• IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.

Hey another therapist

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#21
They do there job because they want to understand people and I know that moving on in the career takes priority ova helping one person..I speak ova and ova again and then have to start again again..
I know this one sincerely wants to help but doesn't know how. She doesn't understand why I have faced this problem so she questions the same things I do. Of course, she goes on with her life and I'm still stuck with mine
I went to a guy several years ago who spent more time talking about himself than wanting to listen to me. He kept saying he could help and he'd tell me what to do ...next time. Eventually I just stopped going. He didn't follow up. Nothing. I was simply a paycheck for him and a chance for him to brag about himself.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#22
I don't know if they realize how exhausting it is. I have told many ' if you can't help me, please find someone who can. I'm tired:. This is how I ended up with someone who can't help me. Because I'm an anomaly.
Leesa,

I am guessing that you tried to make connections with people in community as you mentioned trying everything. May I ask what you tried and why did it not work out?
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#23
Leesa,

I am guessing that you tried to make connections with people in community as you mentioned trying everything. May I ask what you tried and why did it not work out?
I don't know why it doesn't work out. I don't even know how far to go back. In school I did band and theatre but never had anyone to sit next to on the bus. I have worked but am usually left out of social engagements. When invited, I used to always go but would be ignored while there. I have volunteered. I joined a church ( bad idea and not true to myself ) I have gone to concerts alone. I have ' invited' myself when others have gone but am still left out. I have done volunteering with animals but only relate to the animals. I have gone to the gym both alone and exercise groups. I went to a football game with coworkers only to have them desert me during the last half. ( This was in the 90s.) I drove with two people. At half time one said she had a headache and they were going to get water so she could take something. I learned later they went to a bar to watch the second half of the game. They came by at the very end to pick me up. My other co-workers were spread throughout the stadium and I was panicking about how I would get home. Even strangers pointed out I was ditched. They weren't mean but seemed to feel sorry for me. I have tried meet ups. I love music and have made arrangements to meet fans via fan websites but I don't fit. I have done charity walks alone and with coworkers. I did the coffee house thing in college. I used to hang out at bookstores and record stores when I was younger. Met a guy I really liked who worked at a record store but feelings were not returned...I don't like bars or clubs. I've gone but I am always miserable. I come from a family of alcoholics and I don't drink. I become very frightened. That's a quick list. There would be more but would take forever and I use my phone for this.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#24
I don't know why it doesn't work out. I don't even know how far to go back. In school I did band and theatre but never had anyone to sit next to on the bus. I have worked but am usually left out of social engagements. When invited, I used to always go but would be ignored while there. I have volunteered. I joined a church ( bad idea and not true to myself ) I have gone to concerts alone. I have ' invited' myself when others have gone but am still left out. I have done volunteering with animals but only relate to the animals. I have gone to the gym both alone and exercise groups. I went to a football game with coworkers only to have them desert me during the last half. ( This was in the 90s.) I drove with two people. At half time one said she had a headache and they were going to get water so she could take something. I learned later they went to a bar to watch the second half of the game. They came by at the very end to pick me up. My other co-workers were spread throughout the stadium and I was panicking about how I would get home. Even strangers pointed out I was ditched. They weren't mean but seemed to feel sorry for me. I have tried meet ups. I love music and have made arrangements to meet fans via fan websites but I don't fit. I have done charity walks alone and with coworkers. I did the coffee house thing in college. I used to hang out at bookstores and record stores when I was younger. Met a guy I really liked who worked at a record store but feelings were not returned...I don't like bars or clubs. I've gone but I am always miserable. I come from a family of alcoholics and I don't drink. I become very frightened. That's a quick list. There would be more but would take forever and I use my phone for this.
Yep. You did it all. Your coworkers get off in being up on social ladder. That is why they ditch people. What attracts people? Money. Looks. Position. Other than that then likes congregate with likes.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#25
Yep. You did it all. Your coworkers get off in being up on social ladder. That is why they ditch people. What attracts people? Money. Looks. Position. Other than that then likes congregate with likes.
Do you have the energy to start a group? Be the leader of it? Or do something that people want as a side business to mingle with people like dig sitting?
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#26
Yep. You did it all. Your coworkers get off in being up on social ladder. That is why they ditch people. What attracts people? Money. Looks. Position. Other than that then likes congregate with likes.
When Iook back, I wasn't ugly. I was treated that way but way less attractive people had people. For a time my finances and position were the same, ie student. And I have co-workers now ( same position) with no trouble so it's not that. I just don't connect.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#27
When Iook back, I wasn't ugly. I was treated that way but way less attractive people had people. For a time my finances and position were the same, ie student. And I have co-workers now ( same position) with no trouble so it's not that. I just don't connect.
I can relate. But I do not know why people don’t want to be friends. Guess need to be very similar. Or meet a need for them.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#28
Do you have the energy to start a group? Be the leader of it? Or do something that people want as a side business to mingle with people like dig sitting?
No. Not enough energy besides the fact that we're in a pandemic and my mom is terminally ill. I tried to start a business while I was out of work during the recession but didn't have the confidence or finances needed. I have dog/ house sat a lot. People are big on asking me to take care of their pets while THEY get to live their lives.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#29
No. Not enough energy besides the fact that we're in a pandemic and my mom is terminally ill. I tried to start a business while I was out of work during the recession but didn't have the confidence or finances needed. I have dog/ house sat a lot. People are big on asking me to take care of their pets while THEY get to live their lives.
I see. Have you tried hospice for your mother. They can also be people to talk to
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#31
She doesn't need hospice at this time. I did join an online cancer support group but most people are in their 70s. There just isn't a place for me.
moth yes those 70 year cancer support groups are cliques. I am amazed at how rude they were.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#34
Leesa,
If you could pick what you want in life now what would it be? I mean concretely what would it look like
I would have a three bedroom home in a historical district with an amazing yard for dogs. I would have financial security, good health and good health care. A guy that loves me that I love back. Someone who shares my interests but who has their own interests. A couple of close friends. All of that is my jackpot and that is not unreasonable.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#35
I would have a three bedroom home in a historical district with an amazing yard for dogs. I would have financial security, good health and good health care. A guy that loves me that I love back. Someone who shares my interests but who has their own interests. A couple of close friends. All of that is my jackpot and that is not unreasonable.
Sounds good though. How about aiming fo people with mutual interests.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#36
Sounds good though. How about aiming fo people with mutual interests.
Mutual interests are listed in that. And all of those things I previously listed are interests, except church. Living in a historical home is an interest. I've even done historical home tours. Every February ( not this year) historical areas have an open house. A specific amount of homes sign up to be on the tour. They sell tickets and the funds go into the neighborhood. They also have a street fair. I just don't connect with people. That is the problem.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#37
Where can I meet 48-68 yo
Mutual interests are listed in that. And all of those things I previously listed are interests, except church. Living in a historical home is an interest. I've even done historical home tours. Every February ( not this year) historical areas have an open house. A specific amount of homes sign up to be on the tour. They sell tickets and the funds go into the neighborhood. They also have a street fair. I just don't connect with people. That is the problem.
You sound like a multifaceted interesting person. One that we all want to get to know. I used to like historical homes until I learned about all the maintenance problems
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#39
Where can I meet 48-68 yo


You sound like a multifaceted interesting person. One that we all want to get to know. I used to like historical homes until I learned about all the maintenance problems
You sound like my therapist. Yes, the cost. That's also where a good income would help. I really wanted one with a guest house for my own business but that didn't happen so I'll skip it. I enjoy restoration and not renovation. I'm not handy but I hate when buildings are stripped of their history.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$45.00
Goal
$255.00
Top