How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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THis is impossible specially that my mental health is declining I am out of control and I am in extreme danger. I am extremely tired to be a laughing stock. THe self destruction will never stop I am now in deep physical and emotional pain due to the severity of my mental health . There is nothing I can do only to self destruct myself.
Hi @zuzu , You may need some help from others, in order to get the care you need, in order to get and feel, both well & better. This is of the professional kind, that I am referring to. You may not be able to see, or to tell, given all you have stated here on quite a few occasions, with respect to your current state of health, just what it is that you do, indeed need. That is why I am trying to offer you some outside advice, from a different perspective, than is shared by your own. It's hard to always see the forest for the trees, even when we don't have things with which are troubling us, from a mental health perspective. Regardless of the reasons, it is what it is, and we are here. Or it is here, that we are, regardless of those circumstances that have led us to this point in time. There seems to me anyway, to be a "jump" you want/or wish to be making, with regards your stated 'goals.' These are not overly realistic things to acquire, short of someone just gifting them to you in a charitable fashion. Which is highly unlikely for any of us, to expect for that to have happen. And so, this is where that professional level of quality of care, that I was speaking of, and talking about, comes in. It's ok, if you can't or don't see it. I just wish you could either find a way to get some help yourself. Or to ask someone to help you to do so. Because that is what I think you need. In so far as I can tell, with what the limitations are and such from an anonymous internet forum & all. You talk about engaging in very risky behaviors, or at least in wanting to, with yourself & others. This is why it would be good to get treated, so that you can avoid injury to both yourself, or others. I know you have had some bad experiences as of late. With being picked up by the police, and how unfairly they'd treated you, and the lack of support you'd received upon exiting your last stay at the Hospital. I don't know what level of care is required here. I am not a expert, and even if I were, this is not the way in which to go about assessing you, or anyone else... from sitting in my position here. Ethically, morally, who knows what other kinds of -ly's, you get the drift, I'm certain. Yes, it hurts to see you struggle, and struggling so. But we are limited with what we can do, beyond listen, and encourage you to seek treatment. We can offer support to you, but it is unrealistic, to expect anyone to take you up on some of the offers you have made, or suggested. These tie into that of which, I just spoke. Anyway, I hope I'm not coming off as too... harsh, or mean-spirited. For that is not the goal, or emphasis, or my mindset at all. I am simply trying to lend you a helping hand. In the only way in which I know how to do so, given the fashion that this model or vehicle, mode of communication, allows for. . . Best regards, mr. b~
Thanks for your support, but I stated clearly I do not need to be treated. I want love and support, my life back. I cannot be helped. I do not want to take medication. Therapy and treatment only will work if I have a meaningful life. Back in 2011 I was acting erratically and a Doctor told me that I have potential and to go to the hospital. That time I did it and I receive support because I showed evidence of what I did and what I was going through. I was angry at everybody indirectly, but I agree what they offered me because I had a job and Income. Now that I do not have a job, income, friends and family there is nothing that can be done for me I need to be heard and understood and then I will decide what I do next. I understand you might not have answers. You do not know what is to be rejected almost 60 years of your life when nobody sees the good on you only your defects. If today I win millions of dollars I will not overspend. I will start slowly by supporting small business and buy a nice piece of salmon or go for a nice sushi dinner. I have not received any income for more than 2 years, This is the only time in my life that I need help and all doors are closed to me because I am educated. I helped too many people with their taxes for free and I receive nothing in return except abuse and humilliations. Do you see the dog on the picture. It has taken back in 1986, the dog died in 1996 and he had love and care something that I am missing. This dogs have a life span between 10 to 12 years and the dog almost lived 13 years considering that his back paws were an issue an almost a rescue dog. All of that because had love and care I really missing him.
Yes, I do love that picture of your dog! I'm so happy you got to have him. I'm sure he was lucky to have you, in his life, for all of your love and everything you gave to him. I'm sure he was thankful. And that you still think of him to this day, speaks volumes about the special bond in which the two of you shared, and gave you a good glimpse, I'd suppose of what that sort of love can represent in a relationship in life. Though, those are sometimes hard to come by, as pets can set such an extraordinarily "high-bar!" I understand your predicament now. You can't afford your medication, even if you'd wanted to go back on it. Work, or food, rather or/versus: meds. Not easy to decide, or more likely, an 'impossible,' decision to make~ // there's no question; & there's no doubt... Just wondering & out of curiosity, did you find that the meds were working, that you were on & that you were taking? I'm surprised there isn't a better set-up, or a system up there in Canada, as I'd always heard of their far-superior healthcare to ours (down in the States)? Maybe that was more in regards, something else. Like out of pocket costs, if you're a working class citizen, or something? I really don't honestly know, for as far as I understand it, and am aware. Where you living here, then you would be able to get all of your medications covered & for free. Anyway. . . I realize what you are requesting. I do. I just honestly don't know how to tell you best to proceed, is all. You don't give a lot of options, in terms of leeway. With respect to what you will, or will not accept. This inflexibility & inability or unwillingness, to compromise or be open to doing some of the uncomfortable things that it might take, in order for you to achieve some level of success, and therefore / then -- "progress," with respect to~ / trending in the right direction. And getting things going forward with your momentum, where one thing that is positive, might then flow & lead into another. And so on, and so forth. I don't think you can start from Step One. And skip to the end. It doesn't (often) work that way. At least in so far as I understand it, and am aware. But I haven't done a lot in life, my-self. Far far less than you, in fact. So that does, I feel, note consideration when coming to the process of source, and sourcing, just who it is that is giving out the information, or the input & all, or everything. I hope that you can find something that works for you. I really do! Have a good night... mrb.
P*ssed. There's an admin on my work Slack who really doesn't like me. Every time I post a helpful comment or say I've had a similar issue, when I go back my post has been deleted. I really don't know why I bother. There's plenty of people posting pointless BS who get left alone so I don't know why they've taken such a dislike to me. Screw them - I now generally avoid the projects they're involved with, but every now and then I'll chime in, and yep, there's still a delete target on my posts.
I don't think I identify with most marketing either. I don't want to smell like wood chips or sage and leather. I don't want to go to the gym then head to my IT job at my company I plan to retire from. I think these people just have to buckshot out as much as they can and hope it attracts a few people before trying again with a different audience. (I tried really hard to think of something that was marketed right at me and all I could think of was food lol)
Probably not - I'm a contractor and could be "let go" any time if I stick my head above the parapet so it's not really worth it. It probably doesn't only happen to me but I do notice patterns like this. I see other people who have replies but the original post has been deleted - don't know if by themselves or an admin! There are other channels/projects I'm on which are a lot more relaxed so I mainly stick to them!
Oh yeah that IS weird then @AvidFan That's pretty crap. 