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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Just today that I wokeup having a panic attack for a petty reason, i started wondering what went so wrong in my life that I turned into such an emotional mess.
I was reading my old posts from just 2 year ago and i found one where i was complaining about my mother hitting me in the head when she was mad at me. Istg i didnt even remember that. And that wasnt the first time. It was probably the last time tho, cause i dont live with them anymore.
Both my parents used to hit me when i was as young as kindergarten age, i vividly remember. When i became a teen, my dad stopped but my mom kept going till i was 23 which was the age i moved out 2 years ago. Although it was more occasional compared to when i was a kid, but it was still there.
And im here thinking, was i supposed to turn out fine??? Yes we were fine way more than we were not. Yes they provided for me, they loved me, they paid a lot for me to attend the private school which i did or the beauty procedures. They pretty much never said no to anything i wanted. But anger issues or whatever it is, they occasionally humiliated me like crazy. They hit me and have my head be in pain eversince they we like 4 times my size and had complete control over me. Was i not supposed to be this depressed mess, peel all the skin off my lips out of anxiety and have major self-esteem issues?
Or maybe i should have been over it by now cause im grown up?
I was reading my old posts from just 2 year ago and i found one where i was complaining about my mother hitting me in the head when she was mad at me. Istg i didnt even remember that. And that wasnt the first time. It was probably the last time tho, cause i dont live with them anymore.
Both my parents used to hit me when i was as young as kindergarten age, i vividly remember. When i became a teen, my dad stopped but my mom kept going till i was 23 which was the age i moved out 2 years ago. Although it was more occasional compared to when i was a kid, but it was still there.
And im here thinking, was i supposed to turn out fine??? Yes we were fine way more than we were not. Yes they provided for me, they loved me, they paid a lot for me to attend the private school which i did or the beauty procedures. They pretty much never said no to anything i wanted. But anger issues or whatever it is, they occasionally humiliated me like crazy. They hit me and have my head be in pain eversince they we like 4 times my size and had complete control over me. Was i not supposed to be this depressed mess, peel all the skin off my lips out of anxiety and have major self-esteem issues?
Or maybe i should have been over it by now cause im grown up?