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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
Not doing well today. I got up after being in the bed for 16 hours or so. The kids left the house with dishes in the sink and clothes in the dryer plus other things all over the house.

I just went to McDonalds to get a breakfast sandwich and forcing myself to go to the food store to get coffee and cream. Want to go back to bed. And hide.
I'm very sorry your kids don't respect you more, and treat you (or you house) with such indifference--& indifferently--@Lane. Where I am from, they allegedly/apparently have ways of preventing your children from growing up this way - but that, in all likelihood; is controversial & I'd suppose to a large extent debatable, where we live. "A bloody mouth," comes to mind as an anecdote that was once described to me as a punishment for talking back & etc. But that is clearly not the answer, nor is it the suggestion here (also it is much too late for that, it seems). I also find that, having more than one of them home at once. If that dynamic doesn't somehow change things, and thereby make it worse: just from the standpoint of sibling rivalry.

And more, what I mean by that is, "If he's doing this, and getting away with it... Then why can't I do that!" (for they are then even more justified in their wrongdoings, simply because they've got evidence of support, and for want of a better word, competition - though in a different sense than is generally to be thought of as utiltized in such meanings & examples, or contexts of the word - at least in this setting. Anyway, have a good day! And I really don't know what you could/can do, when the inmates are running things so defiantly around these parts. I'm sure they don't love living at home. But this is not only a funny way of showing it, it is also not an acceptable one.

It's kind of like, "group-think" ~I think...
 
Been so depressed lately. I feel very alone, I have almost no one irl so being here helps. I also wish I had more energy or way to comfort others on here. Just knowing I'm not the only one can help, not that I want anyone to feel like I do.
It's the severe aloneness that creates such difficulty with desiring to continue. I'm sorry you are finding yourself having the same situation.
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
I'm very sorry your kids don't respect you more, and treat you (or you house) with such indifference--& indifferently--@Lane. Where I am from, they allegedly/apparently have ways of preventing your children from growing up this way - but that, in all likelihood; is controversial & I'd suppose to a large extent debatable, where we live. "A bloody mouth," comes to mind as an anecdote that was once described to me as a punishment for talking back & etc. But that is clearly not the answer, nor is it the suggestion here (also it is much too late for that, it seems). I also find that, having more than one of them home at once. If that dynamic doesn't somehow change things, and thereby make it worse: just from the standpoint of sibling rivalry.

And more, what I mean by that is, "If he's doing this, and getting away with it... Then why can't I do that!" (for they are then even more justified in their wrongdoings, simply because they've got evidence of support, and for want of a better word, competition - though in a different sense than is generally to be thought of as utiltized in such meanings & examples, or contexts of the word - at least in this setting. Anyway, have a good day! And I really don't know what you could/can do, when the inmates are running things so defiantly around these parts. I'm sure they don't love living at home. But this is not only a funny way of showing it, it is also not an acceptable one.

It's kind of like, "group-think" ~I think...
Thanks for the thoughtful response. Maybe it is sibling rivalry. My son has made comments here and there. I'm just so over it. It took all of my strength to get through the grocery store this morning.

My son has said he's not crazy about living at home but my daughter has said that she appreciates not having to pay rent. Well, I wish they'd show it. Ha. I hope your day was a good one @MisterBGone.
 

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
Thanks for the thoughtful response. Maybe it is sibling rivalry. My son has made comments here and there. I'm just so over it. It took all of my strength to get through the grocery store this morning.

