First time I ever did drugs was 6 years ago. And I was an addict and an alcoholic (same thing I guess anyway) for about 2 years, before having a bad episode and having my first drink in almost 4 years about 3 months ago. Got back into hard drugs again too.
Anyway, back story time over. I guess it's been about 5 ish months since my emotions stopped being anything but bad episode after bad episode back to just numb over and over. With VERY occasional good days other than when I was high on something.
My bpd symptoms have been getting progressively wor with age. Not better, so thats probably why it's like that recently.