Don't really know how to start this post. Helen is a wonderful 93 year old woman who has been married to her husband longer then I have been alive. She has survived breast cancer, macular degeneration, diabetes and the death of a son. I think of her as the lady with the sparkling eyes. They shine so whenever she smiles.
But she doesn't smile much any more. She is near death. Osteoporosis has led to so many broken bones that they will never heal. She will never be out of pain. She is almost blind and deaf. Her mind is failing.
She is house bound. Her husband, Ernie, rarely leaves her side. Long term care insurance is providing trained people to help care for her at home. I visited them about three weeks ago, and again today. She has gotten so much worse. She did not know who I was. Just a few minutes after getting her hair combed, she could not remember that it was done. She can't walk alone. Shower alone, or even go to the bathroom alone. Ernie knows these are her last days. I thought I was too angry and cynical to cry anymore. I was wrong. I am crying as I write this.
But I am so angry. I met these loving people at my church. They have helped me so many times. They placed God before all else in their lives. I will never understand how God can allow such people to suffer like this. I know it is not up to me to understand. But I am angry. This should not happen.
But she doesn't smile much any more. She is near death. Osteoporosis has led to so many broken bones that they will never heal. She will never be out of pain. She is almost blind and deaf. Her mind is failing.
She is house bound. Her husband, Ernie, rarely leaves her side. Long term care insurance is providing trained people to help care for her at home. I visited them about three weeks ago, and again today. She has gotten so much worse. She did not know who I was. Just a few minutes after getting her hair combed, she could not remember that it was done. She can't walk alone. Shower alone, or even go to the bathroom alone. Ernie knows these are her last days. I thought I was too angry and cynical to cry anymore. I was wrong. I am crying as I write this.
But I am so angry. I met these loving people at my church. They have helped me so many times. They placed God before all else in their lives. I will never understand how God can allow such people to suffer like this. I know it is not up to me to understand. But I am angry. This should not happen.
I don't know if it's true or not, but I have an answer for this which helps me to deal with such cases. I think the souls of some very good people are just too good to carry any bad karma/bad energy/ sin (whichever matches your belief better) with themselves to the next step (again this next step can be whatever matches your belief ) So, they have this period to get kind of pure and ready for a very positive step. This is the best explanation that I've manage to come up to make it easier for myself to deal with such cases, and I wish it will be true at least for Helen's case
* Thinking of you.
And I finally found a use for Facebook. Stole some of her pictures from it.