My son has said he's not crazy about living at home but my daughter has said that she appreciates not having to pay rent. Well, I wish they'd show it. Ha. I hope your day was a good one @MisterBGone.
Well, hey! Just look at it like this, you're doing a really great & nice/wonderful thing (for them). As without your generosity and hospitality (?) - they'd be in much more difficult & gravely uncomfortable circumstances (unless other significant changes were implemented). So while the sacrifices seem to be reaping fewer rewards on the surface, perhaps they will pay-off later on, or in the long-run! You know, with the benefit of hindsight, and when they can look back and feel or realize how fortunate they were to have had that offered & open to them. Also, behavior/or habits (such as that which you've been discussing) are hard to come-by when it comes to alterations; or change(s). So don't beat yourself up for being unable to make much progress in this regard. Hopefully, things can begin to improve at some point, you'd still like to hold out hope & believe. Though I don't know if that change would have to come from within - when it comes to say, motivation? It's pretty hard to let the small stuff/or things fly, when they add up and compound, or deliver a cumulative effect. Which I know the reason why it bothers you so much, or is so troublesome, is the meaning it may communicate, or the message that it sends/& delivers. In terms of how much they care, or think of/about treating you. In terms of respect & all else: only thing I can say is this--at that age, it can be difficult to summarize life in that moment & let them crystallize or allow them to formulate clearly, the dust to settle as it were, such that they see the forrest for the trees, or have some kind of proper perspective placed on or upon it (the situation). In other words, a lot of these little mini-negative behaviors and lifestyles are perhaps/probably - possibly a function of their "unhappiness," with things in their own lives. And more-so a statement of impact of that (their dissatisfaction w/life) & less about what or how they feel about you. They're sort of numb to being able to think of things in that way yet. As in right now. They're too self-centered & pre-occupied with their own selves, and their own issues. Than to be focused on how what they do (w/their laziness, etc.) can be having a profound detrimental impact on your own happiness, and otherwise - overall health. As I said, hopefully it's a stress that pays off. And one day you'll look back & feel good about the things you had to stomach or swallow. Maybe too, they will reach that stage or state, where they can realize this too. And if so, they can think to be troubled or bothered enough, to pick up the phone and tell you so or send you a nice, warm-hearted, "Thank-You" card... with 'blank-checks' in side~ ;) :D We can hope & dream: can't we! :)
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
Been so depressed lately. I feel very alone, I have almost no one irl so being here helps. I also wish I had more energy or way to comfort others on here. Just knowing I'm not the only one can help, not that I want anyone to feel like I do.
It's hard to comfort others when you're depressed. You can only do so much. You have to treat yourself with TLC if possible. I hope you can find a moment or two of peace @toomuchreality *console*sadhug
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
Well, hey! Just look at it like this, you're doing a really great & nice/wonderful thing (for them). As without your generosity and hospitality (?) - they'd be in much more difficult & gravely uncomfortable circumstances (unless other significant changes were implemented). So while the sacrifices seem to be reaping fewer rewards on the surface, perhaps they will pay-off later on, or in the long-run! You know, with the benefit of hindsight, and when they can look back and feel or realize how fortunate they were to have had that offered & open to them. Also, behavior/or habits (such as that which you've been discussing) are hard to come-by when it comes to alterations; or change(s). So don't beat yourself up for being unable to make much progress in this regard. Hopefully, things can begin to improve at some point, you'd still like to hold out hope & believe. Though I don't know if that change would have to come from within - when it comes to say, motivation? It's pretty hard to let the small stuff/or things fly, when they add up and compound, or deliver a cumulative effect. Which I know the reason why it bothers you so much, or is so troublesome, is the meaning it may communicate, or the message that it sends/& delivers. In terms of how much they care, or think of/about treating you. In terms of respect & all else: only thing I can say is this--at that age, it can be difficult to summarize life in that moment & let them crystallize or allow them to formulate clearly, the dust to settle as it were, such that they see the forrest for the trees, or have some kind of proper perspective placed on or upon it (the situation). In other words, a lot of these little mini-negative behaviors and lifestyles are perhaps/probably - possibly a function of their "unhappiness," with things in their own lives. And more-so a statement of impact of that (their dissatisfaction w/life) & less about what or how they feel about you. They're sort of numb to being able to think of things in that way yet. As in right now. They're too self-centered & pre-occupied with their own selves, and their own issues. Than to be focused on how what they do (w/their laziness, etc.) can be having a profound detrimental impact on your own happiness, and otherwise - overall health. As I said, hopefully it's a stress that pays off. And one day you'll look back & feel good about the things you had to stomach or swallow. Maybe too, they will reach that stage or state, where they can realize this too. And if so, they can think to be troubled or bothered enough, to pick up the phone and tell you so or send you a nice, warm-hearted, "Thank-You" card... with 'blank-checks' in side~ ;):D We can hope & dream: can't we! :)
You said it so well here @MisterBGone. Maybe when they're older and have children of their own they will understand. But you said it right when their acts of laziness has a profound effect in my mood. I can't pick up after them. Maybe that's why, at least partly why I go to my bed. I don't want to blame it all on them. Heathens 🤣. I hope you are doing fine. Pm me anytime. I tried to send you a pm but it didn't work. *console
 
