How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[AvidFan]

Poorly

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[cymbele]

I spoke too soon about being happy. My new car got hit by a driver who wasn't looking. Now I have two accidents on the brand new car. But oddly while I'm upset, I am mostly annoyed. I have to clean out the car since it isn't drivable. And repair centers around here are booked out months so kayaking season is probably over even before I ever go this summer!

 

[KM76710]

I just feel really sick like I have a really high fever, but I don’t. I just joined a forum to get help with the intentions I have to take my own life, so I think the stress of where I currently am in life is doing this.

I’m deeply in love with one of my best friends but she’s married (very unhappily though). I’m feeling too sick to go into detail, but I’ll just say that I’ve reached the point of believing that committing suicide would be a tremendous act of self-compassion. [mod edit - methods] [mod edit - timeline].

Anyway, though the thought of death brings me an incredible amount of peace, I suppose some part of me still wants to continue living otherwise I wouldn’t be here. But after 40+ years of having plenty of anonymous sex, yet never having had the pleasure of experiencing another human being return my love or affection, I just don’t think I can take much more loneliness and perpetual heartbreak.

So IDK. I’m going to bed now but I’ll probably return here tomorrow. [mod edit - timeline] We’ll see.

With that said, my heart truly goes out to each and every one of you who is reading this and in as much as pain as I am.

I hope that you do return and keep posting. You are on a great forum for support and we are a welcoming and caring bunch to get to know. This is a good site to get to know and find others.

 

[TragicReality]

I'm trying everything to help with pain and sleep. I decreased my anti depressant, I upped it last night. no worries, my psychiatrist knows I do this sometimes. I'm on the dose he prescribes and I think it's helping me get more sleep and less pain, amitriptyline can help with migraines so maybe it's helping with the pain everywhere especially in back and hips. I didn't drink much coffee today, hopefully that makes a difference too.

 

[Baywasp]

Frustrated, but at least I finished my schoolwork.

 

[Windhover]

Lonely for my partner. But I'm tired and ready for sleep. Hoping for no nightmares.

 

[Lane]

I spoke too soon about being happy. My new car got hit by a driver who wasn't looking. Now I have two accidents on the brand new car. But oddly while I'm upset, I am mostly annoyed. I have to clean out the car since it isn't drivable. And repair centers around here are booked out months so kayaking season is probably over even before I ever go this summer!

While I'm sorry the accident happened, I'm really glad that you're ok.

 

[Lane]

I got through the weekend mainly by watching TV and eating too much junk food, oh and sleeping. Imnervous about returning to my old job since the girls made a big fuss about me leaving. I'm afraid they'll think I'm a loser for coming back, but things happen. I go back in 2 weeks. In the meantime I have concerns about my health insurance since it's about to be discontinued. It's always something, isn't it? But I will jump on healthcare.gov or the company's plan. I just worry about my mental healthcare scripts since I'm on 4 different ones.

 

[AvidFan]

Ok for a Monday. On my 3rd coffee. Slept a bit rubbish but did sleep some. Can pace myself today, not going to work too much or too hard and might watch the Nadal match this afternoon. Sorted out a credit card as I got a letter saying they would kill my card if I didn't use it in the next 2 months. With a £15k of credit available it will be handy to keep for emergencies (glad I've been doing well enough to not use it but I will have some interest free balances coming to an end and this card has good offers for transfers!). I thought of changing a monthly subscription payment to the card but when I looked for the card I couldn't find it anywhere. Fortunately it hasn't been used, I probably lost it around the house somewhere so I ordered a new physical card. Bit of admin done for the day!

 

[Lane]

Poorly

(((Hugs))). I know life can be difficult. I hope you feel better, even just a little bit.

 

[AvidFan]

I got through the weekend mainly by watching TV and eating too much junk food, oh and sleeping. Imnervous about returning to my old job since the girls made a big fuss about me leaving. I'm afraid they'll think I'm a loser for coming back, but things happen. I go back in 2 weeks. In the meantime I have concerns about my health insurance since it's about to be discontinued. It's always something, isn't it? But I will jump on healthcare.gov or the company's plan. I just worry about my mental healthcare scripts since I'm on 4 different ones.

It's always something for sure. It's understandable to be nervous about going back to a place where everyone has processed an ending/leaving but maybe they'll be glad to see you 😃

 

[Lane]

It's always something for sure. It's understandable to be nervous about going back to a place where everyone has processed an ending/leaving but maybe they'll be glad to see you 😃

You're right Avid. Maybe they will be. Then in a week or so, it'll be old news. Ha. I hope you have a good day.

 

[Auri]

@1964dodge I'm sorry about Buddy. I hope you can think of all the good memories with him. Sending love.

 

[corneredrat]

Yesterday I realized something important. Something I forgot when my depression first began. While watching some documentary about desert elephants of Namibia I suddenly remembered - hey, I am an animal too, a god damn monkey! This may sound stupid, but it allows to see myself and the world in a bit different light... Monkeys... Sick crazy monkeys. And I am one of them, at least on the outside. It's absurd. It's insane. The elephants just roam the desert and they are satisfied with that. And yet this monkey brain is never satisfied. Is never still. Never has enough. Always hungers for things... Yells, screams, kicks, punches, cuts in frustration at all times. Right now I am pondering the absurdity of it all...

 

[AvidFan]

Anxious. Not about anything in particular, it seems to be whenever I start doing any work, I start to feel a bit shaky. Decided to stop trying and watch tennis for a bit, lucky I have a choice. For now, anyway!

 

[zuzu]

I am not feeling well I am out my mind

 

[AvidFan]

I am not feeling well I am out my mind

😢 Hope you can feel a bit better soon.

 

[puffymilk]

Awful. Horrible. Terrible. I wish I could just die.

 

[AvidFan]

Awful. Horrible. Terrible. I wish I could just die.

😢

 

[AvidFan]

I am feeling OK. I managed to logon and do an hour's work. It's OK if I break it up into little chunks, a bit here and a bit there! I have to be careful about marathon stints or my brain will just melt.