I tend to jump into conclusions, guys, please don't say that, I already know that. But I read some articles yesterday, and I think I may be? Well, the thing is, ever since I was a child, I am afraid of death. Not like your usual thing, though, I used to stay up all night crying because of it when I was 9/10, but I hadn't had such a rough patch again until this February, when some incident happened in our town, and the next day my family decided to go to the biggest city here as a holiday. Naturally, I freaked out, and stood up all night crying about my sister dying as she was sleeping next to me. I know this is really stupid- I am a logical person who knows the possibilities and stuff, but it didn't help my case. After then that, I refused to leave the house for anything but school for about half a month, and then I prayed over and over, making a 'deal' to survive- no Youtube for a month, like a fast. But, here's the thing: I'm not really religious. I believe in a God, but no religion, and praying to a god in a religion is useless for me, yet I do it every night to feel better. When I feel like something bad s going to happen, I knock on wood. And. I. Actually. Believe. In. None. Of. It. So help, maybe? I may not have it and may be just overreacting- sometimes I fear about that-, but technically thinking that you have a mental illness is a mental illness itself so it doesn't help me much. I tried to tell this to my therapist but she chose to focus more on my mood swings (is it still that if you have it periodically? I dunno.) and skipped this subject, which to be honest is just as annoying as the latter, so please help me? I need advice.
