Words cannot describe the sadness and despair i feel

[iloverachel]

I don't know how to properly describe the depths or level of sadness I feel

This isn't the type of sadness that I can brush off with a distraction or something I can sleep off for a few hours and feel better. It is a gloomy, cloud of darkness that has been lingering for many years.

Some days the waves of sadness lifts slightly, I feel a bit better and finally have hope, only for it to be crushed by another tsunami of sadness twice as big

Depression has affected every aspect of my life, made me lose jobs, made me lose my closest friends, made me lose interest in all my hobbies, and led me to a vicious cycle of self hate.

It's 4am And I cannot sleep because I am tortured by my own mind, and I am afraid of the constant nightmares and afraid of facing another day of this HELL. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't take life to be granted and should appreciate it more but that's the only way I can describe life right now, he'll, prison and torture

Thanks for listening to my miserable pointless rant

 

[sadhart]

I don't know how to properly describe the depths or level of sadness I feel

This isn't the type of sadness that I can brush off with a distraction or something I can sleep off for a few hours and feel better. It is a gloomy, cloud of darkness that has been lingering for many years.

Some days the waves of sadness lifts slightly, I feel a bit better and finally have hope, only for it to be crushed by another tsunami of sadness twice as big

Depression has affected every aspect of my life, made me lose jobs, made me lose my closest friends, made me lose interest in all my hobbies, and led me to a vicious cycle of self hate.

It's 4am And I cannot sleep because I am tortured by my own mind, and I am afraid of the constant nightmares and afraid of facing another day of this HELL. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't take life to be granted and should appreciate it more but that's the only way I can describe life right now, he'll, prison and torture

Thanks for listening to my miserable pointless rant

This isn't a pointless rant, and I think the words you used describes this kind of sadness and pain well. Some people think a walk or a hobby can make this type of pain go away. And it may to some extent, but what they fail to realize is how it can linger for so long to the point where feeling sad and hopeless just feel like default feelings.

Sorry, I know that isn't exactly encouraging. But I am trying to say that I can very much relate to what you said.

 

[iloverachel]

This isn't a pointless rant, and I think the words you used describes this kind of sadness and pain well. Some people think a walk or a hobby can make this type of pain go away. And it may to some extent, but what they fail to realize is how it can linger for so long to the point where feeling sad and hopeless just feel like default feelings.

Sorry, I know that isn't exactly encouraging. But I am trying to say that I can very much relate to what you said.

Thanks for the response
Yeah being sad anxious and alone is pretty much my default feeling too from the moment I wake up
I've gotten so used to being sad that when I don't feel sad it sometimes feels strange in a way
I am sad to hear you can relate to the feelings I posted. I also relate to a lot of your posts especially the pain of isolation and not belonging

Hopefully we both feel better soon and everyone else on here who is struggling

 

[1Lefty]

Thanks for the response
Yeah being sad anxious and alone is pretty much my default feeling too from the moment I wake up
I've gotten so used to being sad that when I don't feel sad it sometimes feels strange in a way
I am sad to hear you can relate to the feelings I posted. I also relate to a lot of your posts especially the pain of isolation and not belonging

Hopefully we both feel better soon and everyone else on here who is struggling

I don't have anything particular to say, so this response is kind of pointless, but -
I'm sorry for how you're feeling.

Life has been that way for me, too.

I think some people who don't know, or who haven't lived with it
Think of depression as just the opposite of happy,
so just doing something happy like a vacation, or buying something, will counter depression.

But for me, depression wasn't the opposite of anything
It just was,
And it sucked almost all other emotions away.
It was just a dark void, I felt miserable, but that doesn't really describe it
And nothing could counteract it.

I still have depression sometimes, but it's awhile since it lasted
I think just surviving, holding on, as desperate and grim as it gets,
Has been something that helped me.

I don't know if that's helpful to you
I hope you'll find hope

peace

 

[KM76710]

It is never pointless to let off steam and vent here with the people who want to be here for you and care about your well being...always wishing for the best and improvements to be in your life.