BPD Support Thread

[Aurelia]

Well, I may have stumbled upon a few red flags tonight with him. I could be wrong and/or judging too harshly, but I saw a few signs of a controlling nature, possessiveness, and he really wasn't kidding when he said he falls for people quickly. I'm BPD and even I don't say those words after only a single day. He tried to kind of take it back after I said I needed more time by saying that it just slipped out as a "caring kind of love" but I don't buy that for a second. And the other two qualities are a bit alarming because they have the makings of physical abuse later on in the relationship. But maybe I'm just being paranoid, or like I said, possibly judging too harshly...I don't know.

He did say he was bipolar, ptsd, and an alcoholic. You can't exactly expect there not to be at least SOME issues. And people without issues at all are shallow, boring, and stupid. So I think it's still worth pursuing, but just going to have to keep my guard up a bit.

 

[richard 1998]

Hey all
Just wanted to check in and ask all of you about your experience with the feeling of emptiness and coping using music.
I feel like I feel so much better when listening to melodic, calming instrumentals, like "wünsch mir was - instrumental" by metrickz

Does anyone else feel the same? If so, what song do you like to listen to?

Have a nice day everyone
Richard

 

[Gwyrdd]

So just don't sexually harass each other

 

[Gwyrdd]

Well, I may have stumbled upon a few red flags tonight with him. I could be wrong and/or judging too harshly, but I saw a few signs of a controlling nature, possessiveness, and he really wasn't kidding when he said he falls for people quickly. I'm BPD and even I don't say those words after only a single day. He tried to kind of take it back after I said I needed more time by saying that it just slipped out as a "caring kind of love" but I don't buy that for a second. And the other two qualities are a bit alarming because they have the makings of physical abuse later on in the relationship. But maybe I'm just being paranoid, or like I said, possibly judging too harshly...I don't know.

He did say he was bipolar, ptsd, and an alcoholic. You can't exactly expect there not to be at least SOME issues. And people without issues at all are shallow, boring, and stupid. So I think it's still worth pursuing, but just going to have to keep my guard up a bit.

Well, I think a healthy amount of caution but also trying to keep yourself in check is appropriate. We all know how easily we can overreact. And if he has issues, I'd say leeway is allowed, but boundaries are still required. Obviously you know literally everything I'm saying, being borderline and also theough a long-term abusive relationship, so I'm just rambling now.

Either way, stay safe.

 

[Gwyrdd]

Hey all
Just wanted to check in and ask all of you about your experience with the feeling of emptiness and coping using music.
I feel like I feel so much better when listening to melodic, calming instrumentals, like "wünsch mir was - instrumental" by metrickz

Does anyone else feel the same? If so, what song do you like to listen to?

Have a nice day everyone
Richard

Well... I tend to cope with hard drugs and alcohol. But if I have neither then yeah I turn to music. Only angry music is actually more calming to me, dunno why, but it is. Or sad music.

Don't really have many specific songs that I can think of on the spot though apparently.

 

[Dope]

And there I go, just drank some whiskey and I'm thinking...I really missed this, it's really good. If I'm going to lose everyone through drinking, drugs, suicide, or abandonment, why should I give a damn about what happens to me? I don't care enough about myself to be healthy. There's 3 and a half years of sobriety down the drain. I don't feel sick, it didn't burn, I just feel like I picked up where I left off. And part of me feels this is the right thing to do. I'm already feeling relaxed and all I did was take a sip. People are going to be disappointed in me...I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything but this.

Don't worry about other people being disappointed in you. And your sobriety is not down the drain. You can pick it up where you left off any time you want. You don't have to beat yourself up about it. You are okay. You'll be okay. I support you! Just hang tight my friend. I know exactly what you're going through and I have been through this too. It happens. Things ebb and flow. You'll get back up again, like always. SELF SOOTHE right now. Be gentle with yourself. That's what you need to do. PM me anytime.

 

[Dope]

Also WS: I had a mom who was mentally ill who tried to kill herself constantly. My cousin (who was like my sis) killed herself a couple years back. I know how you may feel. I also know what it's like to want to connect to that one person that will accept you as you are. I might not be that romantic option you are looking for, but I can be that friend that fulfills (checks) the other boxes. ANYTIME.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

You are so sweet, thank you. I'm glad to know that I have true friends here who understand me and won't look down on me for having problems. I already want to drink again and that's especially bad because I am a binge drinker.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Someone on this site I go on was talking about suicide. They seemed young, like maybe a teenager. Well, some people were making jokes and encouraging them to kill themselves. Sometimes the world is really fucked up and I don't like to be a part of it.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

This almost wants to make me stop drinking. lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Poor @Gwyrdd is dealing with my drunken insanity right now, which consists of me asking completely nonsensical questions. lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Examples:
Would you do a maple vodka shot off a Mountie?
Should I worry about erectile dysfunction at this point?
Would you siphon a shot off my actual brain if I was having brain surgery?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I sent him at least 5 drunken voice clips. That poor man, holy shit.

 

[Aurelia]

So I found out why he has some questionable traits...it seems he has what my husband had...multiple personality disorder. Or as they call it nowadays, DID. Fortunately, none of his personalities are sociopathic, though, so I'm pretty sure I'm good. Fortunately, I've developed some expertise in that area already lol. He doesn't seem like the type to be violent though. At least not to me.

 

[Aurelia]

So just don't sexually harass each other

Lol we just did in the backroom where the cameras didn't reach lol.

 

[Aurelia]

This almost wants to make me stop drinking. lol

View attachment 48888

Yeah, that's what I said about dope before.. ALMOST but not quite lol

 

[Ash600]

Lol we just did in the backroom where the cameras didn't reach lol.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I even sent out voice clips of myself singing last night. No wonder I don't want to get out of bed. Lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Looks like it's time to announce my presidential campaign for the 2024 election. Here is my tentative cabinet:

Vice president: Aurelia
PR guy: Gwyrdd
Speech writer: Dope
Secretary of Treasury: Scrooge McDuck
Hype man: The ShamWow guy
Presidential mascot: Pugs
Quote: "This chocolate is too good to be shared".
Campaign song: Insane in the Brain

I'll update this when I think of more.

 

[Aurelia]

Looks like it's time to announce my presidential campaign for the 2024 election. Here is my tentative cabinet:

Vice president: Aurelia
PR guy: Gwyrdd
Speech writer: Dope
Secretary of Treasury: Scrooge McDuck
Hype man: The ShamWow guy
Presidential mascot: Pugs
Quote: "This chocolate is too good to be shared".
Campaign song: Insane in the Brain

I'll update this when I think of more.

Woo-hoo, I get to be vice president lol