Difficult situation, not sure what to do

[Barrels of monkeys]

I wasn’t completely sure what category best suited this. Im a bit nervous as the person mentioned is a member on this site too.

My partner has complained about feeling upset/lonely sitting in their room doing nothing so they’ve been meeting with friends for ages after school. Im glad they’re out and not sat inside alone and all upset dont get me wrong its just the fact that when they go out im put in the same situation.
They’re the only person i talk to as i have no friends so when they’re out i have nobody to talk to and nothing to do for hours and they know that. I just dont think its completely fair. I obviously dont want to stop them from seeing their friends if they’re upset and need to get out of the house though so its difficult.
I really look forward to calling them when im home from school but every day the past week they’ve been out and unable to call until much later.
And even when we do call they always sound very bored now.
I feel like im being avoided or something. That and the fact they always seem to have enough time to go on twitter during school but never enough time to text me back when that never used to be an issue earlier in the relationship.
Im not sure, i guess i dont feel as cared for as i used to and that they prefer their friends to me now.

 

[PurpleWolf08]

It seems like this person is maybe not the best influence. They lean on you when they need support, but they never support you when you need it. Is there a way for you to branch out and find other friends? Or to build a better support network in real life?

 

[Barrels of monkeys]

It seems like this person is maybe not the best influence. They lean on you when they need support, but they never support you when you need it. Is there a way for you to branch out and find other friends? Or to build a better support network in real life?

Thank you for replying.
They do help me when i need it so I promise its not completely one sided all the time.
But im not sure, i’d have to wait until im in university to find friends in real life. (Im in my first year of sixth form doing a levels right now, so that’d be a 2< year wait) Everyone at school has been in the same friend groups since year 7 and it’d be difficult for me to join one.
I do have people to hang out with during lunch but nobody really ever talks to me outside of school and we never meet up so its incredibly lonely for me when i cant talk to my partner. (Those people have been pretty horrible to me in the past too so i’d rather not call them “friends”).

I think i’d have to settle for making internet friends for now, but i even struggle with that as i dont know where to look. I’d say im pretty good with keeping a conversation going it just seems nobody ever wants to talk to me.

 

[Barrels of monkeys]

They’re out right now actually.
I hate the feeling i get in my stomach whenever they say they’re going out with their friends, it makes me feel so toxic.

 

[PurpleWolf08]

Thank you for replying.
They do help me when i need it so I promise its not completely one sided all the time.
But im not sure, i’d have to wait until im in university to find friends in real life. (Im in my first year of sixth form doing a levels right now, so that’d be a 2< year wait) Everyone at school has been in the same friend groups since year 7 and it’d be difficult for me to join one.
I do have people to hang out with during lunch but nobody really ever talks to me outside of school and we never meet up so its incredibly lonely for me when i cant talk to my partner. (Those people have been pretty horrible to me in the past too so i’d rather not call them “friends”).

I think i’d have to settle for making internet friends for now, but i even struggle with that as i dont know where to look. I’d say im pretty good with keeping a conversation going it just seems nobody ever wants to talk to me.

I think you might benefit from that chat a little. You could meet some more people. I would say that reaching out to see if you might fit in with some of these friend groups is worth a shot. Whats the worst that could happen? Do you do any after school activities? You could find friends thru stuff like that. It seems like you are relying on your partner a lot. Is there anyone you talk other than your partner? It may be worth your while to find a therapist that you trust if you do not already have one. Just so you could have someone to talk to who will not judge you.

 

[Barrels of monkeys]

I think you might benefit from that chat a little. You could meet some more people. I would say that reaching out to see if you might fit in with some of these friend groups is worth a shot. Whats the worst that could happen? Do you do any after school activities? You could find friends thru stuff like that. It seems like you are relying on your partner a lot. Is there anyone you talk other than your partner? It may be worth your while to find a therapist that you trust if you do not already have one. Just so you could have someone to talk to who will not judge you.

Yeah I suppose i do rely on my partner way too much. Im not sure how not to if im being honest though.
My anxiety stops me from partaking in any clubs etc and talking to any new people to be honest, i get really overwhelmed. My partner introduced me to one of their friends but after a few weeks of texting i eventually blocked her as i simply couldn’t handle it.
I really want to get into sports but i worry its too late and i’d be too anxious
Im not sure what to do

 

[PurpleWolf08]

Yeah I suppose i do rely on my partner way too much. Im not sure how not to if im being honest though.
My anxiety stops me from partaking in any clubs etc and talking to any new people to be honest, i get really overwhelmed. My partner introduced me to one of their friends but after a few weeks of texting i eventually blocked her as i simply couldn’t handle it.
I really want to get into sports but i worry its too late and i’d be too anxious
Im not sure what to do

Something you could try is exposure therapy. I would also say that you would probably want to see a therapist.
One of the things that I try to keep in mind is to just go for it. Sometimes, you need to just shut out the anxiety when possible and just do what ever it is you are trying to do.