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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
I feel like I stood up for myself.
I made it clear to a woman from my former writing group that I don't want her to act as go-between (because she had mentioned the idea once). The head of that group sent me the nastiest email I ever received and showed more dislike of me than anyone ever has before in my adult life. I never want to see or hear about her again.
So I said I still want to be friends with her (the 3rd party) but I don't want to see or hear about the other woman or her writing accomplishments, and I requested that she not discuss me with the other woman either.
So we'll see. If she can't agree to that I don't want contact with her either. I've never dealt with such an extreme situation in a writing group or class in all the ones I've been too. I am still traumatized by it. But I'm going to move on and write lots of good stuff. All grist for the mill.
I made it clear to a woman from my former writing group that I don't want her to act as go-between (because she had mentioned the idea once). The head of that group sent me the nastiest email I ever received and showed more dislike of me than anyone ever has before in my adult life. I never want to see or hear about her again.
So I said I still want to be friends with her (the 3rd party) but I don't want to see or hear about the other woman or her writing accomplishments, and I requested that she not discuss me with the other woman either.
So we'll see. If she can't agree to that I don't want contact with her either. I've never dealt with such an extreme situation in a writing group or class in all the ones I've been too. I am still traumatized by it. But I'm going to move on and write lots of good stuff. All grist for the mill.
Sorry Harrow 
Was there a trigger? I'm struggling with moderate to severe depression myself ATM and hoping I get a bump in mood in September because that is my favourite month.
Was there a trigger? I'm struggling with moderate to severe depression myself ATM and hoping I get a bump in mood in September because that is my favourite month.
Good on you for prioritizing your mental well-being.
I think the offer to be a go-between was made out of kindness (though you’re absolutely right to not take her up on it, F that other lady). If she shows she can respect boundaries as well, she’ll definitely be worth keeping as a friend. If she can’t, well, you already know what to do.
If someone is aggressive or cruel, I find it very easy (and satisfying!) to set boundaries and firmly enforce them. But if I think the person‘s intentions are benign, I will let those same boundaries be trampled over out of a desire to avoid conflict and people-please.
I don’t know if you have the same problem but, if so, extra good job.
I think the offer to be a go-between was made out of kindness (though you’re absolutely right to not take her up on it, F that other lady). If she shows she can respect boundaries as well, she’ll definitely be worth keeping as a friend. If she can’t, well, you already know what to do.
If someone is aggressive or cruel, I find it very easy (and satisfying!) to set boundaries and firmly enforce them. But if I think the person‘s intentions are benign, I will let those same boundaries be trampled over out of a desire to avoid conflict and people-please.
I don’t know if you have the same problem but, if so, extra good job.
Thanks Gonz.
It's difficult because I don't know either woman super well, but I am still interested in being friends with one of them IF she can manage to not talk to me about the other. Of course I have no control over her talking about me behind my back, but I requested it at least.
Honestly it might be easier just to have no contact with either of them although that would leave me with no friends in my new city. But I'd rather stick with my existing friends outside the city (especially since I will soon have a vehicle) than put up with any more crap.
The trauma from the Viper Queen ruined my summer. I actually feel like the other woman should have condemned the email, but she did say she never saw me act condescending, which was the VQ's main accusation.
I'm glad I made my position so clear. The VQ's behaviour was totally unacceptable and I don't care if she wins the Nobel Prize in literature - I don't want to hear about it.
Getting better huh. Be glad I didnt throw tantrum. 😹
Just cause things you cant control doesnt mean you can't feel. And while I've been crying and focusing on my aunt, there's lots of people sympathising it. It could get annoying even tho I truly appreciate it, Im like sorry I couldn't hear you when I cant even hear myself. I was too busy focusing on my aunt and work. I just hope things would settle down soon, its always shocking and frightening at every start of sth new.
Just cause things you cant control doesnt mean you can't feel. And while I've been crying and focusing on my aunt, there's lots of people sympathising it. It could get annoying even tho I truly appreciate it, Im like sorry I couldn't hear you when I cant even hear myself. I was too busy focusing on my aunt and work. I just hope things would settle down soon, its always shocking and frightening at every start of sth new.
Happy because I got my package, a new Spurs shirt (this season's away shirt) plus a couple other things. The shipping information hadn't been updating, so I was scared the package had gotten lost or something. Also just had a yummy popsicle 
Going to try a moderate skill level woodworking project today - a bat house. But being lazy now. But it will take me a while (it's a Christmas present) and I don't have much free time. Sort of nervous about attempting it but if it comes out lousy I just burn it or throw it out. Other than that I'm going to be lonely. But I will try to stay distracted from the loneliness. These days start out lonely but end up okay. So it will be an okay day I hope.