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Disillusionment can be a good thing??

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Aspiring techie
Who'd a thunk it?

I think I was very mentally ill for a long time. I was stuck in really unhealthy ways of thinking and eventually in 2016 and very early 2017 it got so bad that everything was triggering to me; even common, everyday words caused me to despair and each time I despaired the...thoughts of despair became more...low quality and dysfunctional. Then, last spring, this just sorta changed, I got so much better, and I have a pretty good idea why!

You see, ever since I was a teenager I had these spiritual beliefs. I believed in life after death, I believed we were all grand spiritual beings who could be held to really high standards. I believed I would live forever, as would my loved ones. My reasons for believing these things were, well, not very good reasons. I basically believed it because I wanted it to be true, having skimmed through online articles about supposed evidence for the afterlife (mediums, near death experiences etc) and accepting it at face value because of that desire most of us have to live forever, or for our loved ones to live forever and be happy.
Last year I finally did my research and realized that this supposed evidence doesn't hold up. At all.
Which initially was a depressing realization but THEN! My other unhealthy ways of thinking, my depression, my often bizarre and rude/apparently cold behaviour, it all just started unraveling. The spiritual beliefs were the lynchpin.

They weren't the *cause* of my mental health problems but they were the foundation upon which so many of them were built.

I'm 27 now. I sat around waiting to die until I was 26. I thought that I would live forever. I was short with my family, I never had time for them, I was extremely ungrateful,while my parents did so much for me so that I would be happy. Went along with one particularly crazy, out of touch and childish idea and spent a lot of money on it, because they thought it would make me happy. I never fully appreciated them and I thought I didn't have to value my time with them because we'll have eternity together.
I thought I didn't have to life my life here because I don't want to live this life and I'll have forever in a better world anyway.

I thought belief in life after death and objective, spiritual meaning in the universe was a comfort but in reality it just kept me from living my life while I had the chance.

Having realized that

  1. We're not these grand spiritual beings who have forever with each other.
  2. We don't consciously decide to think our thoughts, or create them. They just happen.
  3. Our decisions are based on thoughts.
  4. This is my only chance to be conscious, my only chance to be anything.
  5. I only have limited time with my parents, this is my only chance to be a good son and show them I appreciate them.
  6. I need to live NOW, not later.
has made my life and mental health so much better. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm not suicidal. I'm not sitting around waiting to die. And I appreciate not only my parents and family fully now but I appreciate most people, and every display of kindness from them. Because it's not expected. Not in this universe where everything wants to kill us. Not when you consider the evolutionary processes that made us what we are.

I think there's a point in here, albeit a controversial one. Spiritual beliefs in themselves aren't a symptom of mental illness, but at least in my case they just made me ill and kept me from living my life.

I'm not claiming to be 100% healthy and rational now, but there has been a SIGNIFICANT improvement! :)


Pretty rhymes break angels.
That's usually what religion seems to do, cloud people's judgement. I'm glad you found freedom from it. It's always better to ask questions than simply accept something and then find out it's full of holes and lacking in true scientific research.
You'd a thunk it
Looks like yr doing a bit of growing up, good for you, some people never do it. Spiritual beliefs are like medications, there's lots of them, some work for some but not for others, sometimes you need to change, and then there's times you don't need them at all, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, like medications you may need to reach out for some spiritual sustenance as you get older and possibly wiser.
Love and Light
Searching everywhere for spiritual Masters is one of the greatest temptations on the spiritual pathway. At the end of this quest lies the discovery that the only truly reliable and trustworthy is alive and well in the hearts and souls of all human beings. This Master is part of us therefore closer than our own hands and feet, waiting to be called upon. Nothing more precious can be found in the whole wide world around us than in our own inner temple. Through approaching its serenity, peace and tranquillity by humbly kneeling before it, the greatest treasure and perfect gift can be found by trusted servants of the Highest forces of life.
That's usually what religion seems to do, cloud people's judgement. I'm glad you found freedom from it. It's always better to ask questions than simply accept something and then find out it's full of holes and lacking in true scientific research.
I believe that the main function the religions of our world had to fulfil up to the present time, was keeping humankind away from God's wisdom and truth. The Age of Aquarius is now bringing it to help us to set ourselves free from the false beliefs, prejudices and superstitions of the past.


SF Supporter
That was an interesting read, thanks.

In a way I’m the opposite. Both my parents are/were pretty strict Atheists and it was just the flip side of the Theist coin. I do think I had an advantage over those with very religious families, but science lags a lot, so their views were almost 17th century ;)

In my 20s I formed my own spiritual ideas and gravitated towards certain “religions”. I’m in my 40s now and it’s still a work-in-progress, which is always a good idea when it comes to belief systems, I think.
Wise ones, whenever someone brings a new item of spiritual wisdom and truth to their attention, listen carefully to what their inner guidance has to say about it. If something does not fit into their present belief system, they refuse to stick their heads into the sand in ostrich fashion and pretend that what they are hearing is untrue and a load of nonsense. They know that this does not make any item of information disappear and appreciate that it is in the nature of spiritual awakening that any existing store of beliefs is relentlessly in need of updating and expanding. And so, in their search for spiritual growth in wisdom and understanding, they are willing to let go of some – maybe all – of their long held and often cherished perceptions of what truth is.

