im tired of holding on just to see everything get worse.... i just want to leave forever so i don't have to be around seeing everything get worse... my life wont get better it hasn't in a long long time and im ready to die... i just hope something kills me because im to afraid to do it myself..... i fail at everything i do and people don't accept how i am around here (told a friend im suicidal and depressed now she wont talk to me) so why should i hold on?????
why hold on?
- Thread starter John6491
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Hey John, hang in there.
During a particularly tough time, I confided in two seperate 'friends' about my mental issues. They had always said 'I'm your friend, you can tell me anything, it doesn't matter what it is, I won't judge you, I'll be here for you'....- Friends forever and all that. They immediately pulled away, and the r'ships fizzled out within a short time. Rejection like this is equivalent to a knife in the soul. It shows that those people aren't mature yet. Baring ones soul is always a risky business.
It's no surprise you're scared about killing yourself. I am too. That's your true inner voice trying to galvanise you in to rising up and fighting these self destructive ways. And you can do it. All the best.
During a particularly tough time, I confided in two seperate 'friends' about my mental issues. They had always said 'I'm your friend, you can tell me anything, it doesn't matter what it is, I won't judge you, I'll be here for you'....- Friends forever and all that. They immediately pulled away, and the r'ships fizzled out within a short time. Rejection like this is equivalent to a knife in the soul. It shows that those people aren't mature yet. Baring ones soul is always a risky business.
It's no surprise you're scared about killing yourself. I am too. That's your true inner voice trying to galvanise you in to rising up and fighting these self destructive ways. And you can do it. All the best.
So I'm not the only one, huh? I've been confiding in a friend/relative for the past 9-10 months about my depression and she's provided me with a lot of support. But I too noticed that since a few months ago she has pulled away and the only thing I can remember being different is that I mentioned that I wanted to leave this world. But now I regret that. She's still shows me some compassion (and I'll take these little bits as I get it), but only when I ask for it, and somehow comes across as if she's obligated to check up on me.
But I can't completely understand why someone would do this. In some ways I expect that these people (friends and non-professionals who support us) have no idea how to deal with this, but don't want to tell us directly. On the other hand, I had a cousin commit suicide some years ago and just prior to that, she had been emailing me with many deep questions such as if I understand the meaning of life and what our purpose is here, etc. I never placed her as depressed and never saw anything suicidal coming, but had that thought crossed my mind, I would've done anything possible to support her and prevent it. We're all different I guess.
But I can't completely understand why someone would do this. In some ways I expect that these people (friends and non-professionals who support us) have no idea how to deal with this, but don't want to tell us directly. On the other hand, I had a cousin commit suicide some years ago and just prior to that, she had been emailing me with many deep questions such as if I understand the meaning of life and what our purpose is here, etc. I never placed her as depressed and never saw anything suicidal coming, but had that thought crossed my mind, I would've done anything possible to support her and prevent it. We're all different I guess.
Death is part of the cycle of life my friend. All will go sooner or later.
You should try to keep living for yourself. Family is great, but if they are your entire existence that will cause problems. You need to go off and lead your own life.
Just hold out faith that maybe one day you will trip and fall into something good. I know you cannot hold that faith forever but only a little longer ok.
You should try to keep living for yourself. Family is great, but if they are your entire existence that will cause problems. You need to go off and lead your own life.
Just hold out faith that maybe one day you will trip and fall into something good. I know you cannot hold that faith forever but only a little longer ok.
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