Feeling Suicial

[GreySoDark]

Hi.
I don’t feel like my life is going anywhere. Therapy is good but it doesn’t help in a big way. I think my biggest problem is that I really don’t care to be alive. I don’t care if I died tomorrow. I think the time I will take my life will come soon because I don’t think there is a life that I would like to live. Maybe I just want to die.

 

[Anchorchain]

I hope that you find a direction and purpose to live......you're too young to quit living.
Maybe set a postponement, like when you turn 30.....that's 8 years right? If your life still isn't going anywhere then you can reconsider checking out.
It's just a thought.......actually that plan kept me alive through my 20's and I'm glad now that it did.

 

[TragicReality]

Do you have any ideas on what might change that would make you want to live? Like, if you had a different job, different education on something if you study...
The internet I have found has been helpful.. I really didn't pay attention in school very much, so these last few years I look up things I've always ignored or didn't care to know.

I'm sorry you feel this way, I wonder what makes you not care to live? what troubles you the most at this time in your life if I may ask?

I wish you a better day soon @GreySoDark

 

[TragicReality]

I'm sorry, I just looked at your previous posts. My advice or ideas wont be of help. I just don't want to see someone hurt themselves or try to commit suicide. I too, have been there and tried. I guess I feel better today, and I thought I could help but I have no wise words.... I can say you seem very intelligent in your posts. Life isn't fair. I do hope you feel better in some way here on this forum. I've found many empathetic kind listeners here.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry that things are so bad.

 

[Astrid78]

How are feeling today?
Hugs @GreySoDark

 

[iloverachel]

I can relate, i wish i knew how to get out of that dark mental state of mind.
I hope you find life worth living again somehow my friend

 

[nicktheundoer]

Hi.
I don’t feel like my life is going anywhere. Therapy is good but it doesn’t help in a big way. I think my biggest problem is that I really don’t care to be alive. I don’t care if I died tomorrow. I think the time I will take my life will come soon because I don’t think there is a life that I would like to live. Maybe I just want to die.

Hugs..It seems like you're going through a difficult period rn..hey but things can turn around..You can find the joy in little things..hugs hugs hugs

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Hi.
I don’t feel like my life is going anywhere. Therapy is good but it doesn’t help in a big way. I think my biggest problem is that I really don’t care to be alive. I don’t care if I died tomorrow. I think the time I will take my life will come soon because I don’t think there is a life that I would like to live. Maybe I just want to die.

If you are having trouble seeing the good things in life, you may want to talk to a doctor or therapist. Because there are just as many wonderful things in life as terrible things - depression just makes it hard for us to see them, and also the human brain is hard-wired in some ways to notice the negative things, like threats. However, the glass really is half full. Art, music, literature - all created by humans. But if you're tired of humans get out in nature and spend some time with trees and birds and animals. Go swimming in the ocean or climb a mountain or parasail through the sky. Life is full of possibility.

I did read some of your previous posts and it sounds like you have decent friends and possibly family. Have you told these people how you are feeling?

Perhaps you could explain why you have no interest in living. What is it you think that other people have that you won't be able to achieve? What careers interest you? Many people are not able to get into their #1 career choice but can find something else.

 

[GreySoDark]

If you are having trouble seeing the good things in life, you may want to talk to a doctor or therapist. Because there are just as many wonderful things in life as terrible things - depression just makes it hard for us to see them, and also the human brain is hard-wired in some ways to notice the negative things, like threats. However, the glass really is half full. Art, music, literature - all created by humans. But if you're tired of humans get out in nature and spend some time with trees and birds and animals. Go swimming in the ocean or climb a mountain or parasail through the sky. Life is full of possibility.

I did read some of your previous posts and it sounds like you have decent friends and possibly family. Have you told these people how you are feeling?

Perhaps you could explain why you have no interest in living. What is it you think that other people have that you won't be able to achieve? What careers interest you? Many people are not able to get into their #1 career choice but can find something else.

