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Hopeless Romantic or Just Hopeless?

#1
I have always had problems with relationships, that is nothing new. After yet another botched relationship that ended with me getting cheated on yet again.. I decided I was done searching, Id let them find me. I am a nerd at heart, and I enjoy my online video games. Well I met this wonderful woman. She has a husband and is in a polyamarous relationship. She is 10 years older than me (she's 30). We began falling for each Other pretty quickly..neither of us ever thought of a long distance relationship..she lives a couple states away..we have even taken off work to meet at the end of next month. We have grown very dependant of each Other..I am very anti social. And her husband is often away a majority of the time. She doesn't want a poly relationship per se, just one more (like me for instance). We've learned each Other so much and she has always been there for me and I her.. She gets really insecure..the past couple weeks she has been getting upset at me almost daily. No matter how hard I try I always end up upsetting her or making her feel unimportant. I honestly try my hardest, I've never been so invested. She says I put her through mind games and she is tired of it.. I honestly don't know how..but I understand the struggle, hence it being a long distance relationship. But we are happy 99% of the time.. And when we are good, we are gold, nothing can bring us down..but when we are down, I'm reminded of how hard life is and I am not focused on her face. I look past that and think of how close I was to ending things before she came into my life.. I want so much with her.. But I honestly don't know what more I can do..
 

Unknown_111

Forum Buddy
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Welcome to the forum and the SF family. Yes, you are hurting but you deeply care for this person. You have to be strong as the final commitment is not the answer. Distance relationship can work but you have to be strong. You obviously care about this person and that's can be seen in your post.

You have to be strong especially when you feel low at this moment. I just want you to realise that YOU are important and alone in your suffering. We care and want to help YOU.

Please keep posting and most important be safe.
 
#3
Thank you kindly. Feels nice to see someone see how much I care.. I have such a silver tongue..and in turn sometimes I guess people construe that I don't mean things because words I use sound so cliche or they sound too good to be true.. When in reality im just explaining my feelings. I appreciate the good vibes, this is a safe place (this site). I enjoy it. I feel warmer just listening to everyone else's problems..makes mine feel small..
 

Unknown_111

Forum Buddy
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Thank you kindly. Feels nice to see someone see how much I care.. I have such a silver tongue..and in turn sometimes I guess people construe that I don't mean things because words I use sound so cliche or they sound too good to be true.. When in reality im just explaining my feelings. I appreciate the good vibes, this is a safe place (this site). I enjoy it. I feel warmer just listening to everyone else's problems..makes mine feel small..
My friend. You are hurting a lot and you just needed someone to listen to your issues. You problem is no different to anyone else. We care for everyone who is hurting in the world and try to reassure them that someone does care in the world.

The scars you carry today will make you stronger tomorrow. Take care and keep posting my friend.
 

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