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Widowedvegan

Well-Known Member
#161
#161
Waves said:
Yes that is what I mean. That you get attacked for being mature and sharing your feelings and trying to communicate. But then the other person goes on the defense and attacks you. It is twisted in my humble opinion. Like banging your head against the wall with people not listening to you. I wish you were heard. Hugs.
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Yes, @Waves exactly what you said there happened to me fairly recently and it was Awful! Because I tried to communicate with the person they accused me of Harassing them!
 
Lady Wolfshead

Lady Wolfshead

wishes you well
#162
#162
seabird said:
Spoken words have so many power sources and intentions: often having nothing much to do with comraderie but tactical assertions of power.

I've been reproached again for having spoken too aggressively. This is making me doubtful, and I can feel them trying to take my confidence away. But that is what an adversary does.
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Don't let them take your confidence away! YOU ARE AWESOME! *hug
 
KM76710

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#165
#165
seabird said:
Spoken words have so many power sources and intentions: often having nothing much to do with comraderie but tactical assertions of power.

I've been reproached again for having spoken too aggressively. This is making me doubtful, and I can feel them trying to take my confidence away. But that is what an adversary does.
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Never let it get to you for speaking your peace and stating your opinion. My experience is that what many call aggressive is more often the other person not simply rolling over and being a patsy for some person's whims. Your thoughts and opinions are as worthwhile as others.
 
Waves

Waves

Well-Known Member
#166
#166
Do you get the feeling that people are using psychobabble on you sometimes when it is actually rejection and attacking. Like saying you crossed boundaries. Or they say they need to take care of themselves. Or you need to go into therapy or do you have a therapist. Etc. Etc. Etc.
 
Windhover

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
#168
#168
Waves said:
Do you get the feeling that people are using psychobabble on you sometimes when it is actually rejection and attacking. Like saying you crossed boundaries. Or they say they need to take care of themselves. Or you need to go into therapy or do you have a therapist. Etc. Etc. Etc.
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Yeah, people are on automatic pilot so often. Not feeling safe, they convince themselves due to their emotional and egotiarical needs, to turn dialogue into some sort of stupid bloody competition.
 
Windhover

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
#169
#169
KM76710 said:
Never let it get to you for speaking your peace and stating your opinion. My experience is that what many call aggressive is more often the other person not simply rolling over and being a patsy for some person's whims. Your thoughts and opinions are as worthwhile as others.
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KM Your words hold a steadiness and gentle power which is exactly what I'm attempting to mai tain in myself right now. I have to admit I'm scared. But intend to get back to an existence which allows for my indepenceence once again. Thanks @KM76710
 
Windhover

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
#176
#176
In trying to articulate some of the struggle it seems best to not get caught up in the web of hierarchical score keeping as it were. No one can go backwards in time as far as I know. But, maybe un-doing the validity I gave to people's lies-by-omission can be un-walked. May be painful okay it is painful. I'll never know why they bothered to lie in the first place, & it doesn't matter.
To those who've read, thank you, it's helped.

*hug
 
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