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why do people get your expectations up and then disappoint you

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sassy123

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#1
So I was really excited to meet up with someone for the first time today the person kept on talking about things and getting me all excited about meeting up what we would do how things would go and I was like yes even if things don't work out between us and I was keeping things on the down low. It was going to be a wonderful time an adventure to remember and then the other person is a no show and now I cant stop crying I hate this feeling and then I felt like a losers on top of everything waiting for the person to show up and slowly coming to the realization that they were not going to come. Why build me up and get up my expectations and then not show up why hurt someone that way give them something to look forward to doing give them something to give them hope of having an amazing time that you can remember for the rest of your life. Then No words no nothing it hurts last thing I heard we were on and then silence ever since no communication from them whatsoever. Why if you didn't want to get together did you even ask me out or if plans had to change why didn't you let me know I would have understood this hurts so bad. So now I get to sit here and cry and feel worse then ever so lonely stupid and worthless. I am so sick of being hurt by people. I am so sick of life's disappointments. I just wanted to have something fun and nice happen to me for a change why make me feel this way I would have better off never having the expectation that to be brought so low now. I am so gosh darn hurt I knew I was going to get myself hurt why did I leave myself open to be hurt again. I should never put myself out there again all it does is lead to heartache and disappointment and I just cant bear this feeling of hurt I hate being hurt over and over again. You sent me to the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. I don't need a long term relationship or any real relationship if things just hadn't worked out that would have been fine but this just kills me with hurt.
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#2
Sorry you are hurting sassy. I guess it is human nature to hope even against all experience and logic. We can't stop hoping. You will hope again.
 
#4
Sassy, that guy doesn't know what he missed out on. You are an amazing lady (and you saved my life to boot), there's nothing wrong with you. Yes, it hurts and I understand, but don't let it stop you from enjoying the future. This dude obviously is not even in your league and you have yet to meet one who is just right for you. Go ahead and cry out your frustrations and rage, then look in the mirror and tell yourself "I deserve the BEST".

THEN CALL ME! :D LOL

Hugs and prayers
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
What a rotten move he/she pulled. Catfishing is too common when doing those online things. Too many reasons why but I do sincerely hope you do find someone who will treat you like a Queen sooner than later.

Take Care
 

Shorty92

Well-Known Member
#7
Sassy your a lovely person. They are the one who missed out. You did a good brave thing putting yourself out there. They are the loser who was too much of a wimp to show. Don't let one individuals actions affect how you look at others. Hugs.
 

sassy123

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#9
What a rotten move he/she pulled. Catfishing is too common when doing those online things. Too many reasons why but I do sincerely hope you do find someone who will treat you like a Queen sooner than later.

Take Care
I guess people don't always care about you the way they say. Thanks I would love to find someone I just don't know if I will or should even try
 

sassy123

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#10
Sassy your a lovely person. They are the one who missed out. You did a good brave thing putting yourself out there. They are the loser who was too much of a wimp to show. Don't let one individuals actions affect how you look at others. Hugs.
Yes I know I shouldn't but I need to learn to protect myself more. I feel so hurt I am still trying to heal from my ex I know there are good guys out there I just don't know if there are any for me
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Staff member
ADMIN
#13
@sassy123 - I don't know why people do that. One of my theories is they are just dimwits and don't care about others and they play things along for a while. Really nasty folks. I hope there aren't many who are like that. You sure didn't deserve it! My other theory is that maybe they honestly thought they could get out and meet up with you. And then they got scared 0r nervous because of their own baggage, and they let you down. And themselves, too, because they missed out on meeting you, and they have to live with themselves as being the sort who would let someone down.

There are good people in the world. I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences. I hope that when the right experience comes along, it is just that much better because you can say, "Wow, this is so wonderful and not like the one who was a no show."

Bad manners and not even calling is about the other person, not about you, Sassy. You were the one who showed up and hoped, in good faith, that the person would meet you. You deserve better than you got. Keep looking because you do deserve it! *hug*
 

sassy123

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Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#14
Thanks Acy no one should ever have to go through this. Especially when we know no one ever without there smartphone. Someday hopefully someone will treat me well hugs
 
#15
I guess people don't always care about you the way they say. Thanks I would love to find someone I just don't know if I will or should even try
Yes I know I shouldn't but I need to learn to protect myself more. I feel so hurt I am still trying to heal from my ex I know there are good guys out there I just don't know if there are any for me
Girl, do you remember chats that you have had with me on this very thing? I do. I'll paraphrase: There is someone out there for you. You will meet someone who will make you happy beyond your imagination. Give it some time, it will happen.

I said before, you are a lovely, sweet person; it's his loss. Your disappointment without a doubt, but he lost bigger here than you did. You missed out on a date but he lost out on getting to know you.

So here's a big hug as I help you get back on the horse. You're strong and you're gonna be fine hun.
 

Shush

Well-Known Member
#16
Oh Sassy
You really did not deserve that kind of treatment. But if someone was willing to do that to you, he did you a favor Better to show his true scummy self now than after starting a relationship. It hurts now, I get it, But this really says so much about his true character and personality. He does not deserve your attention, (((hugs)))
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#19
Hi sassy, the exact same thing happened to me about a year ago, we were going to meet up for a meal and she backed out at the last second and I was very hurt like you are now but I have come to the realisation that most people are not like that and wouldn't treat another person like that.

I should never put myself out there again
You SHOULD put yourself out there again, do not let one bad incident become the reason you don't progress further. Please try something like this again. I must say it was very cruel of them to do that to you. You didn't deserve it.

(hugs)
 
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