The appointment went well I guess, she prescribed meds even though I really dont want to take them, she did take the BPD off my diagnosis so that's nice, as I wont be treated for it anymore. She also thinks autism fits so that's pretty validating she also brought up adhd the med she gave me is supposed to help with these. It was funny, she's reading through my chart and goes "damn girl, you've been hospitalized like 10,000 times" I'm sure she misspoke, meant 1000 but still. It makes me feel hopeless, like I've had all this "help" and yet here I am. I'm terrified about the meds, in the past they havent helped much and usually my brain ends up going haywire, and i try to ctb. Or the side effects are complete hell and I turn into a zombie with much uncontrollable eating and drolling. Sorry this is rather negative, and long but I'm making some changes one of them is no longer acting in anyway simply to make others comfortable as this us very hurtful to me.