2019 was by far the worst year of my life. the closest year that would maybe compare would be 2016, when i first discovered my depression and what it really was. but in 2016 it was just november-december, while 2019 it was the whole year. my depression hit especially hard in july-august, when i was practically broken inside and couldn’t do anything. anyway my point is i am having some bad anxiety and feeling some sadness because i am worried that 2020 will be a repeat of 2019. i’m only three days into this year and i feel as though i’m always on edge for what heart wrenching or devastating thing could happen next. last year i was the closest i’ve ever been in my life to suicide and if 2020 is a repeat of last year, then i think i’ll go through with it...