Every day i cant stop thinking about it. Its not that i really want to kill myself, its just that i dont see the point in living anymore. Kinda like it wouldnt matter if i die, like when im walking down the street i think about <Mod Edit - Methods> just because i can and that it wouldnt matter. But i have a boyfriend. And i know if i did kill myself that it would destroy him. He knows about it and we talk sometimes. Recently ive been lying in bed considering <mod edit - methods> just going to sleep and never waking up. its almost frustrating because suicide was almost my final option. i always told myself that ill try and carry on and if things do just keep getting worse then i can kill myself and itll be fine. but now i cant and i just worry about my life even more because i cant kill myself because i dont want to hurt him.
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