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Hey another therapist
- Thread starter Leesa
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For me, yes. Unfortunately, none of these things have yielded results. I've put myself out there and it just doesn't happen. The rejection has consumed my energy is spent. I don't even want to talk to another therapist. I can't see anything they could offer after three decades of trying. There just isn't a place for me
There were a few but wrong for me in every way. One guy I had known for a long time at work and had nothing in common with, but multiple people said he liked me and he started being kind. Although I was not attracted to him,I convinced myself I would be. It was a huge struggle but I figured it was my only chance and wanted to'be open'. He rejected me in a horribly cruel way. Then, I being stupid figuring we were both adults, took him aside and asked him why he felt it was ok to treat me.like that. I was really looking for an honest assessment. He said he had never been interested and that I wasn't like other women. He could not elaborate on that. That was 19 years ago. When I was in my 20s used to attract vulgar guys. I was a girl next door type and they saw me as a challenge I guess. In the past 15 years I was asked out once by someone who is married and wasn't 'looking for anything serious.' I had been friends with his mother before she passed away. No one else has expressed interest in the past 20 years. So, nothing viable.
Hugs.
You sound honest and sincere. Too true for this fast paced competitive world. Like you, I like to think I could have an honest adult chat about relationship but people tense up and well fib. Just like you described. You have that co worker a chance and he did not appreciate you. I was followed home in a car at night by a man that wanted to see where I lived. If I measured up to his standards. He interviewed me like an applicant for a job. Needless to say I failed his test. Who does that???? The clincher is that he is 53. No one has ever passed his test. I wish we could have tea. Share war stories sort of speak.
You sound honest and sincere. Too true for this fast paced competitive world. Like you, I like to think I could have an honest adult chat about relationship but people tense up and well fib. Just like you described. You have that co worker a chance and he did not appreciate you. I was followed home in a car at night by a man that wanted to see where I lived. If I measured up to his standards. He interviewed me like an applicant for a job. Needless to say I failed his test. Who does that???? The clincher is that he is 53. No one has ever passed his test. I wish we could have tea. Share war stories sort of speak.
Yes. This guy sat with me at lunch per his request and started asking if I could cook, if I wanted kids, etc. I mean, I knew him for 6 years or so and now I'm being interviewed? It also started like high school where one guy asked if I had a bf. I asked who wanted to know. After observing people I asked him if it was the one guy. He said yes. I truly struggled because I wasn't attracted to him but I tried to remain open minded. It was almost like a sure thing, I compromised my idea of who I wanted to be with and was still rejected.
Now. I've tried to hire a plumber and he is nonresponsive. I asked for a quote 7 weeks ago ( he came recommended) and I told him I needed things quoted and prioritized for the new year. I didn't get a quote and emailed him a week later. The holidays arrived and I thought maybe it was an oversight so I emailed him again last week with a follow up call. He said he thought he emailed me. I said no and he told me to text him my email. Never heard back. I'd probably just say he's a flake but he has good reviews. I feel like it's because he's my age and I'm gross or something. I wasn't interested in him All I wanted was some pipes fixed and not by a huge company with costs beyond my range. I'm at the point where everything hurts.
I should elaborate on that. I had been talking to people and they said if you find a good and honest plumber ( as they're hard to find) you should do whatever you can to keep them. So, as an off the hip remark, I jokingly said 'wanna marry me?'. I was obviously joking and said so. I explained that everyone I knew said they felt that way. I mean, I probably would have said that if he was 80. I'm not the aggressive type and my coworkers and therapist thought it was funny. This is why I feel more rejected.
Hi Leesa,
Oh yes that background information is important. There is a saying. Behind every joke is a truth. So he might think you were hitting up on him and might feel uncomfortable now. If you want this particular plumber then what I seen work is when Women get stalled like you are then they get a male to call on their behalf to follow up. I know you are alone but any male that is kind enough to help you will do. A brother or father or coworker or neighbor. . . So it wasn’t anything personal about you. He just feels awkward probably. If he doesn’t respond then try another plumber and this one was not meant to be. Being a single female makes it harder to get respect and service. Something about XY chromosomes pulls respect and fear I guess.
Oh yes that background information is important. There is a saying. Behind every joke is a truth. So he might think you were hitting up on him and might feel uncomfortable now. If you want this particular plumber then what I seen work is when Women get stalled like you are then they get a male to call on their behalf to follow up. I know you are alone but any male that is kind enough to help you will do. A brother or father or coworker or neighbor. . . So it wasn’t anything personal about you. He just feels awkward probably. If he doesn’t respond then try another plumber and this one was not meant to be. Being a single female makes it harder to get respect and service. Something about XY chromosomes pulls respect and fear I guess.
Well, he wasn't going to do the work. It would be someone else. He was just surveying the pipes and I wasn't going to see him again I was joking and I even said that. I'm not an aggressive person at all. I have no interest in him. But then again, it's like a rejection and an unnecessary one. I feel embarrassed. I will find someone else. Just sucks because it's hard to find a decent plumber. In this case, there wasn't a truth behind the joke... except hang onto someone good. THAT was the intent.
You're sending someone else out anyone, buddy. I even explained the intent. I mean I was rejected when I wasn't even trying. I feel very defensive now. I hired someone to grind a tree stump ( I miss my tree) and I had a pigeon problem. Those people were just fine. I think I told the one lady ' I love you for doing that.' I certainly wasn't hitting on her. I don't have boundary issues although it seems that way on here. I'm pretty quiet.