How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Bergerac]

@Bergerac that is the person who you've been wanting to get help and support for? How great it is when yout intention and action bear fruit. This cheers me thanks for posting it.

Yes, I quite agree. And I'm glad it's had this effect on you, too. It warms you, and restores your faith, to an extent.
Sadly, I haven't yet got into see him, but this is in anticipation and is an extremely kind act from this man of the church, to try and help. Another person, a lady, is also trying to help me gain admission. It's all so kind, and greatly appreciated.
Thanks for responding and sending my best wishes to you.

 

[Aurelia]

This might seem a bit pathetic, but I've gotten so used to going out with my brother and being driven everywhere, I started feeling kind of useless and basically like I can't do anything on my own anymore. Well, today, I got my ass up and walked to the pharmacy to get my medications. It might not seem like anything, but it actually is kind of a big deal to me. I need to learn to drive soon, even though I'm terrified to do so.

 

[1964dodge]

Exhausted! Nauseous n ears won't stop ringing from not sleeping... and i just feel... done!

i hope you can get some sleep soon

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Hating my life & myself a bit. Not sure why.

sometimes when we are suffering we blame ourself for all of our issues which isn't fair. try to look at the good things you do, the positive things in your life.

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

The urge to die is stronger than ever

i'm sorry things are still so hard for you

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

i'm tired but in a great mood

mike

 

[AmberMarie]

i honestly didn't think i could feel any lower then i was this morning... i was so very wrong!

 

[AvidFan]

i honestly didn't think i could feel any lower then i was this morning... i was so very wrong!

😢 Hope it goes the other way soon.

 

[Lane]

Feeling like I stood up for myself to my daughter, 20, she shshhhed, me. And I told her to please not do that. She said I was just loud (embarrassing). I said if she didn't like it she could go to her room.

 

[Lane]

i honestly didn't think i could feel any lower then i was this morning... i was so very wrong!

@AmberMarie, I'm sorry that you're feeling so very low. I encourage you to say more only if you want to. In the meantime we are here for you.

 

[AmberMarie]

. I encourage you to say more

The issue i have is not being able to put what i am feeling so deeply into words. my entire existence is screaming in physical, mental and emotional pain. If i could put my finger on even 1 small speck of reasoning, then i would have somewhere to begin... somewhere to start... somewhere to understand and find words to everything... anything.

 

[Lane]

The issue i have is not being able to put what i am feeling so deeply into words. my entire existence is screaming in physical, mental and emotional pain. If i could put my finger on even 1 small speck of reasoning, then i would have somewhere to begin... somewhere to start... somewhere to understand and find words to everything... anything.[/QUO
Thank you for explaining. You described it very well to me so far. However, I am saddened that you're in such pain. It must be excruciating. I do remember when I was suicidal and how I felt and I had no words to describe either. I'm glad that you are here posting. Please PM me if you need to talk.

 

[Aurelia]

Today was pretty good. I read the Bible. I finished the book of Joshua and the book of Judges. I love Bible stories. I find them so interesting. My Bible also has some essay prompts about the readings, which is pretty cool. I own quite a few Bibles, and this is one of my favorites.

I also watched some 80s movies. And went out by myself for the first time in a while. A bit cold out, but I got some exercise and fresh air. I like thinking about the little things in life. I find them to be the most beautiful. My plants, for instance. I like taking care of them and watching them grow. Thinking about existence itself and all the beautiful things that God created. Mountains, trees, fields, flowers, lush forests, animals, the sunset/sunrise, the moon and stars, planets, cosmos, etc. I also like to think about human relationships and how we interact with and behave around one another. How our minds work.

I didn't cry today, thankfully. And now I'm probably just going to watch a movie and do some cross-stitching. School starts on Friday. I have no idea what this class is going to be, but it's the last one. I'm nervous and hope I do well so I can graduate finally.

 

[KM76710]

how am i feeling right now ? really ? i feel like crying lol. my cell phone is on it's last leg and i have to screw around with it to get a charge. it won't hold a charge long and it's really f#$ked, my wife's phone isn't much better. so i ordered 2 new galaxy 23's. so both phones and accessories will raise my phone bill by around $86 a month for 2 years. i expected it because our old phones are at least 4 years old, probably older. the expense is the least of it, now i have to try to save everything and set up a new phone. i hate getting new phones lol

mike

My phone is a pain at times. Press a number button and it sometimes registers two punches, so restart the sequence, but can't expect much for the cost.

 

[KM76710]

The urge to die is stronger than ever

I hope that you get strength here knowing that you matter to us.

 

[KM76710]

This might seem a bit pathetic, but I've gotten so used to going out with my brother and being driven everywhere, I started feeling kind of useless and basically like I can't do anything on my own anymore. Well, today, I got my ass up and walked to the pharmacy to get my medications. It might not seem like anything, but it actually is kind of a big deal to me. I need to learn to drive soon, even though I'm terrified to do so.

Doing for yourself can be liberating, I hope it will be for you like going to the pharmacy. Driving is not nearly as intimidating if you have a good teacher and a place where you can practice. So much is just adjusting and getting used to how the controls work and relaxing.

 

[KM76710]

I am doing not well. I’ve been trying to keep it together but it’s leaking out. As in literal leaking. Sometimes I realize I’m crying and I didn’t even notice. Or know why. Just tears running down my face. And a couple people have said over the last year that they think I’m very depressed or “really going through it” and I’m always like no I’m not. And think it’s ridiculous. But when I’m really honest with myself and slow down and check in with my body I think I might be very very sad. And in the past when I was like this I didn’t have great coping skills and I’d end up going inpatient.
which might be what I need but I don’t think anything will or is able to change. Regardless I can’t do that right now. But I think it might be really bad. If I let it out and feel it. I think it might be really really bad. And I don’t have anyone to say that to irl. So I’m here saying it to you.
I found this site a decade ago. Under a different name that I don’t even have the email for anymore. But I was crying in that why am I sobbing kind of way and remembered it after trying a couple text helplines.

Welcome back. And yes, speak out and express all you feel and want with us. You are amongst caring and supportive people and I hope that you always know this is a place for you where you are valued and a part of us.

 

[Aurelia]

We have such a wonderful community where people understand each other. I've never seen anything like it. One person posts and another has been through the same thing or similar. We don't have any trouble relating to one another. Blessings to all of you wonderful people.

 

[AmberMarie]

"@ Lane: Please PM me if you need to talk."
i'm not sure it would do any good. i'd just sit there without really saying anything or even worse... i'd dump everything out... and that can't happen right now... i'm really scare of what will happen if i have to "feel" anymore... or have what i know my subconscious is trying to scream out actually come out into the open.

 

[Aurelia]

i'm not sure it would do any good. i'd just sit there without really saying anything or even worse... i'd dump everything out... and that can't happen right now... i'm really scare of what will happen if i have to "feel" anymore... or have what i know my subconscious is trying to scream out actually come out into the open.

What is it screaming out?