I'm hurting, and troubled

The holidays are a time that my wife delighted in, especially cooking for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I remember our first Thanksgiving was actually several weeks early, we had finally met (after a long distance involvement) but we wouldn't be together for the official day. Watching her prepare a full meal, barefoot in her studio apartment, a floor-length skirt, both of us glowing to be with each other. She cut up big chunks of cheese, and used impossible amounts of butter in her oven-baked macaroni and cheese casserole. We had ham, and greens, and Hawaiian rolls, everything, just for the two of us. Pumpkin pie, maybe apple, too. We both knew something serious was happening. A little over a month later, we had our first apartment.
That next Thanksgiving, we'd been living together almost a year at that time, choosing to start in a city that was new for both of us. Again the homemade mac and cheese, scalloped potatoes, greens, Hawaiian rolls, this time a turkey, too. Stuffing, sparkling juice instead of wine. Desserts.
And the next ones, in our permanent home, although they were so similar that they've become one memory. I wish I could remember more of them, over our 14 years together.
I'm finding the anger, frustration, loneliness are back strong, after I'd reached a state of acceptance for awhile. Someone at her funeral told me I'd been cheated, and I think that's true. It's times like this I think about giving the big Fuck You to the universe, there's no more work for me here, and I'm tempted to leave early.
I won't, but sometimes it seems like an attractive option, again.

peace
 
Boils me how some as*h*le men want a girl to be pretty but unaware of it and feeling insecure. Dude called me pretty behind my back as i heard and when i leave little unintentional contident notes on social media he replies back saying i have a false confidence and i look average.
Ya forgot how many nights u were trying hard to convince me to go to dinner with u bruh?
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
I'm hurting, and troubled

The holidays are a time that my wife delighted in, especially cooking for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I remember our first Thanksgiving was actually several weeks early, we had finally met (after a long distance involvement) but we wouldn't be together for the official day. Watching her prepare a full meal, barefoot in her studio apartment, a floor-length skirt, both of us glowing to be with each other. She cut up big chunks of cheese, and used impossible amounts of butter in her oven-baked macaroni and cheese casserole. We had ham, and greens, and Hawaiian rolls, everything, just for the two of us. Pumpkin pie, maybe apple, too. We both knew something serious was happening. A little over a month later, we had our first apartment.
That next Thanksgiving, we'd been living together almost a year at that time, choosing to start in a city that was new for both of us. Again the homemade mac and cheese, scalloped potatoes, greens, Hawaiian rolls, this time a turkey, too. Stuffing, sparkling juice instead of wine. Desserts.
And the next ones, in our permanent home, although they were so similar that they've become one memory. I wish I could remember more of them, over our 14 years together.
I'm finding the anger, frustration, loneliness are back strong, after I'd reached a state of acceptance for awhile. Someone at her funeral told me I'd been cheated, and I think that's true. It's times like this I think about giving the big Fuck You to the universe, there's no more work for me here, and I'm tempted to leave early.
I won't, but sometimes it seems like an attractive option, again.

peace
Thank you for sharing your story and the good times with your lovely wife @1Lefty. I can picture what you wrote in my head and can only imagine your loss and anger. I'm not sure what else to write because I know the holidays can be such a hard time. My thoughts are with you and others that feel alone. I'm glad that you're here. *console*sadhug
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Not doing well today. I got up after being in the bed for 16 hours or so. The kids left the house with dishes in the sink and clothes in the dryer plus other things all over the house.

I just went to McDonalds to get a breakfast sandwich and forcing myself to go to the food store to get coffee and cream. Want to go back to bed. And hide.
i'm sorry you had such a bad day yesterday, i hope today is much better for you. as for clothes in the dryer no problem. do a load of laundry, when you need to use the dryer take their clothes out and put them in the hamper. if they say anything just innocently say you're sorry but since they didn't take care of the clothes you thought they had to be rewashed, an innocent mistake lol

mike....*hug*shake
 

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