-
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.
Help
- Thread starter LumberJack
- Start date
@seabird - I'm alright. Trying to do less complaining and more of the things that help me manage my depression. I meditated today. I'm doing chores trying to be productive. It's hard when everything seems so pointless, but if I can do it for ten minutes at a time, that will be better than getting nothing done.
For my part I don't believe we are meant to go through anything alone. Ideally as kids our parents are there for us when we need them and so we learn to be there for ourselves and thus never really "alone," but at least able to support ourselves. Unfortunately so many people didn't have supportive parents and so we never learned what that "safe place" is like so we can't be that for ourselves until we do. In that case a friend or a therapist, I believe, is needed. And when we don't have that, we come here.
Going along with that I think that if you try and exercise or do deep breathing and meditation, those are ways to "get in touch" with that secure base if you have it. If you don't have it, then IMO you need to find a way to connect with other people to create it. For me, since I just have therapy once a week, I go to spin class as often as I can to make it between sessions. It's perfect for me: I don't have to talk to anyone, but I get to move in sync with the music and everyone else in the room. It makes me feel connected and alive without having to be super vulnerable. As an added bonus it seems like cardio is the cure to brain fog, for me anyway.
For other people that might be yoga, or martial arts. It could even be meditation and deep breathing but I think you need to find a group to do it with. At the very least it can just be a Youtube video of a practitioner you like, or maybe someone on an app like Calm. Most therapists should also be able to guide you through those activities. Bottom line I think it has to involve either (A) talking about how you feel, (B) getting in touch with your body, (C) getting in touch with your senses, or (D) moving your body (or some combination of those).
Humans are social creatures. Never in our history (no matter whether you believe we evolved or were created) have we succeeded as individuals. We are hard-wired to need others until and unless we can learn to be there for ourselves.
And if you absolutely really cannot bring yourself to do an activity or call a friend or see a therapist, many countries have helplines. In the USA it's 988.
Going along with that I think that if you try and exercise or do deep breathing and meditation, those are ways to "get in touch" with that secure base if you have it. If you don't have it, then IMO you need to find a way to connect with other people to create it. For me, since I just have therapy once a week, I go to spin class as often as I can to make it between sessions. It's perfect for me: I don't have to talk to anyone, but I get to move in sync with the music and everyone else in the room. It makes me feel connected and alive without having to be super vulnerable. As an added bonus it seems like cardio is the cure to brain fog, for me anyway.
For other people that might be yoga, or martial arts. It could even be meditation and deep breathing but I think you need to find a group to do it with. At the very least it can just be a Youtube video of a practitioner you like, or maybe someone on an app like Calm. Most therapists should also be able to guide you through those activities. Bottom line I think it has to involve either (A) talking about how you feel, (B) getting in touch with your body, (C) getting in touch with your senses, or (D) moving your body (or some combination of those).
Humans are social creatures. Never in our history (no matter whether you believe we evolved or were created) have we succeeded as individuals. We are hard-wired to need others until and unless we can learn to be there for ourselves.
And if you absolutely really cannot bring yourself to do an activity or call a friend or see a therapist, many countries have helplines. In the USA it's 988.
Feeling that everyone is mad at you is so distressing, is it really true though? You are a kind person and I can't imagine you cutting a swath of pain through so many people.
Maybe you are being super hard on yourself?
I don't really know, just throwing this out there.
Here for you if you need a chat
Maybe you are being super hard on yourself?
I don't really know, just throwing this out there.
Here for you if you need a chat
@seabird - I made a mistake at work and I catastrophized it into āEveryone hates meā. This became a black hole sucking me down emotionally.
I spoke with psychiatrist and had a conversation with a friend. I had forgotten to take my meds for 3-4 days, but I am taking them again now.
Iām doing better now, but I still feel raw and I have intrusive thoughts about how worthless I am and how I should kill myself. Iām starting a new med which is a mood stabilizer. I wonāt know if it works for 4-6 weeks but at least itās something.
I spoke with psychiatrist and had a conversation with a friend. I had forgotten to take my meds for 3-4 days, but I am taking them again now.
Iām doing better now, but I still feel raw and I have intrusive thoughts about how worthless I am and how I should kill myself. Iām starting a new med which is a mood stabilizer. I wonāt know if it works for 4-6 weeks but at least itās something.
I can understsnd that reaction completely @LumberJack . I've gone through it so many times both in relationships & work. I wishyou the best in figuring out how to step past it. I still fall into it.
That is good you realized what was going on, and spoke to people. I hope the med change is just right.
hugs
That is good you realized what was going on, and spoke to people. I hope the med change is just right.
hugs
I'm continuing to improve, but also my suicidal impulse is still there. I don't really think I am going to follow through, but this constant resisting of the urge is draining. So it's like I'm just mildly depressed (or dysthymic if you like big words), and I really, really, reallyreallyreally don't want to see tomorrow.
At least I am no longer miserable. I noticed today that my mind was doing more than just finding fault with situations. For example I got stuck in traffic due to an accident, and normally I would be frustrated that I couldn't get to my destination on time, but this time, I was thankful that at least I wasn't involved in the accident.
This is the way I try to find positive things - every situation could suck a little bit more than it currently does, and it's a positive that it doesn't.
I'm worried about relapsing on drugs because I feel so cavalier about surviving. I wish I could care, but I don't, and that disturbs me. I started drugs in the first place as a half-assed suicide attempt and the danger that I would return to that is always there.
At least I am no longer miserable. I noticed today that my mind was doing more than just finding fault with situations. For example I got stuck in traffic due to an accident, and normally I would be frustrated that I couldn't get to my destination on time, but this time, I was thankful that at least I wasn't involved in the accident.
This is the way I try to find positive things - every situation could suck a little bit more than it currently does, and it's a positive that it doesn't.
I'm worried about relapsing on drugs because I feel so cavalier about surviving. I wish I could care, but I don't, and that disturbs me. I started drugs in the first place as a half-assed suicide attempt and the danger that I would return to that is always there.
@Lady Wolfshead Iām already doing a worry period. I usually take some time after I meditate to face my intrusive thoughts and write them down. They cover more than suicidal thoughts, but not much more. Iām also trying to do a thought record based on David Burnsās work. Iām supposed to identify the feelings and intensity, rate them, find the cognitive distortion, etc etc.
I feel really bad today. Iām trying to create a presentation for work, and I am feeling overwhelmed. I have a problem sending that to my worry time because I start to worry again every time I think about the presentation. I have to do my regular work too. I am in this by my own fault; I procrastinated and now the pressure is on. I have to lead a meeting tomorrow with my presentation.
I have every reason to be confident, not nervous. I know what Iām talking about and I know my audience. So why am I panicking?
I have every reason to be confident, not nervous. I know what Iām talking about and I know my audience. So why am I panicking?
