I just turned 63 in January. Mom just turned 82. I got to go visit her last fall in Mexico. I hadn't been out of the states before that. It was a great trip. Mom is a go-getter, plain and simple. She broke her hip two years ago and last year she was in a bus accident as a passenger. She was still recovering from the bus accident when I was there but she said my visit got her out of her depression of having to pay attention to recovery. She's starting to do more things again. I live one day at a time and look for the good in each day. God is the one I lean on. I will leave this earth when he says its time.
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Are you over 60?
- Thread starter Waves
- Start date
Yes, agreed, that in Bipolar disorder that self-control can be overshadowed by biochemistry. Because a friend Linda who resided in the same apartment complex had bipolar disorder and committed suicide several years ago. What a shock to me because on the surface she always appeared cheerful so I never knew the agony she kept hidden inside.
So I don't know whether Buddhist Meditation would have helped her or not, because of, as you said, the biochemistry of bipolar disorder.
Thankfully for me, my aberration can be controlled through the Zen meditation. But even then, suicidal thoughts can occasionally and insidiously creep into my mind because I was suicidal for so long that suicidal thoughts are a so-called Default mechanism, if you know what I mean. So I have to be always on guard, mentally.
So I don't know whether Buddhist Meditation would have helped her or not, because of, as you said, the biochemistry of bipolar disorder.
Thankfully for me, my aberration can be controlled through the Zen meditation. But even then, suicidal thoughts can occasionally and insidiously creep into my mind because I was suicidal for so long that suicidal thoughts are a so-called Default mechanism, if you know what I mean. So I have to be always on guard, mentally.
For me to answer your question fully would take too many pages so at first I'll give a general overview and some tidbits. More details will be fleshed out as our dialogue progresses. Although I have schizophrenia I would say that the main cause of my suicidal tendencies was when my best friend died-- a friend who had a mental illness the same as I do which is why we became close friends. Before I got that friend I was in an asylum for my schizophrenia. Surprisingly, my stay at the asylum was actually happy for me because I made good friends and was also the first time I played tennis, as the property includes a tennis court. There were also volunteers who took us out on excursions, such as to the beach. So I actually had happy times at the asylum.
After I was discharged, it was several months later that I chanced to be walking past a homeless shelter at which someone invited me in. That was a super-lucky day for me because I was looking for social-recreation, and the occupants inside the shelter were playing board games. Elated, I quickly joined the games. It was there that a homeless person taught me how to play cribbage which has remained one of my favorite games to this day.
A few weeks later I met the person who was to become my best friend. We played cribbage at the center five days a week.
Then one day I got the greatest shock of my life when I found out that my friend had died. Although it's debatable whether it was accidental or suicidal I'm pretty sure it was suicide due to the circumstances and my friend's mental illness. As a result of the death I became suicidal. Also because I had to take meds because of my schizophrenia, and those meds had awful side effects. With some meds I really believe that the cure is worse than the disease.
Currently though, I'm doing passably well. Because I had been gradually weaned off the meds by my therapist teaching me Buddhist Meditation.
No I'm not suicidal nowadays but still contemplate death. It's because of my age. Point to be made is that even people at this age of life but who are normal, contemplate death. Even though they are normal, it's their elderliness that makes them contemplate death. I truly believe that this contemplation of death is normal for EVERY elderly person. Statistically true because I've seen many surveys where practically every elderly contemplates death because of rapidly declining health. When one is totally bedridden and helpless and even in pain on top of that. So it's not surprising statistically that so many ELDERLY contemplate death. Remember we are speaking of specifically the Elderly. What do you think, Waves?
After I was discharged, it was several months later that I chanced to be walking past a homeless shelter at which someone invited me in. That was a super-lucky day for me because I was looking for social-recreation, and the occupants inside the shelter were playing board games. Elated, I quickly joined the games. It was there that a homeless person taught me how to play cribbage which has remained one of my favorite games to this day.
A few weeks later I met the person who was to become my best friend. We played cribbage at the center five days a week.
Then one day I got the greatest shock of my life when I found out that my friend had died. Although it's debatable whether it was accidental or suicidal I'm pretty sure it was suicide due to the circumstances and my friend's mental illness. As a result of the death I became suicidal. Also because I had to take meds because of my schizophrenia, and those meds had awful side effects. With some meds I really believe that the cure is worse than the disease.
Currently though, I'm doing passably well. Because I had been gradually weaned off the meds by my therapist teaching me Buddhist Meditation.
No I'm not suicidal nowadays but still contemplate death. It's because of my age. Point to be made is that even people at this age of life but who are normal, contemplate death. Even though they are normal, it's their elderliness that makes them contemplate death. I truly believe that this contemplation of death is normal for EVERY elderly person. Statistically true because I've seen many surveys where practically every elderly contemplates death because of rapidly declining health. When one is totally bedridden and helpless and even in pain on top of that. So it's not surprising statistically that so many ELDERLY contemplate death. Remember we are speaking of specifically the Elderly. What do you think, Waves?
Yes, similar with me, though I still have hope that something will change and we'll have a good few years left. At least it's a possibility. I know the universe is not fair in granting lifelong happiness to some and nothing but pain to others, but I need some semblance of hope to get through the daily misery.
I am a bit over 60, but when I was 49 thought my life was through due to a heart problem. Now I am looking forward to the future and have plenty of hope. You can help build hope for the future by what you do today. Is there something you love to do? Make it your goal. Read some self-help books, and watch videos. Retirement can be the best part of life. There are retirement groups that do all sorts of fun things together. Just don't you give up. Love
Lots of lengthy posts here, and also some very short. Now 64, and still am quite active because of my background in exercise physiology and physical therapy. I know the negative outcome of being a "couch potato." In Vermont you stay active by preparing for the winter, plus during the rest of the year you need to fix the things that broke during the long winter.
Actually I was bored a few months ago, so got a job hauling around heavy stuff at a store I will not disclose. Retired from a combo of active and National Guard US Army, so even if someone doesn't like that, I thank you for paying your taxes for my retirement check, and fortunately, VA medical care is also free.
Oh hell, I will disclose...now working at a Tractor Supply store.
Actually I was bored a few months ago, so got a job hauling around heavy stuff at a store I will not disclose. Retired from a combo of active and National Guard US Army, so even if someone doesn't like that, I thank you for paying your taxes for my retirement check, and fortunately, VA medical care is also free.
Oh hell, I will disclose...now working at a Tractor Supply store.
Hey @Waves !!!! Glad to see you around again 😊!!!! I'm doing... Well, thanks, or at least conversationally, doing fine. How about you? I hope to see you again on my conversation thread. Maybe? I hope I didn't come off as not wanting to talk... I was hoping we were getting into a good conversation. And it gets sort of lonely there too actually. But there or here, happy to talk.😊.
@extraterrestrialone
Surprised to see this thread get bumped to the front again after a hiatus. Always glad to see you around, e-t. I'm doing alright. Certainly want to stay alive. But at our age, our health gets worse by the day. How's yours, e-t?
Surprised to see this thread get bumped to the front again after a hiatus. Always glad to see you around, e-t. I'm doing alright. Certainly want to stay alive. But at our age, our health gets worse by the day. How's yours, e-t?