Trapped. Wish I had the liberty to go to sleep and not wake up, my empathy for the people I'd leave behind just won't let me do it. So I have to keep suffering for god knows how much longer, working like an idiot to pay the mortgage and bills just so I can keep working. Not having a good day today/this week. Just when my cup of shit is full, someone spits in it and tips it over. Fucking fuck people.
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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if you look at it this way, life on this earth is just a drop in the ocean of eternity. hold on @Aurelia
mike....
mike....
Good luck. I feel drowsy too. At least one meeting is cancelled so my day is technically easier. But have a mountain of paperwork to complete in between meetings and interviews anyway. I struggled to sleep despite numerous things to knock me out, but at least feel semi able to cope with the day so far. Only 1 coffee in, so we'll see!
Feel like I'm in the calm before the storm. Managed to get up and felt OK considering last night I was in a complete state. Felt calm overall until my mind started convincing me I'd left something on in the house and it would blow up unattended all day. Trying to ignore the anxiety as these things are like locking the door - it's automatic so I don't register it, it's always fine when I go back to check. I just can't check until 7pm tonight. My journey to office was uneventful, now the meetings, interviews and other grind begins for the day. I will treat myself to a cab home. Wish me luck, love to all of you ❤️❤️❤️
Worried. My sister needs me to co-sign a lease agreement for a new apartment in order to get one. She needs a certain income level to get one. I am worried that it will affect our relationship if she doesn’t have enough money to pay for rent and I have to pay. On the other hand I can’t let her and my niece go homeless. So I will have to trust that it will all work out. But I am worried.
I feel the same way. Sometimes when I'm replying to someone I look at the date they arrived here. I feel like sometimes people have come here 5 years ago, 10 years ago and they're still here - still fighting, still getting on with things. Maybe they still feel crappy from time to time but every person here is also still alive and that shit is an accomplishment for all of us.
Sorry you had such a crap day yesterday Mike. How was your cancer screening? @1964dodge
Can you work up some kind of an agreement, or contract, with her? In order to try & help her or to encourage her to make the payments & to keep up her end of the bargain. Or is that not really the issue (her trust/worthiness, shall we say)? And it's more about, whether or not she can come up with the dough, or funds, at or on & around the time in which they are due? Biting of more than we chew, or should chew, so to speak? Yes, I understand, it is concerning then - either way! Good heart you've got on you, so long as it doesn't chew into your resources.
@Walker and @MisterBGone She has been pretty responsible for the past 17 years so the recognition of achievement is a good track record. The alternative is that they move in with me, 35 miles away with their 2 cats, a dog, and multiple tanks of fish. I have been living alone for 15 years it would be an adjustment. She has the first, last, and security deposit so move in money so that isn't an issue. I just don't like being in hock for someone else and I have to recognize the enormity of the problem. I guess now that I think of it, it isn't that bad. Thanks for the feedback.
For a fact I know that I am intelligent and pretty, as a friend of mine was reminding me about my academic achievements today and saying I am something special. Sad thing is, im not one slight bit close to being a strong person and that's what holds me back. Which is, very very very sad. Little things can completely wreck me and for that reason I might fall behind my exams or career.