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Competition Time! The most crazy cures you've tried...

Battlecry

Mad as a sack of ferrets!
#1
Right folks, my last post got me thinking. I ran through the litany of treatments, therapies and interventions I've engaged with over the last twenty years; some more conventional than others. I believe that modern pharmaceuticals and talking therapies are probably the most effective. But I'm open minded (and desperate) enough to try alternatives such as acupuncture, hypnotherapy, reiki and herbal medicine. I think each of them do something. Not always sure what, or whether it helps. But they aren't merely a placebo. And then there are things like ECT and EMDR - neither of which I've tried but they do seem to work, even if the professionals admit they are not entirely sure how.

In generations gone by, there was some scary shit happening.
We've probably all heard of lobotomising the most extreme cases (surgery to the frontal lobe of the brain) which spawned the Walking Dead. Google "lobotomobile". Seriously, I'm not kidding. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

But here are one or two others that might freak you out:

INSULIN COMA-THERAPY: Whether by chance or science, there is an evidence base to suggest it worked. But it was so dangerous, it's popularity faded.
TREPANATION: Mentally ill? Why not have a hole drilled in your head to let the demons out. Genius! Why didn't I think of that earlier?
HYDROTHERAPY: No, not lounging in a nice spa. Try being wrapped in ice cold towels for hours, strapped into a bath for days or blasted with a fire hose.
MALARIA-THERAPY: Prior to penicillin, infecting someone resulted in a fever so severe it would kill off the STD syphilis and it's associated madness.

And then there are some that are downright hilarious:

WOMB-CALMING: Yes ladies, if you're hysterical, it's because your under-utilised womb is clearly playing up. Have a baby. It'll cure everything. Or cause stretch-marks and post-natal depression.
ROTATIONAL THERAPY: Do you know what? I love spinning around after a few drinks. I'm in my thirties and it's still great fun. But I'm still mad. So clearly the suggestion that it unblocks congestion in your brain is a crock of monkey snot!
DRY-SKIN BRUSHING: WTF? Apparently this is a more modern phenomena gaining traction in the US, by supposedly increasing blood flow and removing toxins. Me thinks the instigator of this one is perhaps in need of a lobotomy.

So... in the spirit of true group therapy. Share with the rest of us. What's the most bizarre, peculiar, off-the-wall treatments tried by others?
Is licking that albino natterjack toad twice daily just not having the desired impact? And naked star jumps during a full moon just got you arrested?

For me. And I guess it might be controversial. Neurotherapy. Also known as EEG Biofeedback, it works (or rather doesn't, in my subjective opinion) on the premise that you can modify electrical activity of the brain and central nervous system. Which you probably can, just not like this. It entailed lying on an examination couch with electrodes stuck in various places, supposedly operating a different frequencies, to alter/harmonise my own. You don't feel anything - it's not like an ab-toner! Christ knows what it was supposed to do but I was privileged enough to walk away with a small metal capsule (apparently charged to a therapeutic frequency during the process) that I should keep on me at all times. I think it became a paperweight.

So, come on. Help me out. If nothing else, think of it as laughter therapy. It'll do you good.
 

dugga

Well-Known Member
#2
I just googled Lobotomobile.... sort of reminds me of those mobile blood donation vans. Too bad if you accidentally hopped on the wrong bus :confused: Oh fuck what's the icepick for? I thought I was donating a pint of the red stuff?
 
#3
I did a week of something, I don't remember the name, back in 2001. You would sit in front of a television monitor and focus on trying to get this bouncing ball that danced all over the screen to stay in one place in the middle of the screen...total failure, lol!!
 

Innocent Forever

Still innocent!
SF Supporter
#4
Oh gosh! I was rolling through this, although some of the things you mentioned are so so sad - I've read up on them in the past, came across them in fiction and non-fiction books I've read. Thanks for sharing this!
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#5
This is hilarious. I don't have anything to add, I just wanna follow along. Honestly I haven't been down the road of a million-and-one therapies to have any input.
 

Kira

•✮• Badarse Gelfling •✮•
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Supporter
#6
Womb-Calming? Really?!? When I was pregnant (14+ yrs ago) all it did was give me pre-eclampsia and a ton of strech-marks! That was a massive boost for the self-esteem! :p
 

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