Are you over 60?
- Thread starter Waves
- Start date
I am just under 60 (59) and after next week may have issues. (My daughter is getting married next week). After that no goals. I have had a marriage (now divorce), raised a kid, 1 Master's degree, somewhat enjoyable yet stressful career. If anything my goal is to retire at 65 if I make it that far. Which scares the crap out of me because work provides a structure that I need and some socialization. and if I retire what then? No one to play with and no goals and no money to travel...life will s%^k.
Yes, definitely over 60 because I was born in July 1952. Luckily I always have enough money all the time. No, not a millionaire but living comfortably. If you don't squander, then your finances will remain secure. One thing about money is that you have to keep on your toes all the time because just one misstep and you might lose everything.
So no financial woes. Instead, my woes are my health and loneliness. Constantly deteriorating health is expected at our age of course. So I always pray that I can go on to the next life before I get too debilitated and helpless. My greatest fear is Alzheimer's disease. Because the only other survivor in my immediate family is my 95-year old Mother who has that Alzheimer's whom I had to finally commit to a nursing home. What makes it so difficult for me emotionally is that her dementia has made her forget who I am. Before her dementia, she and I were very close and we used to go on many excursions together. What's so difficult is when she stares blankly at me and does not say hello and does not even say a single word, then it's as though her soul is already gone. Her physical body is alive but her soul is gone. So much as I hate to say it I have cut down on my visits to her because it's much too painful to visit her and get no response at all. I hope you folks can understand me. I'm sorry.
So no financial woes. Instead, my woes are my health and loneliness. Constantly deteriorating health is expected at our age of course. So I always pray that I can go on to the next life before I get too debilitated and helpless. My greatest fear is Alzheimer's disease. Because the only other survivor in my immediate family is my 95-year old Mother who has that Alzheimer's whom I had to finally commit to a nursing home. What makes it so difficult for me emotionally is that her dementia has made her forget who I am. Before her dementia, she and I were very close and we used to go on many excursions together. What's so difficult is when she stares blankly at me and does not say hello and does not even say a single word, then it's as though her soul is already gone. Her physical body is alive but her soul is gone. So much as I hate to say it I have cut down on my visits to her because it's much too painful to visit her and get no response at all. I hope you folks can understand me. I'm sorry.
Though not yet 60....it's around the corner as I'm 56...and my husband is 76 and retired. I was "retired" from my career just a bit over a year ago...so went back to school for something completely different and am in a new job (and hopefully career) as I need to continue to work for financial reasons as well as health care benefits for at least 10 if not more years.
I think with retirement having watched my husband go through it it's important to have some sort of plan what you would like to do whether it's to have a part time job or pursue an interest you've always had by volunteering or getting involved in something so that your days have some structure.
I do worry alot about our financial future as we don't own a home and really no savings to speak of alas due to various circumstances so often I wonder what the future will hold for us and if we will be able to have a "good/comfortable life" as with the age difference alas this is the time that he would like to do the typical "retirement things" of travel and such but we can't financially and with me and a new job/career it also isn't really possible.
So feeling some regrets about that and a bit of guilt that due to my actions and inactions that led to my forced "retirement" we are in our current situation which defines our future for the next decade or so and then he will be 86....his mom is still living and doing well and will celebrate her 105 year b-day next month so that gives me some hope that we will have time for a more normal "retirement" phase of our lives...but one never knows what the future may bring.
Apologize for a long post...as your question hit close to home.
I think with retirement having watched my husband go through it it's important to have some sort of plan what you would like to do whether it's to have a part time job or pursue an interest you've always had by volunteering or getting involved in something so that your days have some structure.
I do worry alot about our financial future as we don't own a home and really no savings to speak of alas due to various circumstances so often I wonder what the future will hold for us and if we will be able to have a "good/comfortable life" as with the age difference alas this is the time that he would like to do the typical "retirement things" of travel and such but we can't financially and with me and a new job/career it also isn't really possible.
So feeling some regrets about that and a bit of guilt that due to my actions and inactions that led to my forced "retirement" we are in our current situation which defines our future for the next decade or so and then he will be 86....his mom is still living and doing well and will celebrate her 105 year b-day next month so that gives me some hope that we will have time for a more normal "retirement" phase of our lives...but one never knows what the future may bring.
Apologize for a long post...as your question hit close to home.