In contrast to this young and inexperienced souls frequently stick their heads into the sand. They are doing this for the simple reason that they are as yet unable to recognise when a part of God’s wisdom and truth that is new to them comes their way. When such youngsters have matured into spiritual adulthood, they too will be able to comprehend and accept the ground rules for human life on the Earth plane. They too will then know that: we are all responsible for ourselves and also our world. Whatever befalls us in our present existence was brought about by the Karma that was created by our very own thoughts, words and actions of previous lifetimes. In this way everything that is in our world now was brought about by all of us together. We are all accountable for its present state and therefore expected to do our share of putting things right again and doing our best to make Mother Earth a more peaceful and harmonious place for all lifeforms she holds in her loving embrace.

Every right brings with it a duty and, as soon as we have become sufficiently evolved, for every lifetime we are allowed to spend here we are under the moral obligation of looking after and caring for our planet. This enables us to make amends for all kinds of damage we have done to it, in this lifetime and all previous ones. Each small effort we make is an expression of gratitude towards Mother Earth for enduring our presence, for sharing her abundance with us and for her sheer endless patience and hospitality she has always shown to us.

Changing The World
Do not try to change the world,
For you would fail.
Try to love it instead
And lo, you will see that
The world is changed
And that forever.

Sri Chinmoy

* * *

If we try to change our world
Without first changing ourselves, we are sure to fail.
But when we come to terms with its true purpose
And perceive it in a new light, we learn to love it and
For us, quite magically, the world changes forever.

As our inner eyes open, we begin to recognise
The good in all people and situations.
Our heart and soul then fills with compassion and love
For those who, trapped in the darkness of
Their ignorance and greed, still insist on creating suffering,
Maybe for millions, and therefore negative Karma for themselves.
We no longer sit in judgement over anyone
And that helps us to create ever more positive Karma
For ourselves and our world.

* * *​


Pretty rhymes break angels.
I love your input, and certainly agree with the points you've made. To be wise is to keep an open mind about new information instead of being tied up in your own biases, refusing to let anything else in. Thanks for the enlightening read. :)
And that's what we should be doing on our quest for God's sacred wisdom and truth. Refusing to take anything at face value or for granted and listen to our inner guidance, the living God within, whether is say: 'Yes, this is true!' or 'Outdated false belief.'


SF Supporter
You know why. Because science is always a work in progress. There's always new information and new things to be discovered. Science doesn't just settle with what's convenient. It's always searching and reseraching for actual facts.
I should have said “popular science lags a lot”, as in what the general public thinks of as science compared to what is being discovered. So I totally agree but the freaky thing about it is that what’s being discovered now (not that my little brain can comprehend it!) is apparently pointing toward things that certain religions such as Buddhism have been saying for a couple of thousand years. General science is still very mechanistic/materialistic but the latest science isn’t. The most often used example is Quantum physics (things behave differently depending on how they are observed) but I read recently that even that’s getting old. I’m quite out of my depth here lol but you get my gist :D and the latest scientific stuff is really exciting. Worm Holes, Black Holes, Dark Matter, Parallel Universes etc. Scientists would cringe at my explanation haha.
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Pretty rhymes break angels.
And that's what we should be doing on our quest for God's sacred wisdom and truth. Refusing to take anything at face value or for granted and listen to our inner guidance, the living God within, whether is say: 'Yes, this is true!' or 'Outdated false belief.'
Interesting. "The God within. " I like that.
‘Being part of and at one with the Great Father/Mother of all life, your soul is psychic and therefore as familiar with the past as the present and future. The Great Mother is the soul of the whole of Creation. She is the wise one within who knows the answers to every one of your questions. All She desires is to protect the human race against destroying itself. She has always been with you and part of you. When you laugh, she enjoys herself with you. And when you are sad and lonely or in pain, She suffers with you. We speak most earnestly to all of you and urge you to bring forth and develop the highest and noblest qualities of the Great Mother. The Virgin Mary of the Jesus legend as the mother of God is but one of Her many symbols.’

Extract from a teaching of the White Eagle group of spirit guides in
‘Spiritual Wisdom And Understanding A Growing Organism’

* * *​


Aspiring techie
right but getting away from all that "spirit guides" stuff is what made me get better which is what this thread is about :p

Edit: didn't mean that the thread is about me but ah well I suck at clarifying
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