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BPD Support Thread

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
Also, can I just say @Aurelia that you have one of the coolest names I’ve ever heard in my life. My husband was the same as me, he saw the envelope after I’d written out your address and was like “that is one hell of a cool name”.
Lol my real name is Tanya, but Aurelia is an AFI song I like. I thought it would be cool as hell as a real name too
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I'm currently training an extremely smart AND cute girl at work lol. BUT no more relationships with coworkers. I mean it this time....

Plus, she has kids, so she's probably straight anyway. Lol. Why are the good ones always married or straight?
 
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Witty_Sarcasm

🦄🦜🧁Rainbow Unicorn (Deluxe Edition) ®🌈🌝💖
SF Supporter
I'm currently training an extremely smart AND cute girl at work lol. BUT no more relationships with coworkers. I mean it this time....

Plus, she has kids, so she's probably straight anyway. Lol. Why are the good ones always married or straight?
Well I mean, not all of them are. lol
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
That's because when the universe ends, time will just stop
No such thing as time, Ashy. Just another human construct that we use to be able to communicate and understand one another better. But in reality, considering that time on Earth is not the same as time in space, it's just an illusion. Especially if there are other universes out there; the laws of physics could be (and more than likely are) totally different.
 

Aves

Well-Known Member
No such thing as time, Ashy. Just another human construct that we use to be able to communicate and understand one another better. But in reality, considering that time on Earth is not the same as time in space, it's just an illusion. Especially if there are other universes out there; the laws of physics could be (and more than likely are) totally different.
I watched a film last night called Coherence. It was a bit rubbish where acting and production were concerned but the concept was really interesting. It was about weird things happening when a comet passes. It was focussed on some friends at a dinner party on the night of a comet passing which results in a reality split with alternate versions of themselves. Like I said, it wasn’t the best film but it led me on a Google search of quantum decoherence (well, a search for the extremely simple explanation of quantum decoherence :D).
 

Aves

Well-Known Member
I know there was a conversation on this thread about stigma connected with BPD but I’ve been thinking for a while now about the stigma relating to NPD. I’m not saying that a personality disorder is an excuse to treat people badly but it feels like all that’s said about a person with NPD is that they’re awful and abusive people. I have two family members who have a lot of narcissistic traits and I believe that they’re undiagnosed NPD. They also have a lot of borderline traits too. Now these two family members of mine are not awful people, they have been abusive and are impossible to reach emotionally but I do believe that they have their good parts. I also think that people with narcissistic traits are possibly damaged and hurting emotionally just like we all have the ability to do. Like I said, I don’t believe that that is an excuse to hurt others but if we’re talking about personality disorders being an illness then surely the symptoms can be what lead individuals to behaviours that can potentially hurt others. I don’t know, it just feels like there is this mentality of “please don’t stigmatise mental illnesses, except for NPD because everyone with that is evil”. Anyway, that was just my little observation for today and I just wanted to know how other people felt about that.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I know there was a conversation on this thread about stigma connected with BPD but I’ve been thinking for a while now about the stigma relating to NPD. I’m not saying that a personality disorder is an excuse to treat people badly but it feels like all that’s said about a person with NPD is that they’re awful and abusive people. I have two family members who have a lot of narcissistic traits and I believe that they’re undiagnosed NPD. They also have a lot of borderline traits too. Now these two family members of mine are not awful people, they have been abusive and are impossible to reach emotionally but I do believe that they have their good parts. I also think that people with narcissistic traits are possibly damaged and hurting emotionally just like we all have the ability to do. Like I said, I don’t believe that that is an excuse to hurt others but if we’re talking about personality disorders being an illness then surely the symptoms can be what lead individuals to behaviours that can potentially hurt others. I don’t know, it just feels like there is this mentality of “please don’t stigmatise mental illnesses, except for NPD because everyone with that is evil”. Anyway, that was just my little observation for today and I just wanted to know how other people felt about that.
This is exactly why I still have empathy for my husband when I know he's hurting. I know he's NPD and sociopathic at times, but I also know he does some of the shit he does (or says) because hes in pain and unfortunately the only way he knows to get rid of it is either numb it with drugs or inflict it upon others. Like you said, it's no excuse, and I do try my best to protect my sanity when dealing with him, but I still do love him and he does have many good traits. But unfortunately, the bad started to outweigh the good eventually.
 

Aves

Well-Known Member
This is exactly why I still have empathy for my husband when I know he's hurting. I know he's NPD and sociopathic at times, but I also know he does some of the shit he does (or says) because hes in pain and unfortunately the only way he knows to get rid of it is either numb it with drugs or inflict it upon others. Like you said, it's no excuse, and I do try my best to protect my sanity when dealing with him, but I still do love him and he does have many good traits. But unfortunately, the bad started to outweigh the good eventually.
Yeah and that’s what you don’t want in a relationship, no matter how much you love someone. I had to leave my ex after five years because things had just gotten so toxic and I honestly believe that one of us would’ve died or been seriously hurt if I didn’t end it. He was never going to end it because he was in denial and didn’t believe that anything was wrong so it broke my heart but I knew it was the right thing to do. He was very broken in a lot of ways and I knew that I wasn’t doing him any favours by still being with him because by doing so I was enabling his behaviour. I had tried so many things to help him but it never worked and I don’t think he was willing or ready to change anyway so I had gotten to the point that I was no longer willing to put up with that.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
Yeah and that’s what you don’t want in a relationship, no matter how much you love someone. I had to leave my ex after five years because things had just gotten so toxic and I honestly believe that one of us would’ve died or been seriously hurt if I didn’t end it. He was never going to end it because he was in denial and didn’t believe that anything was wrong so it broke my heart but I knew it was the right thing to do. He was very broken in a lot of ways and I knew that I wasn’t doing him any favours by still being with him because by doing so I was enabling his behaviour. I had tried so many things to help him but it never worked and I don’t think he was willing or ready to change anyway so I had gotten to the point that I was no longer willing to put up with that.
I've been through all kinds of hell with my husband...and he was the one who ended it, but as a manipulation tactic, because he expected me to be miserable and come crawling back. And I didn't because basically I couldn't take it anymore. There was a 3 day period when I was in benzo withdrawal and emotional AF when I did go back, but then immediately left again when I realized I was right back to square one.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
So I'm getting everyone at my work a card except for fuckfag. And hopefully, he becomes aware of this fact and feels like an asshole...because he is.

2 people got gifts, though, as well...Alex, because he's awesome, and Ana (the new girl) because well...she's adorable lol. Still not trying to date her, people...relax...just a gift from a coworker to another coworker...who just happens to be cute.
 

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