on the bullying, so it's hard to know who to trust. What is the best method of dealing with a bully effectively? My sister and I were both bullied, I didn't want this for my nephew but it's happening and I want it to stop so he won't be hurt anymore.
Honestly, I think the best way is to fight back, but only if you're defending yourself (meaning, don't start any physical altercations first until they make the first move). It lets the bully know that you won't let anyone fuck with you, and lets everyone else witnessing it know the same. If you defend yourself, they'll stop because bullies only go after people they think are vulnerable and won't do anything about it. Telling an adult or school staff member usually doesn't work and may even make things worse because then you get a reputation of A.) being a rat and B.) not being able to fight your own battles, which only confirms that you're someone vulnerable to be fucked with.

I, personally, was only bullied verbally and emotionally, not physically. But I kept my mouth shut and just turned the other cheek every time, and it kept happening and happening because of that. When it's verbal and emotional abuse, don't start anything physical, but make sure you stand up for yourself verbally and be assertive about it.
 

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