what to do after high school?

[serena]

so I am finally graduating high school this week after 5 years. I am supposed to attend a college far away from home in 2 months. I'm scared, feel completely unprepared, and part of me just doesn't want to go. I don't feel I can consistently do anything without a tremendous amount of support. My family probably can't afford any expensive programs (most range from $1000+ a night). I feel like my life is a dead end and I don't know what to do. I have borderline personality disorder,depression,gad, and learning disabilities and have been in treatment for over 5 years so I don't expect significant improvement anytime soon. So what do I do now? I've been trying to take a writing class at community college but even that is too much and triggers suicidal thoughts, etc. I know there is "get a job!" and i've had a part job for a few years but its ending and I don't feel healthy enough to work a lot of hours. I also believe I will become more depressed if I miss the whole college experience. I'm at a lost of what to do.

Any advice on my options??

 

[sha8811]

I struggled a bit with this at the time. I ended up going straight to college, worked my butt off for four years, then not so luckily graduated in a time with a bad economy where I haven't been able to land a job. My suggestion for you, which I know is very difficult with GAD, but is to travel a bit before college. Honestly, try to plan out a comfortable route for you to travel for a year then go to college. This way you will learn more about yourself, find your true passion, and know that you can be independent during school. I wish I had done this! But if that is too much for you, try going to a lower costing college, figuring out what it is you love and go from there. Good Luck.

 

[LoveBeing]

Hi serena,

I like your name by the way

Congrats on your graduation from high school! Don’t think too much about the future. Make it your habit to do what you can at each given moment. Life is simple and easier this way. The fact is, all we have is always “now”; when future comes, we experience the “future” as “now”…

You’ve already been able to get a part-time job for a few years. With your graduation and additional education, it’s more likely you will be able to get a job again if you stay open…

I suggest that you start to see yourself going to the college you are supposed to attend in 2 months - start to prepare yourself in this direction. When it’s time, see how you feel. If you do go to the college, see if you can handle it okay then. You can always make some adjustments/change the plan when necessary based on the actual situation…

Just remember - one step at a time…always “this moment”…

Wish you well! :hug:

 

[Craig]

Get a crazy awsome job that sends you to a random ass place. Help starving people in Africa or train some wolves in Russia. Join the Coast Guard and ride around in boats for 4 years so you can get a free ride through college. Take a crazy road trip through the states and do a lot of partying.

Live life and enjoy it. You have the world in front of you right now.

 

[serena]

Thank you all for great advice. I have been thinking about trying to defer and taking a gap year to continue in therapy then travel but I'm worried that doing so is just a way of avoiding my fears. I'm also concerned I'll have a harder time finding a peer group if I start college at age 20 which will be the case if I take a year off.

LoveBeing - Staying in the present moment is important. Its hard for me to find the balance between talking about it/planning for success and worrying excessively.

I am so anxious for my orientation next week but I hope it will help me to decide if going to college in August is what I really want. But anxiety sucks so bad...