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suicidal feelings

  1. alixer

    I'm scared that I don't care anymore to get better

    I am in a rut. I took a few months off to care for my father while he recovered from cancer. Now it's time for me to go back to work, but I don't want to. I've wanted to leave for a while now. I have the option to take an immersive 3-month course. I used to look forward to the idea of this...
  2. M

    Why should a person like me live?

    I am almost 30 and unemployed. My experience of life has never been that great. I am really shy, introverted, anxious, very pessimistic and an extremely negative thinker. I have no idea what I should do in life and I have no real interests. I have never been in love, never been in a...
  3. W

    What's the difference?

    Is wanting to die because the pain is too much the same as wanting to disappear? Sorry if this is not a clear question but I'll try and explain. I just noticed that most people that are suicidal have so much pain that they want an end to it. I for one am not in the same kind of pain that one...
  4. W

    Help me find direction

    I can't help but shake this feeling that I will eventually give up. I don't have anything in particular that I'm passionate about. I'm 22 and haven't started studying anything. I had no real job. I don't want a job either. I just want to do nothing. I've tried getting help and it's been almost a...
  5. adeadhikikomori

    I Need To Vent

    Hello this is only my second thread on this site and i feel like i need to vent this is probably the most appropriate place to do so so i decided to make a thread here. Anyway i want to start off by saying that i hate the western Neet and Hikikomori communities that exist on the internet why...
  6. CoffeeArtist

    I'm not getting better

    My parents think that I am getting better, nearing the end of depression, but little do they know how I am still suicidal. I can't tell them because they'll be hurt yet again and the entire cycle of guilt would be repeated. Meds are working, undoubtedly, but now that my self-written book is...
  7. Freyja


    I wanted to post "how I feel today" but it got a little longer than usual and actually reflects how I feel every day despite everything I write daily in that thread. Sad, alone, scared, lost, empty ... I just don't see how it can ever get better. It can only get worse. I feel like I'm hanging on...
  8. faeful

    I tried my very best

    I always do try to contain such negative feelings within. I wasn't even in the site for awhile. I tried to do what I loved again and for some time, I actually felt a little alive. But like always, there has to be a price for that quick happiness. Now I'm back to square one again. Thinking about...
  9. NRW24

    I don't want to live

    I am a failure and a disappointment, I am just living here to waste my family's resources. I likely will never find a job. Nor I will ever love someone or be loved by someone. My parents hate me and I hate myself. I don't see why I should continue. I'll never be happy. I'll never make another...
  10. K

    Daily headaches that left me bedridden most of the time...8 years

    After the birth of my twins, I had chronic Daily headaches. They were all day everyday. I had one long headache for 7 years. I saw many doctors that misdiagnosed me. The headaches, nausea, neck pain, confusion at times left me unfuctional. After 7 years I was diagnosed with a Cerebral...
  11. J

    Birthdays, Depression and Suicide - How to cope up?

    Does anyone feel anxious, more depressed, and tired in general during the upcoming days of their birthday? My birthday is coming up in a couple days and I have no idea how to cope with it. I have this crippling fear in my heart regarding my future and I just can't bear to be present on my...
  12. TheChimeraMonster

    How do I manage to live with this feeling...?

    Yeah, i'm in the bottom again, every piece of my soul is suffering, and i have no idea how to get out of bed today. I have to go to the college, i have to work, i need to be useful, at least a little bit. But, how can I? This feeling is pushing me down again, i feel weak, and i just want to...
  13. leoleh

    Episodically Returning Death wishes

    Tonight is one of these nights where very strong intentions and thoughts about killing myself are returning. In my mind i'm hanging around a lot in my past, in my future, the self i would like to be and the self that i am. I have just realized too how strong these moods correlate with my life...
  14. leoleh

    Episodic abuse of father in childhood - longterm effects?

    Hello dear forum members, From time to time again i have days/nights where everything i wanna be is dead. Sometimes this feeling is so strong that if i would have <mod edit - method>but anyways my will to cease to exist is sometimes just unnaturally strong mixed with deep depressions about my...
  15. BlueTyger

    Dealing with guilt

    I'm not sure if this thread fits here but I coudn't find a better category. Also sorry for posting so much lately, lots of stuff going on... In the last months, I have constantly been feeling guilty. Guilty about being alive, about bothering people, about the most tiny and meaningless thing...
  16. A red teddy bear

    I feel useless

    I just feel like I can’t do anything right with my life, yesterday my mom sent me a bunch of messages telling me stuff that my sister has to do and then now she starts screaming at me for not being able to say everything even though what she told me that she has to do she had never said anything...
  17. Justatiredsoul

    Want it to end

    I don't know what I'm doing Today I had atleast 6 flashbacks the last One it was happening all over again and I couldn't breathe I was being chocked I'm NOT strong enough to keep Going or to live with anymore trauma I've taken enough Valium n pain relief to nock out a Horse but just feel...
  18. Rockclimbinggirl


    I have been visualizing various methods more and more lately. I am not sure why. Parts of my life are going well, and parts of it aren't. I am hating intrusive memories more and more. I don't want to carry on like this :(
  19. Rockclimbinggirl

    Feeling more depressed lately

    I have been struggling with feeling more depressed lately. Just want to stay in bed and be asleep all day. Just haven't been feeling that motivated lately. I also came close to "method" on Monday. I really don't know why I've been feeling like this lately. Just don't care about life as...
  20. Rockclimbinggirl

    I do not see a point in trying

    I just do not. I tried to spend as much time as possible asleep this past weekend. Being asleep, gives me a break. I am hating being awake. I cannot get my brain to stop thinking about abuse.