Ideas & Opinions The Benefits of Being Single
- Thread starter LonelyHiker
- Start date
This is weird for me to be posting in this thread as I am happily married, but I made a decision in my early 20s that I would be happy single. I thought I was too unattractive to get a man, so *shrug* I figured I would just get a silicone friend (wink) and for company I'd get a bunch of cats. Lol. I love cats.
So then after a few years I met someone.... And I honestly think one benefit of being happily single is that you will be in a much position to avoid being needy and attracting the wrong person. It is WAY better to be single than to be with the wrong person. You can take your time and go slowly with a new relationship and evaluate if the person is right for you. I mean, I knew within a month but we went slow, didn't have sex for three months. I was so cautious because I had been in a bad relationship before.
One thing that sucks about being in a relationship is if you are with someone who doesn't like any of the same things. One guy I was with for a few years didn't like ANY hot drinks. He wouldn't drink tea (any type) or coffee or cocoa. It was so weird watching someone swig Coke in the morning. I don't know, hot drinks are just such a primal thing. Especially in Canada in winter.
So then after a few years I met someone.... And I honestly think one benefit of being happily single is that you will be in a much position to avoid being needy and attracting the wrong person. It is WAY better to be single than to be with the wrong person. You can take your time and go slowly with a new relationship and evaluate if the person is right for you. I mean, I knew within a month but we went slow, didn't have sex for three months. I was so cautious because I had been in a bad relationship before.
One thing that sucks about being in a relationship is if you are with someone who doesn't like any of the same things. One guy I was with for a few years didn't like ANY hot drinks. He wouldn't drink tea (any type) or coffee or cocoa. It was so weird watching someone swig Coke in the morning. I don't know, hot drinks are just such a primal thing. Especially in Canada in winter.
Online dating stories have made me cynical - secondhand! One of my husband's female relatives (49) posted a profile and had something like a hundred immediate responses and had to shut down her account. She's slim and attractive. She said many of the responses revealed inadvertenly that the guy hadn't read any of her profile information, just glanced at her looks. It's such a shallow medium. It makes Facebook look deep. lol
Now, it's funny you say that as I signed up for online dating as I never really go anywhere where I'd meet people. I've had a couple of hilarious episodes - one from a guy who obviously thought he was writing a script for a porn film and the next from a guy who spent a month totally lovebombing me before asking to borrow money for a plane ticket as he'd been recruited by the UN to head up a data terrorism unit in Yemen 
But I did have a fabulous first date with someone last night who is who he says he is (he's in quite a high profile role in a large UK company and his photo and bio are on the company website). He seems like a proper old fashioned gentleman and we laughed all evening.
That being said I'm quite enjoying my newly single life
But I did have a fabulous first date with someone last night who is who he says he is (he's in quite a high profile role in a large UK company and his photo and bio are on the company website). He seems like a proper old fashioned gentleman and we laughed all evening.
That being said I'm quite enjoying my newly single life
I think one great thing about being single if you know you are truly self-reliant. Like you actually read about how to properly care for yourself when single, in case you had medical emergency and so on. Apps like Snug can help.
Ideally single people should be living in communities, like co-op housing is here in Canada. The other members are in between neighbors and friends, or can become friends. Nobody gets forgotten about - if you haven't been seen for a few hours or a day and you are normally around, someone will check. It was a nice community.
Being part of a couple, i do worry about losing my spouse. I feel perfectly capable a I could live single safely, but just the grief and loss would be awful. I mean I do think it's worth it if you find the right person (and if it's the right person you will know- especially if your family and friends agree). But there are definitely down sides to loving someone and knowing you WILL lose them mostly likely, if you are female especially because women outlive men.
Ideally single people should be living in communities, like co-op housing is here in Canada. The other members are in between neighbors and friends, or can become friends. Nobody gets forgotten about - if you haven't been seen for a few hours or a day and you are normally around, someone will check. It was a nice community.
Being part of a couple, i do worry about losing my spouse. I feel perfectly capable a I could live single safely, but just the grief and loss would be awful. I mean I do think it's worth it if you find the right person (and if it's the right person you will know- especially if your family and friends agree). But there are definitely down sides to loving someone and knowing you WILL lose them mostly likely, if you are female especially because women outlive men.
Going on holiday solo and chatting to random strangers, being able to order a cocktail rather than beer if I feel like it, being able to spend the whole day on the beach without being nagged because your partner is bored and not having to panic at the airport because you've arrived late and there's only 10 minutes until boarding starts
Going on holiday solo and chatting to random strangers, being able to order a cocktail rather than beer if I feel like it, being able to spend the whole day on the beach without being nagged because your partner is bored and not having to panic at the airport because you've arrived late and there's only 10 minutes until boarding starts
Met someone online once but we weren't compatible long term. I was "too independent." I went to meetups for a long while and thought I found someone but when I mustered enough confidence to ask him for coffee he disappeared. I'm ok with being alone but would like to have a "special connection." I don't even want to live with them at my age. Maybe it will happen, maybe not. In either case I remain self sufficient.
