So, I was getting better, I promise! I was actually being creative and attentive, and I tried to be fun too, but I guess it's too much. I don't know what exactly is wrong with me, but there clearly is, because I feel far too stupid to be even alive. But, the thing is, I am too scared or chicken to die. I don't exactly want to as well, but I don't know what I am doing with my life anymore, like, I don't have a purpose. I am always way too panic-y and scared as heck and I don't know what the hell is wrong, like every little thing scares the hell out of me??? Why?? I mean, yes, these used to bother me at night, but now in the middle of a day as well? I sometimes don't know what is wrong and yet I still have some weird anxiety attack??? What the hell? What is wrong with me?!?!
s* It does sound to me like you've got a form of anxiety disorder, it's hell. I suffer from it as well. It was especially difficult all those years I wasn't aware that it was a disorder. It helps a bit knowing what's going on.