Hi. Thanks for the reply.
I am currently visiting my 3rd therapist, one that I am comfortable opening up to. I am also taking my second antidepressant. I have been taking antidepressants for thepast 5 years. I dont think good/ bad in life is 50/50. Sure there are good things in life but there is far more of the bad ones. I have tried to kill myself several times, the first time was when I was 13. Maybe it would be for the best if I had died that day, at least for me. There had been nothing since then that would make things worth it. I think my life will end with me taking and and the older I am the more I am ok with that. I just hope I wouont suffer too much before the day comes.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Hi. Thanks for the reply.
I am currently visiting my 3rd therapist, one that I am comfortable opening up to. I am also taking my second antidepressant. I have been taking antidepressants for thepast 5 years. I dont think good/ bad in life is 50/50. Sure there are good things in life but there is far more of the bad ones. I have tried to kill myself several times, the first time was when I was 13. Maybe it would be for the best if I had died that day, at least for me. There had been nothing since then that would make things worth it. I think my life will end with me taking and and the older I am the more I am ok with that. I just hope I wouont suffer too much before the day comes.

I'm glad you are seeing a therapist and I hope it helps. I'm concerned that your attitude may be making it impossible to see the good things in your life though. If you're waiting for life to prove itself with "something that will make it worth it" that's the wrong attitude. You need to change your thinking, not your circumstances. Have your read anything about Buddhism? Buddhism teaches that suffering in life is inevitable due to things like illness and death-- However you can alleviate your suffering by training your mind, through practices such as meditation. Brain scans on Buddhist monks have shown brain activity consistent with a reduction in aggression and fear, and consistent with calm and happiness. You can look at YouTube at neurologists talking about the brain changes that occur with consistent practice of meditation.

You can see from my signature how many medications I've tried. But I never gave up. You're wrong about life not being 50/50. Each individual's life may not have that ratio, but the overall system of life on Earth has to be balanced to acheive equilibrium. Go out for a walk in the woods on a sunny day and you will see the stunning beauty of nature. If you can't do this, it's due to depression. Your brain is out of balance, not the world. You are only focusing on negative things. You are rejecting the positives. It's not your fault - but you can change it. Why not try? Some say if you end your life you just get sent back here. Why not try to make something amazing from your life? Improve your mindset. Help other people. Enjoy art and music and literature and dance. Since you're here, why not try?

 

[GreySoDark]

I think telling someone their way of looking at things is wrong is quite arrogant but maybe that’s just my wrong attitude.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

I think telling someone their way of looking at things is wrong is quite arrogant but maybe that’s just my wrong attitude.

So you read what I wrote and that's what you took from it? Wow. You really do focus on the negative.

At least I didn't call you arrogant, although you disagreed with my way of thinking as well.

I will no longer be responding to you.

Best wishes.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Do you think I responded to you for my own entertainment? I even read back in your previous posts which is why I commented on your relentless negativity. I did explain that depression makes it hard to see the positives. My only purpose was to try and help you. Do you ever think that the other people on a suicide site may have struggles of their own? You attack me for trying to help you. You have hurt me. Probably that will make you happy.

 

[GreySoDark]

Do you think I responded to you for my own entertainment? I even read back in your previous posts which is why I commented on your relentless negativity. My only purpose was to try and help you. Do you ever think that the other people on a suicide site may have struggles of their own? You attack me for trying to help you. You have hurt me. Probably that will make you happy.

If you didnt wanna be hurt you should not have attacked my viewpoints. Your "helping" isnt helpful. I hoped you would see your arrogance but i was wrong. I did not ask for your help and for you to read my previous replies and yet you throw this at me as if i should ow you something and then try to make me feel guilty for showing you your BS. If you get offended by this then its probably best you stop replying to my comments.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

If you didnt wanna be hurt you should not have attacked my viewpoints. Your "helping" isnt helpful. I hoped you would see your arrogance but i was wrong. I did not ask for your help and for you to read my previous replies and yet you throw this at me as if i should ow you something and then try to make me feel guilty for showing you your BS. If you get offended by this then its probably best you stop replying to my comments.

Your viewpoints are making you want to kill yourself. Does it not occur to you that me "attacking" your viewpoints is wanting to save your life? But never mind. I'm done.

 

[GreySoDark]

Your viewpoints are making you want to kill yourself. Does it not occur to you that me "attacking" your viewpoints is wanting to save your life? But never mind. I'm done.

saving life is not inherently right. If you dont think so then we fundamentally disagree. I hope to die you want to save me when I dint ask for it. If my viewpoits cause me to die then I am glad I listened to them.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

saving life is not inherently right. If you dont think so then we fundamentally disagree. I hope to die you want to save me when I dint ask for it. If my viewpoits cause me to die then I am glad I listened to them.

This may not be the right site for you then as this is a pro-life site. Check the TOS or speak with a mod. I have reported this thread as awaiting review.

 

[Butterfly]

This thread is not productive so I am going to close the thread to further replies/