She’s gone for a couple weeks right now and I gotta say it’s kind of a relief.
I mean, therapy is supposed to be hard and stressful, right?
my response to the "stressful" was to tell my therapist that i wanted to suspend therapy. that is all i said, no plan for starting again and not really even specifying any more than saying "i'll let you know". i did this all in text.
her response was "ok", and that's all. i'd have thought there'd be a little push back? or a last meeting? but nope.
i only mention this in contrast to your situation Gonz. it is most definitely not a suggestion. for two months since, i've been wondering about what's been going on with her. was she still playing therapist in not saying anything further? did she really mean what she said a couple times in the recent past - that she wants to retire? i was left confused actually and wondered if it was i who confused me.
anyway, i thought i should write her a letter at least for the holidays so after a lot of procrastinating, i finally did. basically i think i said in not the exact words, that i miss her. the thing about this therapist is i really feel she is a friend. i feel that she is a friend and i like her as a friend and perhaps not a therapist anymore and that is why i wanted to stop seeing her plus that she does not really have specific extensive training experience in my specific issues which are childhood sexual abuse/trauma, self harm, severe dissociation and gender concerns - all which are quite intermingled.
and the people i've been communicating with of late on the patient side of therapy keep telling me i need someone specificly trained in these areas. i think looking into dissociation might be helpful because even if you are not like me and others who are definitely in the range of Dissociative Disorders (DID and OSDD), dissociation is a feature of many other "disorders" and situations that a traumatized person might be dealing with.
here are a couple links that anyone reading this might find helpful.
• International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (Find a Therapist page)
https://isstd.connectedcommunity.org/network/network-find-a-professional
• Discussing Dissociation
https://www.discussingdissociation.com/
• i have a couple other links too but can't find them atm. if/when i find them i'll post them here.
👽