When your identical half dies

[Windhover]

 

[may71]

I am not good

That's not true. You are good. You've done a huge amount to try to help others, including your sister. You're just blaming yourself unfairly. Imagining that you could have rescued your sister is part of the way you are grieving her loss. I hope you can make a transition to a less self-depricating way of grieving.

Hugs TE

 

[total eclipse]

Oh God why her why dam it why take her too oh God you must really hate me you take everyone away even my twin you couldn't leave her why I can't forgive me I am nothing nothing without her hate me so much for failing her

 

[may71]

You didn't fail her TE. You're imagining that things would have been different and better if you had done something, but I don't think that's true.

Please be gentle with yourself.

Sending hugs.

 

[total eclipse]

Make it stop make it all next st go away

 

[MisterBGone]

Make it stop make it all next st go away

Oh, these emojis stink! I'll have to wait until I return to my phone later on. . . (if I can remember!)! Sorry V. :/

 

[MisterBGone]

Ok called doctors office again secretary said call back Monday after I told her I called over a week ago noone returned my call she says sorry did not notice that call. Yah so why leave a msg then. That was on March 10 or 13 then today now told to call Mon as dr not in. I tried ok I'm tired my hsb was there when I called both times t is saved to my phone outgoing calls I tried ok tried.i don't want to try anymore

Welcome to modern medicine--& how it is run...

 

[MisterBGone]

Saw my general doctor says don't look so sad I try not to test cannot find why I am having so much pain more test he orders took my BP and heart pill tonight having alot chest pain I'm sure it is because of losing her. Every day I look for her dam our bday coming soon dear god I simply cannot do this

Who is he, or she, to judge? ...& tell you how you should, or shouldn't look or feel? "Bleep-'em!" ;/

 

[MisterBGone]

The dr judged her pass saw her unworthy to fight for omg and really chose to let her die and I didn't realize until it was to late I did not fight hard enough to get the same dr to get her too keep my twin alive. Neglect from her GP she called and called him told him her wound was septic she drive there he refused to see her he did not follow up with her care and she died if sepsis and congested heart failure both treatable but noone would listen or help her. The nurse who was ti dress the wound said she was not coming 3 times a week to dress a dam wound her words she should never have died never. Neglect from all around killed her. I should have taken her up hare with me got her to a different hospital one where they would have treated her with respect omg I failed her I failed her too

This is UN-BELIEVABLE! . . . And, a travesty as well as a tragedy, te~
I'm sorry: I just don't know what more to say? I am, "speech-less!"
(in all of this)

 

[MisterBGone]

It's too hard tommorrow she will not be here in our bday so dam alone and sad dam it m Dam dam dam me

It's just not right. It's just not fair. And it's just not right.

 

[MisterBGone]

I can't go in my heart is shutting down CHF put on meds but stopped them why prolong it.

Goodness... &; goodness...

 

[may71]

I'm sorry you're in so much pain Total Eclipse. I'm wishing for some comfort to come to you soon.

 

[1Lefty]

Hi @total eclipse

Wishing you strength on this day
I'm sorry

peace

 

[total eclipse]

Tears fall they won't take this pain away omg still dealing with all the legal stuff getting mail in your name. Just sets me off again. Oh breath they say breath I can't sis you took me away you had to have known I would die too. Oh god another day gotten through I'm fff list here without you . Drs checking out the heart again I can barely breath chest x-ray fine as well. Blood work again I'm dying of a 💔 it's a really medical thing . We were interconnected us two then torn so fff to pieces by a ass who thought you were not a person omg you had a heart of gold helping all the poor the old too far above her holy ass if an attitude. I'm sorry did I'm so dam sorry I was never as strong as you I always his coward down you always took up the fight I don't know how to fight now I don't. You were my fighter you kept me safe I am not able to forgive me for all their deaths I am a noone sis I need you I need you God I need you. Sorry just my mind oh I'm so sorry did so sorry No need to respond I know I'm stuck and actually drowning in this very dark place .

 

[Windhover]

Reading your post, letting you know I'm here.

 

[1Lefty]

I'm sorry

a hug if you want one
(((hug)))

peace

 

[may71]

Hugs Total Eclipse

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Hi there @total eclipse ,
I am sorry for your loss. I wish I had something that would ease your pain & burdens.
I hope you can find moments and memories that bring you comfort.
We will listen when ever you need us. Keep sharing- ((((hugs))))

 

[total eclipse]

Sorry Sis so sorry

 

[may71]

Hugs Total Eclipse. Please be gentle with yourself