Ideas & Opinions death of a friend

[seabird]

This: Just need to be heard? If you just need to talk to someone, post here for support.

I found out about a person's death this morning, a person who I used to be very close to, but over 10 years ago. Since then we'd spoken only infrequently. They'd isoated themselves from others but I didn't realize what they were doing. When we'd talk, their mood would be okay, and they seemed to have some joys and interests. But now when it's too late, I know they had needed help since probably a couple years ago.

When someone is in trouble, ideally, theoretically they should be able to get help.

When someone is very lonely, they should be able to find comfort and friendship.

When someone is suicidal, they should be able to be shown ways to rise out of the dark.

I don't have specific questions.

 

[JDot]

It's true. This is why I'm glad we have SF. Suicide is definitely a scary subject, but somehow our society needs to become comfortable talking about it. So many are hurting and afraid to reach out.

 

[MisterBGone]

Sending warm, caring and kind thoughts, to you now sea... I'm just so terribly sorry for your loss~
It sounds like - he was a genuinely good person, and that, you were lucky to have known one another
& to have had the time that you did have together with one another: regardless, of how much time
may have passed, since you were regulars on one another's daily menu of agendas in life. As they say,
it's the quality, and not necessarily the quantity. Or if I am getting that wrong, then the fact that you
are hurting so much now, and that it is hitting you so hard, just goes to show, what he means to you
and how good and close the two of you were to one another as friends. And sometimes, friendship can
be a gift or treasure, that is like no other in this world. For it escapes so many other definitions. Or. . .
when it is really truly good. I'm not sure that there are many better things, that I have found, anyway
in this life. So I feel for you, I truly do. I'm sure he feels the same way about you, ~~~ too! Later, b.

 

[Survivorist]

When someone is in trouble, ideally, theoretically they should be able to get help.

When someone is very lonely, they should be able to find comfort and friendship.

When someone is suicidal, they should be able to be shown ways to rise out of the dark.

This is very good and nice said. But it requires that you talk. Not everything is visible - and we are all good at hiding.

 

[seabird]

Thank you @MisterBGone . Yeah, when you have a person who can anticipate your thoughts and who makes you laugh it is a gift. I hope you're doing okay MisterB.

 

[seabird]

This is very good and nice said. But it requires that you talk. Not everything is visible - and we are all good at hiding.

True. Talking in the sense of really communicatiing is not easy nor is writing. As humans moved away from where we apparently started, I think we also lost the ability to communicate in ways other than speech. Like right now you cannot see my expressions, nor my body language, and I cannot ask anyone for a hug or a hand to hold for a minute. As huge as the population is, its overall ethos has become tight and narrow and mean. We are losing ourselves.

 

[Survivorist]

Feel hugged and any time you come to Spain, let me know.

 

[Lekatt]

Death seems so sad. It is hard to understand. Sorry for your loss. God bless. Love

 

[AvidFan]

Sorry for what you are going through @seabird As always my inbox is open to you if needed ❤️❤️❤️

 

[seabird]

Death seems so sad. It is hard to understand. Sorry for your loss. God bless. Love

He would've greatly appreciated this. Thanks. I'm letting him go, to be lifted, away.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry you lost your friend Seabird. I know it must be hard.

Sending hugs

 

[AmberMarie]

i am so very sorry @seabird! That much be so difficult for you. i can't even imagine what is going through your head and heart. i just hope you are showing yourself kindness! You deserve it and you also need to understand you had no way to know or see the future and what choices your friend would make. Show yourself some extra kindness!

 

[Gonz]

True. Talking in the sense of really communicatiing is not easy nor is writing. As humans moved away from where we apparently started, I think we also lost the ability to communicate in ways other than speech. Like right now you cannot see my expressions, nor my body language, and I cannot ask anyone for a hug or a hand to hold for a minute. As huge as the population is, its overall ethos has become tight and narrow and mean. We are losing ourselves.

Exactly. Talking is easy, too easy. Really communicating is almost impossible

 

[KM76710]

Exactly. Talking is easy, too easy. Really communicating is almost impossible

And this is a great spot to get in some of that communication. It is most sad to hear about the loss of your friend.

 

[seabird]

And this is a great spot to get in some of that communication. It is most sad to hear about the loss of your friend.

Thank you.
I'm going to be missing that voice of his. I don't know if I'll get past the regret that I didn't check on him. (If only, if only, if only)

It is a great spot to be communicating safely. I'm often uplifted by the dialogue here.

 

[may71]

I don't know if I'll get past the regret that I didn't check on him. (If only, if only, if only)

I think that's the way people usually respond when a friend or loved one commits suicide. Realistically though, checking on him at best might have delayed an attempt, but probably wouldn't have prevented it from happening eventually.

Hugs Seabird

 

[seabird]

Objectively put, @may71 . Thank you for your kindness in posting this, and the hugs. They also help.

 

[seabird]

It's not okay that you're gone. I'm not mad at you really, but you should've asked one of us for help.

 

[seabird]

how petty this is of me but I'm scared of going to the memorial. I figure I'm not welcome at all.

 

[SillyOldBear]

Why wouldn't you be welcome. One of the very sad things about suicide is the fact that, if the person has decided to take his own life, he will do it. It might be put off for a bit, but we really cannot stop someone from ending their life. I once read about two psychologists who were suicidal. They made a pact to reach out to the other when things got really bad. But one of them didn't. In those last moments, it seems that all other thoughts vanish. Ending life is the only thought that remains. Please be gentle on yourself. I hope you will attend the memorial. It may be a time for you to begin healing and forgiving.