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Well, I don't have Alzheimer's yet. As long as I don't have Alzheimer's, I want to live. And my finances always remain stable. Medical coverage is secure. So my only painful woe is my mental aberration but I see a therapist on a regular basis. Obviously the aberration has a big effect on my emotional state but everybody has some kind of woe in their life. Everybody suffers in a way. Hey, I'd rather have emotional woes rather than financial suffering. Because money crisis has the additional factor of constant stress. So money crisis is the most difficult problem of all, right?
On this forum many, if not most, suffer from some emotions. But if I practice my Buddhist Meditation diligently, then I can manage the emotions. But it takes a lot of discipline so sometimes I falter. But I keep trying. It's only myself who can control my emotions.
On this forum many, if not most, suffer from some emotions. But if I practice my Buddhist Meditation diligently, then I can manage the emotions. But it takes a lot of discipline so sometimes I falter. But I keep trying. It's only myself who can control my emotions.
Hello Winslow
I agree with you. We are in control of our emotions. I some cases, illnesses like ptsd bipolar disorder and clinical depression self control can be overshadowed by biochemistry. You are fortunate and wise to have financial security. It makes a difference that many people minimize, saying it doesn't matter. So many people with their opinions. Thank you for talking here. Maybe we can have a conversation when both here?
I agree with you. We are in control of our emotions. I some cases, illnesses like ptsd bipolar disorder and clinical depression self control can be overshadowed by biochemistry. You are fortunate and wise to have financial security. It makes a difference that many people minimize, saying it doesn't matter. So many people with their opinions. Thank you for talking here. Maybe we can have a conversation when both here?
Yes, but please don't tell anyone. I'm hoping to keep it a secret just a little longer.
Finances: for me, I think yes it does technically get harder. I still work but this is likely to end in an unknown amount of time because I can't afford to quit and there is enough else going on that will likely end my employment in one way or another. Needing to work for the money does present added difficulty if the work ends.
From the standpoint of companies and the like not getting paid by me when I can no longer afford it or am dead does make it easier. I will not suffer if their situation becomes more difficult as a result. There's little or nothing I can do to remedy their problems.
Depression, anxiety and loneliness... Loneliness is the worst of these. I have recently discovered that in order to end my loneliness I'll have to change my personality and I'm certain I already reached the end of the road for doing that. I've hit dead ends so many times I realize this situation will not be changing. I just need to manage the sadness with pills or food - preferably food. What else?
Depression and anxiety I've never really understood. Don't know if it's a part of my life or not or if it is getting more difficult.
I have an irritating sense of humor but it does allow me to have a less painful ride to the end so I'll hold onto it and use it with apologies if necessary.
Oh yes, security: security = insecurity and that is a constant. Steady hard. I hope this response is helpful.
Finances: for me, I think yes it does technically get harder. I still work but this is likely to end in an unknown amount of time because I can't afford to quit and there is enough else going on that will likely end my employment in one way or another. Needing to work for the money does present added difficulty if the work ends.
From the standpoint of companies and the like not getting paid by me when I can no longer afford it or am dead does make it easier. I will not suffer if their situation becomes more difficult as a result. There's little or nothing I can do to remedy their problems.
Depression, anxiety and loneliness... Loneliness is the worst of these. I have recently discovered that in order to end my loneliness I'll have to change my personality and I'm certain I already reached the end of the road for doing that. I've hit dead ends so many times I realize this situation will not be changing. I just need to manage the sadness with pills or food - preferably food. What else?
Depression and anxiety I've never really understood. Don't know if it's a part of my life or not or if it is getting more difficult.
I have an irritating sense of humor but it does allow me to have a less painful ride to the end so I'll hold onto it and use it with apologies if necessary.
Oh yes, security: security = insecurity and that is a constant. Steady hard. I hope this response is helpful.
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My Dad is 90 and in the early stages of Alzhiemers. There is no other family in the country except me (and the ones out of the country dont care), so I have to look out for him. I know what you mean about the blank stares, its very hard. Sometimes my Dad looks at me like he hates me, but not all the time. I have also cut down my visits to him. I felt really awful at first, but I felt I was going to explode if I went everyday like I used to. Sometimes you just have to put your own mental health first. I know how selfish that sounds to someone who is not in the situation, but its true. I hope things get better for you.
Thank you so much for your post. It made me feel so much better. I know you are sincere because you are in the exact same situation as I am. As you said, you had to cut down on your visits to your Father the same that I do with my Mother. At times I feel guilty about it but even my therapist reassures me that it's alright. He understands.
Thank you again for your post. Consolation to me that other people experience that emotional situation too, and we can commiserate.
Thank you again for your post. Consolation to me that other people experience that emotional situation too, and we can commiserate.