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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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Thanks for asking and welcome to the forum. I like gardening, but i'm doing this because it very much needs done, as I have just moved into the house and the garden is more like a jungle. I read some of your other posts, where it sounds the trauma of what you and others are going through is very fresh. I'd encourage you to start with your own self care, make sure your looking after yourself and engage in exercise, such a going to the gym or walking/ running. Good luck.
Part of my downward spiral for lack of a better term is my inability to move my body much these days as I’m disabled- I have a condition called IIH so I’m not particularly mobile. But I’m working on incorporating little walks and I’d like to work up to maybe a self defense or kickboxing class someday?
when you were first trying to get motivated what helped you get there? Right now I’m rapidly fluctuating between wanting to get better and wanting to leave.
when you were first trying to get motivated what helped you get there? Right now I’m rapidly fluctuating between wanting to get better and wanting to leave.
Hmm.. interesting question. For me 'doing things' isn't so much about motivation, it tends to be more about 'having too'. When I get anxious or distressed, I like to 'move' and 'do' something. This might be a long walk or doing some art, or something I like doing.
What I'd suggest, if your asking, is don't look it as finding motivation so much. You kind of need to have a tool box of interests and things you like do, before the 'motivation'. Write down on a pad what you like to do or want to try out, start small, jumping from 'not particularly mobile' to 'kickboxing' is getting way ahead of yourself.
You'll find that 'motivation' or lets call it 'the drive' to do something, comes and goes. Therefore you need to have some interests and activities ready so that when the mood takes you, you can go do it.
For example if your wanting to go on little walks, do you have suitable footwear ready, suitable clothing, things like that. If you want to draw, do you have pens, paper to hand.
Hope that helps.
What I'd suggest, if your asking, is don't look it as finding motivation so much. You kind of need to have a tool box of interests and things you like do, before the 'motivation'. Write down on a pad what you like to do or want to try out, start small, jumping from 'not particularly mobile' to 'kickboxing' is getting way ahead of yourself.
You'll find that 'motivation' or lets call it 'the drive' to do something, comes and goes. Therefore you need to have some interests and activities ready so that when the mood takes you, you can go do it.
For example if your wanting to go on little walks, do you have suitable footwear ready, suitable clothing, things like that. If you want to draw, do you have pens, paper to hand.
Hope that helps.
[QFor example if your wanting to go on little walks, do you have suitable footwear ready, suitable clothing, things like that. If you want to draw, do you have pens, paper to hand.
Hope that helps.[/QUOTE]
Thank you, and all of that does really help- I’m very far out from kickboxing and I realize that. I guess I’m just having a hard time distinguishing what kind of goals to give myself- do I dream really big? Do I dream at all? Right now every day is a rollercoaster for me.
I have a safety plan that I’ve listed a few things on but I could make a more detailed list and maybe…categorize it by effort? Or by what I have available?
Hope that helps.[/QUOTE]
Thank you, and all of that does really help- I’m very far out from kickboxing and I realize that. I guess I’m just having a hard time distinguishing what kind of goals to give myself- do I dream really big? Do I dream at all? Right now every day is a rollercoaster for me.
I have a safety plan that I’ve listed a few things on but I could make a more detailed list and maybe…categorize it by effort? Or by what I have available?
Terrible. I am struggling a lot. There are tears off and on. I feel like it’s too risky to ask for help, seeing what happened last time.
I’m having a hard time trying to keep attached to my “mooring lines,” a term that I have learned in recovery to describe the core values and beliefs that I can return to when I feel tempted.
Things at the moment are more mental health related and I feel like my mooring lines are frayed. I feel like I’m in a storm that may or may not cause the lines to snap and sweep me out to sea, with my craft being ripped to splinters in the process.
If this happens I will be lost in the ocean of my own despair, too far away to see the shore or know which direction to swim in to get there.
Oh well, I gotta go sometime, and there are worse ways than drowning. I can’t say I’m not looking forward to the end of the struggle.
I’m having a hard time trying to keep attached to my “mooring lines,” a term that I have learned in recovery to describe the core values and beliefs that I can return to when I feel tempted.
Things at the moment are more mental health related and I feel like my mooring lines are frayed. I feel like I’m in a storm that may or may not cause the lines to snap and sweep me out to sea, with my craft being ripped to splinters in the process.
If this happens I will be lost in the ocean of my own despair, too far away to see the shore or know which direction to swim in to get there.
Oh well, I gotta go sometime, and there are worse ways than drowning. I can’t say I’m not looking forward to the end of the struggle.
But, when doesn't it sound good? LOL
Okay maybe a little better. I would be overstating it to say I am feeling terrible or overwhelmed. I’m still thinking about not being alive. Obviously it would not be a relief, because there would be no one there to experience anything at all. It would be such an improvement though to stop existing. I didn’t exist before, and I was fine with that!
Too bad my parents didn’t use birth control and brought my ass into this horror show of a world. I am not planning to do it myself. At the same time I will welcome the Grim Reaper with open arms and a smile, when I get the opportunity.
Too bad my parents didn’t use birth control and brought my ass into this horror show of a world. I am not planning to do it myself. At the same time I will welcome the Grim Reaper with open arms and a smile, when I get the opportunity.
Thank you for saying that. I wonder if I can learn how to like myself as much as others do. Because I’m apologizing for existing all over the place and I’m probably worrying my friends who don’t know what it’s like to feel like suicide is a good idea, but simultaneously knowing that the thought is not mine.
i'm sorry you have to deal with this. we had a corporation that bought the building and they raised the rent almost 50% in 15 months and gave us a notice to vacate, they are pushing out one tenenant at a time, renovating and triple the rent from where it was when they bought the building. this is the sad new reality of greedy landlords. you may want to start looking now before you have to for a good priced apartment, there are still some good landlords out there. but stick to a place that has 4 units or less so corporations don't buy it. i wish you all the best
mike....
mike....
